Urgently need to contact a moderator

If it was a genuine post, it was posted by a person in crisis, who MN posters aren't equipped to help. It's putting the OP who needs genuine RL help, and the well-intentioned posters who reply to them, in a situation where damage can be done. To the OP and/or respondants.

It's not like this is the first time. I can recognise a post like his/hers a mile off now (and contacted MN about this person). Several years ago a troll on here went as far as sending out suicide notes to myself and several others by pm (we had talked between us and sussed by then he was a troll so weren't upset, but could easily have been (the poster even came back a few months later to talk so didn't 'die'). We had told MNHQ our concerns and been ignored and yet the policy still seems wishy washy and inconsistent.

Same thing happened with the thread last year with man and ill wife.

Also, as an example of another reason that I believe such threads should be deleted. So a suicidal poster gets oodles of support. Great. Then a few days later, another suicidal poster posts. This time, due to the time of day of the posting, or because the posters who might reply aren't online, or because their thread slips too far down the 'active' list, nobody replies. When I was suicidal, that would have absolutely seemed to me like confirmation of my worthlessness. That the other person got hundreds of supportive posts, but I'm so shit that no one could be bothered with me. Which is obviously irrational and unfair. I was probably pretty irrational at the time. Which is exactly why there needs to be consistency with how these posts are handled

Duvet Over "Also, the emotional hooks that he threw out that were the key to me".

Yes, I agree with this. He was talking about having reached out to a couple of friends who didn't offer himsupport and (paraphrasing here) wondering how they'd feel 'after'. And how he kept picturing his ex sobbing by his grave.

If it was a genuine post, it was posted by a person in crisis, who MN posters aren't equipped to help. It's putting the OP who needs genuine RL help, and the well-intentioned posters who reply to them, in a situation where damage can be done. To the OP and/or respondants.

If it was posted by a troll, it's allowing posters who reply to be manipulated by somebody with ill intentions.

Either way, it's also open to leaving a thread to be used by the emotional vampires who thrive on other people's drama, usually not caring if it's real or not. Throwing out trite 'helpful' statements in order to keep their 'in' on the thread.

Well, this has been an interesting read. I didn't see the original thread so only have the information that I've seen here on this thread, but I think we need to hear more from MNHQ.

Oh and how does calling the police on the assumption that it’s a safeguarding issue and therefore potentially identifying someone fit against mn hq’s Policy of deleting threads on request because they could be outing/identifying?

And I wonder if the daily mail have got hold of this yet.... let’s hope so eh?

This is a serious, serious failing on mn hq’s Part. Support my arse.

Well, let this be a warning to anyone who feels vulnerable and requires support here. Not the suicidal, but anyone who e.g. posts that they’re in a violent relationship, he’s still in the house, there are small children, safeguarding issue right there. Anyone who posts that they lost it with their kids as a one off.... safeguarding issue right there. Anyone who has an abusive ex who could sign up as them and post that they want to harm the kids. Safeguarding issue right there.

In short, only post on AIBU because everything else puts you at risk of being reported to the authorities, although one can only hope that the authorities will get fed up of it pretty quickly.

I just don’t understand what happened here.

Mnhq decided the poster was suicidal and called the police. Since this has been confirmed by them it raises the serious question of why left his thread to stand even though their own policy says to delete them.

NoCauseRebel. Also, the emotional hooks that he threw out that were the key to me. Can't remember his/her words, but something along the lines of 'you'll never know what the outcome will be' etc.

I don't doubt he/she has MH problems of some sort.

@MNHQ can someone come and confirm why you broke protocol, please?

Why was the thread not deleted? Is this a Night Watch issue or something worse?

I have had an email from mnhq confirming they did call the police.

I am deeply disappointed by this.

I suppose the only good thing if this is s change in policy is that suicide trolls, domestic violence victim trolls and any other trolls who claim their life is at risk wont dare come here again because the police will turn up the next day. It will put off genuine people in need of support though.

