Shocked at some MN responses

I'm not a new poster but I agree with the OP.
I wonder at the people who post nastily, without any provocation. Are they like that in real life too? Do people try to avoid them in real lifeso they come here instead?

Unfortunately, a deleted post does not really make up for the hurt a nasty reponse can cause. Once read, the damage is done (which is, of course, what the person who posted it meant to happen). For that reason, i think i've only reported one post in 10 years.

I would rather have the vitriol of MN than the faux "my kids are my life" twee huns on the other site.

This board - Site Stuff - is really fur MNHQ problems that need fixing ... issues with moderation, or weirdtechy stuff, or ideas fir MNHQ to improve on.

What are they supposed to do about the fact that some people in the internet don’t respond to an OP in a sanitised and nice fashion? Practically speaking, what does this thread achieve?

I’m sure MNHQ would love suggestions on how to stop individuals being ... individual

I know what you mean @Welshmum16, some posters were extremely rude about my ironed dish cloths. slovenly harridans

Drat - I wrote and answer, and the iPad ate it:

It's the old paradigm of nrew poster telling all and sundry that they,re all bitches. This thread does crop up frequently.

The bottom line is that if you do not like the site, you'll naturally wander way from it and try out others until you ind one where you. do feel at home.

Or if you stay, you'll adapt to the MN norm of taking things up on the thread in question. And it might help if you were aware that there was a misogynistic troll who used to decry women posting in ways that weren't 'nice' enough, and his legacy is why threads such as this one often get short shrift.

So do remember that women do not have to be nice all the time, swearing is permitted (but not actually mandatory yet), that some people might have only a passing interest in a thread, others may care deeply, some might be very serious, some might be teasing, all see the world a bit differently to you, and one of the strengths of MN is the number of posters who will post advice that OP needs to hear, not just what she thinks she wants.

This broadness is a great strength of MN and part of the ethos. But if the site is not one where you feel 'right', keep looking until you find the one where you feel at home.

I have to say that I agree with Welshmum16 in that some people should not have been rude in the first place. I think that is the point and it is good to point it out.
I don't see a problem with pointing this out.
Welshmum16 : good for you to report such posts.

Have you wondered over from Netmums by mistake?

I am a former Netmummy, and since joining this site I haven’t been back there.

OP I do agree with you, there are some horrible human beings on this site.

Many users have been here for years, what the hell gives you the right to tell us how to post?!

YOU are the newbie, go to netmums if you want fluff and unicorns.

I fucking love this nest of vipers. They tell me what I need to hear, and they get shit done. If I wanted lavender-scented smoke blown up my arse, I'd go back to Netmums.

Extremely nasty or goady posts are usually just trolls looking for a fight. You get them on all sites, not just MN. You can either ignore or report.
The vast majority of MNers are intelligent, thoughtful and well informed, often with specialist knowledge in professional fields such as law, medicine, social work, science, etc. They give tremendous emotional support and wise counsel to women going through some appalling crises such as domestic violence.
If you dislike the site, you are feee to leave. Or you can stay and participate in the free speech and robust discussion. Your call!

Welshmum16 I have reported a couple and they have been deleted.

Right, so.... what's the problem? post was reported and removed

As per previous posters, personal attacks are not allowed, troll hunting is not allowed (as could be personal attack)

Also sometimes threads have a flow of lots of unreasonable posts then the measured posts pages later.

Then these are not your people.

I just joined a nut/peanut anaphylaxis group in light of the recent epipen shortage and after about three days I realised that it was not for me. At all. So I left.

What I am saying is why do some feel they need to personally attack the op and put a nasty comment on often not even to do with the op

That’s a People On The Internet problem not a MN problem.

You are obviously new to the internet as well as to Mumsnet, if you are shocked by what is posted here.

Or you are under 10.

To be fair you get some people who post for advice or opinion when what they really want is people to validate them. In this case any post that disagrees with them is 'nasty.

Lots of people do seek validation and then get upset when they’re called out on their behaviour. It’s definitely not a Hugs Shug site. Very good at giving good advice though, often by women who are highly qualified in the field in question.

My dad says, 'If you don't like the music, leave the band.'

Good luck.

Some posts are just rude and not called for, surely if you have nothing constructive to say don't post a response.

You aren't the thread police. As long as it is within MNHQ guidelines.

Quite osten rude and nasty = you don't agree with me.

Truly rude posters are usually called out on their behaviour on threads.

If you do stick around you will find a wealth of different posting stlyes, also support, kindness, understanding, aswell as straight talking, non Molly coddeling opinions.

It’s more nuanced sometimes. People apologise, people explain that they misunderstood. Some people just write in a particular way. Also you have no idea if a poster is who they claim to be.
In the recent past you would know the names of certain posters and look forward to their posts.

I have seen some personal attacks to op

Report button is there to use - it’s not pre-moderated so posters need to report personal attacks and MNHQ will take a look.

Some posts are just rude and not called for,

One persons rude is anothers honest opinion.
What would offend some will not offend all.

If you think a post is offensive or beliw the belt report it. Its much easier than asking the whole site to adhere to your idea of rude/not called for.

To be fair you get some people who post for advice or opinion when what they really want is people to validate them. In this case any post that disagrees with them is 'nasty'

Its worth putting up with the horrible obnoxious posts as there are some lovely ones and some lovely people.