Urgently need to contact a moderator

Tigek

Bloke broke up with his gf and was suicidal
Lots of posts from MNers suggesting he seek RL help as well as posts offering conversation.
Poster not really taking MNers posts on board and continues to sound troubled (could be because they are so deep in the hole, or could be for other reasons)
Poster then posts that police turned up to their place of work to check their welfare. Poster is cross.
Poster then strongly encourages MNers to post/PM him off board
MN suspend his PMs
He gets very upset and despite MNers trying to engage him in conversation on board, he just keeps repeating that he wants to MNto reinstate his PMs and for posters to check their PMs and to PM him.

MN post repeated generic warnings on the thread and eventually delete.

All in all, a bit of a clusterfuck.

I suspect this post will go.

I saw the thread and I thought it needed outside intervention to be honest.
I can understand others views on being able to post anonymously without repercussions its a really tricky one.

Absolutely, norebel, I think it is a high risk strategy and very very unwise. I’m on the same side as you. By keeping these sorts of threads on MN, it risks placing vulnerable posters who just want to help in a dangerous or disadvantaged position (emotionally, financially or physically). Let’s not even get started on the vultures who live for the drama.

And the poster where zombie drove out in the middle of the night was a troll. Not on that occasion, but on numerous others and they were ultimately banned for trolling and were a deeply unpleasant individual as it was.

Zombie did what she did from the right place, but those threads were very much discussed etc etc and it was very much echoed that zombie had been incredibly unwise to act in the way that she had.

Mumsnet will not be responsible (legally or morally) for a person’s death just by deleting a thread.

What will HQ do about the threatened suicide who they decide is a troll? And who then dies? Is there going to be some kind of hierarchy? well, how will they know if that poster dies? After all this is an anonymous Internet forum. Someone posts here one day and not the next, there is no way of knowing what happens to them is there?

Many posters here name change monthly, so even the same poster here could have 25 different usernames and nobody would ever know who they are. And it’s unlikely that someone’s partner is going to post here that a suicidal poster killed themselves because mn didn’t intervene when they themselves didn’t.

The thread in question has been deleted now, btw.

There was an intervention wayyyyyy back when. Early 2000’s when the site was tiny and much more ‘private’ and personal feeling than it is now, we ‘knew’ each other. In the event, that poster was ‘genuine’ and was pleased that someone had intervened. Things were different then and we were probably (definitely) pretty naive in terms of security and privacy. It’s definitely not advisable these days.

What will HQ do about the threatened suicide who they decide is a troll? And who then dies? Is there going to be some kind of hierarchy?

This is really really weird.

Have those words always been in the blurb?
This is way overstepping the responsibilities of a parenting forum and IMO could open a can of worms large enough to swallow the site whole.
You do it for one, you're going to have to do it for all of them for starters.
Are you going to start sending the police round to every poster who's been hit by their partner?
In 15 years the only eyebrow raising intervention I remember seeing was on Zombiegate night when the weirdfucker playing puppet master was apparently in contact with HQ at all stages which was odd enough (if true) (especially once everyone knew who the rescuee was) but this takes it to another level.

You do have a point Tigek .

Anyone actually needing to contact MN could just email them like a normal person.

It's that need for attention and drama that makes the whole 'outside agencies' thing so outrageous.

Of course MichaelMumsnet could also have told them to keep it off the boards and stick to email.

Or clarified the MN position on calling the fucking police on posters.

your worried about data breach when the df are on here scouring for stories andprinting them?

Thing is, do we actually know that the police went to this person’s work? That sounds somewhat implausible to me if they posted from home last night and are now posting that the police showed up at work? How do we know that the police even did show up or that the thread isn’t just someone having a laugh and looking to make a mockery of mn?

@LeesPostersAreInFrames whenever a thread is flagged as suspicious on mn and they’re not sure either way whether it’s genuine they always respond with words to the effect of “obviously we can never know for certain that anyone on the internet is who they say they are,”. So if they can’t be sure of that in terms of someone posting that little Johnny didn’t get a party invite then there’s absolutely no way of knowing that someone claiming to be about to commit suicide is purely by the data they hold on them.

Did you sign up here with your rl name? I didn’t. Neither does my email address point to my name,and sometimes I am on my home WiFi but sometimes I’m on mobile data, or at family’s house, or hospital WiFi, there is absolutely no way of knowing without considerable amounts of intervention who. Am. And the truth is that if there was then mn would be able to prevent the recurrent trolls who post here from coming back time after time after time and yet they’re not.

But I can see NoCauseRebel's viewpoint on the rest though. It is a tough one.

Do we actually have any proof that this happened Utterly? Or is it just rumour and whispers?

When I called emergency services as a person I was speaking to in 'real life' was threatening to kill themselves I was told it was not a police matter (as no one else was in danger), but a mental health issue and they sent an ambulance. Don't know if it depends on area.

the Samaritan's, whose advice MN supposedly take, advocate non intervention.

That's what they do. When drawing up a policy with another organisation that may be different. Mumsnet is not the Samaritans.

I often get calls from distressed people due to my job. Generally I will signpost to the appropriate service in the area, but if they were talking about suicide or self harm I would ask their permission to call for some assistance for them - obviously there is a limit to what I can do if they won't give me any details. As an organisation there have been a couple of occasions when we've had to contact the police or call an ambulance for someone.

Remember that when people don’t reach out it’s usually because they don’t want to be stopped
Not necessarily. It may be that they think no-one cares, they don't know who to turn to, they don't feel able to reach out or they don't realise that they need help and that help is out there. I was close to suicidal as a teenager but I didn't reach out because it didn't occur to me that there was anyone that I could reach out to - the only thing that stopped me was being so damn logical that I couldn't think of a foolproof method of doing it.

To be honest, I'm inclined to think the real breach of trust here was the police. There was no need for anyone else at the person's workplace to know what was going on, surely? That was terribly indiscreet.

What am I missing?

Somebody appears to be in immediate danger of death by suicide. "You" (in this case, Mumsnet) hold data on that person which could identify them or their location. You could send all the information you have to the police/appropriate agency, who might be able to get to the person and intervene.

Who, in their right mind, would say "oh well, I can't go ahead and tell the police and potentially save a person's life, because ethically is not the right thing to do"