We don't allow threads like this

Thanks for responding yetanotherBecky .

I think MNHQ like to pretend they are listening and taking points on board but I don't think they are .

Our exchange in December had them saying

The main concern seems to be about the wording of our deletion message.

We do absolutely take your point that it sounds a bit 'bald', particularly on threads where an OP is having a really difficult time.

The wording of these posts we decided on with guidance from The Samaritans and Mind, as we felt that we simply weren't experts on the subject

Having read the guidelines from the NSPA which are "for online community moderators in responding to suicidal content" and " were developed after consultation with a huge range of stakeholders and were led by Mind"
www.nspa.org.uk/resources/supporting-online-communities-click-to-view-the-guidance/ they don't suggest anything like the response on MN.

MN also said While the term 'these sorts of threads' does sound odd, the alternative is to be clear about it and say 'threads about suicide' or 'threads about self harm', and we suspect we were advised to avoid those terms as they might be potentially triggering for someone already in a bad place but I'm sure they could come up with better wording .

Suggestions were made and and a promise to
run this past those professional organisations again when we next look at updating and checking all our processes with threads that mention suicide

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet. do you know when the looking and updating might take place ?

I think that's a very valid point. I think we should be telling people to seek professional assistance from a doctor rather than asking them to ring a helpline. The Samaritans have a role, but they can't do anything except listen. And obviously, it's just call takers so lines can get disconnected etc. 111 or 999 would ring you back.

Have read this thread with interest as something a little similar happened before Christmas .Again it was a thread where the poster was not discussing suicide .

It was discussed here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/3754134-talk-guidelines-for-threads-like-this?pg=1

and ,if anyone is interested ,they might want to look at this

www.nspa.org.uk/resources/supporting-online-communities-click-to-view-the-guidance/
The guidelines above suggest that someone at risk should be told to seek professional advice by ringing 111 ,calling GP for emergency out of hours appointment ,calling 999 or going to A&E.

The doc mentions several times the importance of moderators to let the community know what's going on without breaking confidentiality .

@TheBlueStocking I was saying I agree with the overall policy. As I said, I never saw the original thread this was about, so gave no opinion on it.

I'm glad you are OK @amazedmummy and hope that you are getting some good support away from the public internet.

@amazedmummy

We do all care very much x

Good morning amazedmummy, so glad to hear from you this morning I was about to post on your thread last night before it disappeared, my sister presented at A&E when she was feeling like you were last night, it got her the help she needed.

Morning everyone, it was my thread. Thanks for your concern. I can understand the reasons that threads should be taken down but last night really felt like a kick in the teeth. Thanks again for your concern, it's always nice to know that someone cares.

I think it's really important to remember that we will get new mums with PND on here and they may need a bit more generosity with letting their threads stand than other kinds of dramatic suicide threats. I think most people with PND get the feeling that their families and their baby will be better off without them, which is a symptom of their illness rather than a genuine wish to commit suicide.

@AdachiOljulo

Whilst the principle of what you've said is right, this particular thread was nothing of that nature. Those of us that read it and saw the deletion message found it upsetting, most of all the poor OP. I'm glad MN have agreed that it should have been handled differently.

We’re all human and it’s our instinct to want to help as much as possible but we must consider that a poster may be better off seeking (sometimes urgent) professional help

You advised her to contact the very service she had stated had hung up on her when she reached out to them

I hope she’s okay

I think it's right to have this policy. I didn't see the original thread but i have seen threads on other forums where a fantasist used a suicidal opening post to create a massive fictional melodrama sucking in the falsely claimed support and sympathy of hundreds of site members like an emotional vampire. whilst we do get melodramatic trolls here with less dramatic opening gambits, the ban is a good thing. posting anonymously to the whole world is not a good way to get support if you are in a genuine crisis - anyone can answer and they may not have good intentions - a nasty person could even reply encouraging the person with a crisis to go ahead and harm themselves, others may give well meaning but badly thought out advice which makes things worse. far better for the genuine person to appeal to an individual with training and backup.

maybe we should all be making donations to Samaritans if they don't have the resources to answer calls when needed?

Don't leave the thing about the samaritans! Good luck.

Yes, thank God she was ok. But she clearly hadn't received any kindness or support from @MNHQ.

I hope questions are going to be asked about this today.

@clairethewitch70

I am so sorry that happened to you. I had really bad PND and it's really common to feel you have thoughts like people would be better off without you because you feel like you're not good enough. It's not being suicidal. It's a common problem with PND.

Clairethewitch70, I'm sorry you were not supported when you needed it.

Just when I thought human beings couldn’t stoop any lower this person was screaming out for help and their post deleted so we even know if this person is ok xx mortified

That’s not what I’m saying at all. I think it’s fine to ask why the guidelines are what they are. I really don’t think it’s helpful to that particular poster to start arguing about exactly what they did or didn’t say.

Posters who are actively suicidal and have a plan shouldn’t come here for support-MN isn’t qualified to provide it and they should be signposted to better places.

This was me a few years ago. I was feeling suicidal but had no clear plan. I also had no support. I was trying to protect my family. The Samaritans were worse than useless. I just wanted someone to talk me down. Mumsnet deleted my thread even though I was getting lots of support. I spiralled down as I had no-one to talk to and felt alone and unsupported. Mumsnet rejecting me just compounded the issues. This poor women. I never saw the thread and I hope she is ok.