Quote of the week...

Surely this must be this week's? From AIBU thread about fantasies started today by Maidithappen.

By LeQueen Wed 18-Nov-09 22:22:51

No woman ever shot her husband whilst he was washing the dinner pots.

I'd like to nominate this quote about letting the DC's decorate the Christmas tree:

Slubberdegullion Fri 13-Nov-09 14:00:35

ho ho ho indeed

Although last year I tried a new technique, which I really probably should not share on a parenting website that has just won two awards, but anyway

yes

I drank two large mugs of mulled wine fortified with amaretto pre Christmas tree decoration with the DC and it all panned out suprisingly well.

I would like to nominate

By SheherazadetheGoat Tue 03-Feb-09 14:54:40

I think all emoticons are shite. If I want to look at exaggerated soulless faces conveying simplistic emotions I will turn cbeebies on.

on this thread

ikea thread

By nancy75 on Sun 18-Jan-09 19:36:07
never never go to ikea on a weekend or bank holiday, unless you want a divorce and are too scared to ask!

By notnowbernard on Sun 18-Jan-09 20:41:09
I always find a trip to Ikea is a bit like childbirth...

It starts off all exciting yet manageable

But by the checkout you're screaming for a caesarian

And you're walking to the carpark swearing "NEVER again"

Only 6m later...

PLEASE can we haev an intelligent QOTW?

By TWINSETinapeartree on Sun 04-Jan-09 23:52:03
zazen I dont think recomending Daily Mail articles will convince people that burlesque dancing is not a betrayal of feminism. !

I love ninedragons one here

"They're like one of those poos that won't go away no matter how many times you flush. " (about C&A in China_)

Heres one from Desi - helping to solve Coldtits shelf putting up dilema...

"You don't need to borrow a drill. You need to borrow a man with a drill. Walk into your local pub, and ask if you can borrow one.

Men cannot stand women using drills. It offends them mightily. Ask the question, and you will have your shelves up by the morning."

From this thread

StealthPoHoHoHo, on a thread soliciting rants: "retiredgoth, have you been waitnig to post about that for 35 odd years? Did you envisage the internet becoming widely available so you could post on a rant thread?"

I prefer this one, from the same thread as finknottle's...

By Swedes on Wed 17-Dec-08 13:35:13

Thready - Weren't the Ionian Thinkers the first philosophers, moving from myth to science (the cosmos)? I feel we should be discussing the word 'flux'.

By onebatmotherofgoditschilly on Wed 17-Dec-08 13:54:09

ffluxsake.

This from Threadworrm from Pedants' Corner's "Cringe at Crimbo" thread is classic MN for me. The train of thought going all over the place whilst remaining compulsive reading, the apology if offence were taken but no apology for the succinct appraisal of the latest twist in the thread.

Plus "(sorry, quick wank)" still makes me laugh.

"Perhaps here (sorry, quick wank) we have the whole history of metaphysical thought, from magic, through religion, to philosophy. Magic makes a fetish of the word, giving it incantatory power; religion broadens the focus from 'word' to 'language' (reason/thought), conceived as the divine order behind the universe; philosophy disinvests language/reason/thought from the divine (partially disinvests it if Hegel, fully disinvests it if a less mad philosopher)and studies it on its own terms. (Then Wittgenstein says that philosophy is 'language gone on holiday' and packs up the whole enterprise to become a gardener in a monastery.)

Moondog on the Xfactor about the JLS stampede:

Tue 09-Dec-08 22:47:03

oH x fACTOR.
No wonder.
Would rather mate energetically with a trio of syphilitic baboons that watch such nonsense.

From Snaf, Mon 2nd Dec, 15.29.42

"And as for female empowerment...meh. That old chestnut? Why, these days, does "empowerment" always seem to equal uncomfortable shoes?"

From the Celebs we don't understand thread about Dita Von Teese.

Re trying to break one's Mumsnet addiction...

By TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench on Mon 24-Nov-08 22:13:07

Tis like the Hotel California round here

I'd like to nominate my new spouse DeborahBorr please on the rich tax avoidance thread for:

The rich are always threatening to leave. Andrew Lloyd Webber. Paul Daniels. Both still here

I would like to nominate Quattrocento for this quote from the Stepford thread

"Farking stepford wives. This is MN. You know. The home of intelligent feisty irascible and frequently drunken women."

Can I put foreward GrimmaTheNome:

"So PortBlack, you and your DH should make cakes at the same time and you can combine them with his peak in your....er... bumhole well it was your choice of word! "

In response to PortBlacksandResident:

"DH's cakes do this - he slices the top off and turns it upside down.

Mine do exactly the opposite and i end up with a bumhole in the middle of mine.

Bizarre. "

on a thread about why some cakes rise in the middle..... here

On this thread

Discussing the optimum environment for giving birth....

By BoffinMum on Thu 13-Nov-08 18:59:30

Gok Wan on hand to make sure we keep looking good naked throughout, and to shout, "You can do it, girlfriend!" in all the most difficult moments.

IorekB

"Swedes, have you explored the possibilities of using hundreds and thousands to recreate the great pointilliste masterpieces? I was rather pleased with dd's "Bathers of Asnieres" birthday cake this year."

On this thread

This quote from Boco made me PMSL!

'Do you mean people who are vegetarian but 'meet' chicken and fish? as in a social capacity, for a drink or to see a film or maybe a nice walk?, but don't actually eat them? Because if they turned around and ate them, they wouldn't be a vegetarian, but if they see them safely home afterwards then I think it's fine.'

From this thread

this is funny

"Dimbleby looked & sounded like a PCC member who'd been roped into chairing a meeting because the chair had put his back out again and he'd really rather be at home tending to his bonsai trees and watching Countdown".

Finknottle on the BBC's American Election Coverage from this thread you will blub when you hear ...

By TwinsetandPearls here

"He wasa nightmare between about 2 and 4ish, humped everything. Infact he loved dd toy horse which was about his size as if pressure was applied in the correct place it would neigh which I think the dog took as a compliment. he used to shag it on the dining table in front of the window in our dining room. Sometimes I would be working in my study upstairs and I could see people outside looking at out house in shock/ amusement I would know the dog was at it again and sure enough that neigh would follow. I can remember once dd dragging the said horse into the room where I was entertaining guests and she annouced "Mummy the horse smells of spunk again"

However despite the fact my cat has no bollocks it regularly tries to shag my springer.