No mn hq absolutely did not handle it well. Handling it well would have been to remove the post and to speak to the poster off board about where to get professional help. Given he was so keen to speak to individual users off board he would presumably have been open to that?

And. You really cannot know if it was a real post. Years and years of trolls on mn just go to show that there is absolutely no way of knowing

Its really tricky and I totally get your point PurpleDaisies but it really did come across as a real post and to me if it was my relative going through that and not being able to speak to me I would want someone to help if they had ways of doing it.

I thought mumsnet handled the situation really well they were monitoring the thread the whole time and giving advice for both the male poster and the other people commenting.

They always do come across as real posters. That means nothing at all. If it was a real poster, the advice from mental health professionals and charities is that the threads are deleted. Why was this one left to stand and the police called if mnhq thought it was a real person? It doesn’t make sense.

The other people commenting were not mental health professionals and could easily have made the situation worse. I dread to think what was going on via pm.

Its really tricky and I totally get your point @PurpleDaisies but it really did come across as a real post and to me if it was my relative going through that and not being able to speak to me I would want someone to help if they had ways of doing it.

I thought mumsnet handled the situation really well they were monitering the thread the whole time and giving advice for both the male poster and the other people commenting.

it’s the fact that some users do post here seeking support, and if those users feel that they will be reported to the police for doing so in any number of circumstances they might want to reconsider.

Absolutely agree. If true, this has seriously made me seriously consider whether I want to be part of this site.

You do all realise that MN can’t “send the police”

They’ll just show them what concerned them and the police decide what they think the appropriate course of action is...

NunoGoncalves but if mn did contact the police then what was it about this poster which set him aside from the other posters who threaten suicide here and whose threads are deleted?

There have been multiple discussions about this in the past,and on multiple occasions mn have confirmed that they will delete threads and signpost the OP’s to professional resources. if Michael or whatever his name is has taken it upon himself to contact the police is that something which has now been agreed and has been universally understood by all of mn hq in which case I think that it’s only fair that users are told that suicide posts and others with safeguarding concerns i.e. posters posting about concerns for the welfare of a child/that they are being abused by a partner/anything else which might prompt someone to consider it a safeguarding concern run the risk of being reported to the police so they can decide whether or not to seek support here?

I have been posting here now for around fifteen years and this is a first. So if something has changed regardless of whether it’s in the terms, I do think that it’s fair that users be told so they can make more informed decisions in future.

The data is neither here or there fwiw, it’s the fact that some users do post here seeking support, and if those users feel that they will be reported to the police for doing so in any number of circumstances they might want to reconsider. And I’m not just talking about suicidal posts which as I’ve said above should IMO be deleted anyway.

I think I read that MichaelMNHQ confirmed that they’d contacted police on the now deleted thread

Mnhq could you comment on this?

It was on the other deleted thread @HarperIsBazaar

We understand 'compelling safeguarding considerations' to mean credible evidence of imminent risk of serious harm"

What counts as that? This forum is full of trolls and attention seekers. MNHQ regularly post that they can’t guarantee who a poster is or what they say is true.

Did mumsnet confirm it was the who contacted the police on the deleted thread? It’s just so hard to believe.

I don't see the point of speculating whether the OP was genuine or not. It hardly matters now does it? The T&Cs that we all agree to when we sign up state

"If there are compelling safeguarding considerations, we may share your data with public authorities without your permission. We understand 'compelling safeguarding considerations' to mean credible evidence of imminent risk of serious harm"

The OP was deemed as representing a compelling risk of serious harm to himself and so mumsnet notified the authorities. If he was a troll, fine, it's done with, if he was real, hopefully now he gets the help he needs.

He said he came on to the site because he was googling and found a post related to it, he went on to apologise for being on here if he shouldnt be. He also didnt claim it was mumsnet he thought someone had recognised him on here.
Mumsnet confirmed it was them.

Very different circumstances, mother, because you were not dealing with anonymous users on a huge internet site.