war topic

I haven't seen this for ages. used to be the 'go to' put down.

It would get very messy for sure.

I don't think the expression 'thread police' is appropriate the majority of the time. You can't 'police' a thread unless you can do anything about any perceived crimes to posting. Nobody has any authority around here to do anything.

*moved to 'lighthearted chat'.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/corona_free_zone

I think the dilemma would be whether the post is 'lighthearted' enough for 'lighthearted chat'.
Can you imagine getting what you think is your vair serious post to 'lighthearted chat'.

I have joked before that we should have 'Mumsnet Lite' a whole new site for people who don't take everything quite so seriously.

It seems so. A polite request for MNHQ to consider something is clamouring apparently.

All v dramatic.

After all, Ukraine is just the big issue of the moment.

Sadly I think it is more than that.

Irrespective of whether volume of posts stays constant, I think it would be good to have a place where people can get information on best places to donate.

Anything in AIBU or chat just gets lost unless there is some kind of debate going on.

Flipping heck - is “clamouring” going to be the new “frothing”?!

I don't think people 'clamour' for another board to be created particularly. Covid and Ukraine are just huge world events that get everyone scared/passionate/armchair expert etc And sometimes Active seems like that's all there is.

I think the requests for the sex topic rumbled on for months before they set it up.

Time will tell.

After all, Ukraine is just the big issue of the moment. When the next major world event occurs, everyone will be talking about that, and clamouring for yet another new board etc. In the meantime, the more sensitive posters may find that their mental health issues are triggered all over again. Whereas they could stay in a relatively safe space (which could perhaps be more heavily moderated than most) and hide the general boards from view.

MNHQ could create a Ukraine board, but as we have discussed, that wouldn't stop people from posting about the topic on Chat or AIBU as well, unless the rules were changed to specifically disallow that. Lots of us don't want the range of topics allowed on the miscellaneous boards to be restricted, but some people have made it clear that they don't want to hide the midcellaneous boards altogether. So it makes sense to me to consider creating a safe space for people who struggle with mental health issues etc to engage in general chat about issues that cannot possibly trigger anyone, while allowing everyone else to carry on as they wish.

@BIWI

All this talk about having to have new boards and strict rules - whereas it would be so easy to just start a new board. I wonder if MNHQ have ever thought about that ...

If they are going to set up a board because of all the Ukraine threads then it should be a Ukraine board IMO.

Maybe they are furiously working on that much wanted 'like' button or something.

All this talk about having to have new boards and strict rules - whereas it would be so easy to just start a new board. I wonder if MNHQ have ever thought about that ...

Maybe MNHQ needs another board for "safe" lighthearted chat that won't ever touch on any serious subjects? A kind of "trivia only/safe space" board for those who like some of the variety of AIBU/Chat but only to a certain point? There could be some strict rules about what people could post about on the board, and perhaps about how people express themselves on there so that the more fragile MNers a could have a place to go that wouldn't restrict the freedoms of other posters?

Sorry, but those saying along the lines of “just avoid AIBU/Chat” are being a bit unfair

Its not reasonable to expect the millions of members of a adult forum to keep everything they say child friendly and safe for risk of triggering the many, many issues people flag up hear as potentially triggering. More than that - its not realistic.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying to people who feel vulnerable to hide AIBU/Chat because they are open topics. Its the correct advice to give and there are many topics with light and heavy discussion. If you want to censor AIBU it to some sort of family friendly sequence of penis beaker and parking threads then you will lose those very gems you want.

I do think the domination of AIBU dilutes the value of the whole site, however I'm in a minority - I don't expect it to change.

I also know quite a bit about dealing with mental health problems - enough to know that the best help and advice you can give in many cases is the tools to deal with the world as it is, rather than expecting the world to change around you. Here the tools are hiding AIBU/Chat (which you would need to do even if there was a separate war topic).

I definitely agree re some of the language (ie wet lettuce) used. It’s a sweeping, useless type of way of dismissing some valid feelings.

I don’t think that ANYONE on this thread has been wanting to sweep things under the carpet. Pretty much everyone knows that this is a huge, relevant, current issue. Hence why, in my mind, a topic of its own makes sense. All threads, all under one roof. If you want to see them - easy to find. If you don’t want to go there right now - easy to avoid.

Sorry, but those saying along the lines of “just avoid AIBU/Chat” are being a bit unfair. For me, those two boards are where I go for a bit of everyday MIL/parking/CF/cat shitting/bridezilla shit. Along with many other random topics that can sometimes throw up gems of useful info within them.

Thankfully, over the last day, the number of “batshit” thread titles seems to have dropped off a bit. I hope it stays that way, but given this situation may continue for a while then I hope that @MNHQ keep an open mind.

Anyone coming here to post, who is feeling more anxious/alarmed by some of the thread titles. For the time being, try to ignore them. There is one, long-running, thread called “Invasion” - think it’s on thread 6 now. Yes, the title sounds alarming, but it’s probably the least alarmist set of threads on this topic. There are a few skirmishes on there between posters, but it wouldn’t be MN without that! There is pretty much no doom scenarios on those threads.

Finally, and I hope you take this the right way - I’m almost double your age. In my mind, I probably think of myself as the same age as you - I have to remind myself how old I am. I have to remind myself that someone your age has grown up with SM at their fingertips from an earlier age compared to my life timeline. So, it’s ok to step away from SM/online news for a while - maybe limit it to a set hour per day. Am not trying to be patronising, am just trying to picture how different my life would have been at your age with everything constantly available online - bloody exhausting!

It’s not meant to be used to appease the ‘omg we’re all going to diiiiieee’ wet lettuce brigade.

What an ignorant thing to say. I don't know whether you have any personal experience of mental health problems but I know enough people that do, myself included.

I haven't posted anything like "omg we're all going to die" but there were two days over the past week where I was secretly deliberating on whether or not I should take my own life because I couldn't cope with the degree of anxiety and panic I was feeling. I couldn't function / eat / sleep. I genuinely felt as though I had just been handed a death sentence, as irrational as that might sound to you, it felt very real to me.

Those feelings were compounded by a handful of idiots, some on mumsnet, telling me that I should be thankful I live in London as I'd be killed immediately when a nuclear bomb strikes and I'd be better off heading towards the epicentre.

Nuclear this, nuclear that. It was too much for my mind to handle.

So there I was, a 4 month postpartum 28 year old mother of three with a lengthy history of complex trauma, considering necking the whole lot of my prescription medication (despite never suffering from suicidal ideation in the past)

I'm sorry if you think that makes me a wet lettuce, perhaps I am, but wet lettuces should be free to read mumsnet for some light hearted relief from the stresses of the current world without being met by, as you said, "aaaaargh we're all gonna die" splashed all over the Trending bar on the home page.

Thankfully I'm starting to pull myself out of that frame of mind but the next person might not be so lucky.

Do not diminish vulnerable people as being wet lettuces.

I was pulled up very short a few days ago by realising that some people are really scared about this and I don't think mockery is the right way to go.

I would support a Ukraine topic if felt best but I also really don't think it is reasonable to expect people not to discuss the situation, although some of the more alarmist titles are not helping anyone

The point is, you can't control what other people are going to put on a miscellaneous board that is open for the discussion of multiple different topics. If seeing certain types of thread title is so disturbing to you, then it is advisable to take steps to protect yourself. Even if a separate board was created, you would still get people posting in the "wrong" place anyway, so there is still a risk that you would be traumatised by things that you don't want to see.

People wouldn't write to the BBC to ask them to stop reporting on the news from Ukraine because they don't want to see that but they don't want to miss out on the other news stories that might be covered. They would just switch over to something else and get their other news from a different source.

General discussion forums that are not limited to specific topics are just that. General. They don't promise to be free from any subject that might ever cause anyone to be concerned or upset. So they will be populated by threads that reflect whatever the majority of people want to discuss. If you don't want to join those discussions, you are entirely free not to do so.

Telling people with fragile mental health, or who might be triggered, to hide the entire Chat and AIBU boards isn't a fair or reasonable solution.

That means they miss out on all the genuine chat/fun/trivial/light hearted threads and the bonkers petty gripes ones that are a bit of light relief.

And because people will insist on posting health, education, recipes, property, relationships, parenting - whatever! - questions in chat and aibu then anyone who has the two entire boards hidden is going to miss out on benefiting from the information in those chats, or giving advice to people in need.

MNHQ could get rid of the miscellaneous boards, I suppose, and we could all just go to the topics that specifically interest us. However, that would be shooting themselves in the foot a bit as the miscellaneous boards are probably amongst the most popular on the site. I presume that people like the variety.

Ironically, that seems to be why some posters are so unwilling to hide Chat and AIBU even though they don't like some of the threads on there. They want access to those varied discussion topics, as long as they can dictate to others exactly what those topics are.

AIBU allows people to ask if they are being unreasonable about any topic. Chat allows people to chat about any topic. The popularity of those boards demonstrates that people like to use the miscellaneous boards, so presumably they like the breadth of topics covered. If certain individuals find that other posters want to discuss matters that they find uninteresting or distressing, then they can remove themselves from that area so that they don't have to see them. There are plenty of other boards where they can post for support or entertainment if they do choose.

I also think people posting on difficult subjects would be well advised not to post on AIBU because the tone of responses can be horrendous.

The miscellaneous boards will be reduced to little other than parking threads and MIL threads, and I expect someone will be along sooner or later because they find those triggering.

I genuinely don’t understand why that is a problem when you can easily see all active posts on all forums.