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Original poster

For a slight shift in tone....

37 replies

Connebert · 03/11/2018 06:36

Dear MNHQ

Would it be possible to do an experiment and deactivate AIBU (and possibly Relationships), just for a couple of days? Often, once you hide these topics, there isn‘t much left, and the effect they give is an overall negative atmosphere. (I don‘t mean the threads in Relationships which constructively help in difficult situations, obviously).

I wonder if things would be discussed in a different tone if the starting point were different, and possibly a wider range of topics would be used, too. You influence and attract such a lot of members and it would be really interesting to see if the focus could shift a little bit to bring out the best in people.

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SpecialLittlePrince · 03/11/2018 09:27

Fuck me the 'oh are you saying women have to be nice' trope is so fucking boring now. There's a middle ground between nice and being a complete cunt.

Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 09:24

The other change I once suggested is that the weightloss threads really belong in the Health section, to remove the stigma, focus on what it‘s really about and to hopefully stop the nastiness there too.

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ferrier · 03/11/2018 09:21

AIBU started as a board for genuinely undecided people and the responses were pretty much helpful. Now it seems to attract a large number of goady and belligerent posters.

And is there something wrong with questioning aspects of the site? Isn't that exactly what site stuff is for? Hmm

Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 09:20

sorry, my keyboard meant „it‘s so easy to miss“

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Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 09:20

Or we could have a new „Round-Up“ with the focus on the variety of topics we discuss rather than on the wit, although that was also great fun to read. It‘s so das to miss a real gem of a thread. In fact, I would offer to do that for free.

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Wednesdaypig · 03/11/2018 09:16

We could have a 'latest' option that showed the latest reply on every board with a time and date stamp. Might be useful if 'active' is boring also would highlight boards that could be dropped if the latest was e.g 01/01/15!

Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 09:13

And a really good constructive idea has already come out of it, a much better one then the idea of deactivating topics, even just to see what happens...

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Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 09:12

Not whinging at all. Just throwing out a suggestion for debate.

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gamerchick · 03/11/2018 09:11

This is the second thread this morning I've read about whinging about something on here they want to change.

If you want something done a certain way then you can always set up your own place to do it on.

Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 09:10

Now that is a great idea.

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CottonTailRabbit · 03/11/2018 09:09

That said, I spend a lot of time on other boards. There's some great stuff there. I'd like to see more of it promoted by the editorial team.

Active and Trending are great. I'd also like to see another list that is more about highlighting some interesting but lower traffic threads. That would be more work for MNHQ. A way for people to vote a thread into the interesting backwater list could help.

CottonTailRabbit · 03/11/2018 09:04

There's value in both the blunt opinion and the deeper debate. MN provides both.

I object to your suggestion that MN should make it harder for women to access the blunt parts of MN.

The idea that women bluntly stating their opinions on AIBU is the same as being a gratuitously insulting mob that should be damped down sits wrongly with me too.

I don't see it as a crazed mob at all and so it seems to me that pleas to get rid of it smack of We must show these uncouth women how to be nice for their own protection and education.

I fundamentally disagree with requests to shut down or hide women speaking bluntly.

Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 09:03

Just looked at the thread you linked, Cotton. No, that‘s something else entirely and I‘ll be reading that.

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Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 09:00

Exactly what I‘m trying to say, Witch. Also the constant focus on one‘s petty side which is encouraged, perhaps even on oneself, and on „getting one over“ on family members, etc. I can‘t help thinking that that‘s all dreadfully unhealthy.

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witchmountain · 03/11/2018 08:56

I don’t disagree with the sentiment of what you’re saying Cotton and I think the Beryl thread is useful.

But to be clear, I’m not ‘troubled’ by bluntly stated opinions on AIBU or the lack of consensus - if anything that’s one of its redeeming features. I’m troubled by the need of so many women to ‘poll’ to check their thoughts or feelings or actions are ok, but I wouldn’t stop them doing it. I’m troubled by the compulsion to get drawn into reading pages and pages of opinions about petty situations.

I don’t think the OP has used the word blunt. For me there is a difference between being blunt and nasty. When the OP here says unpleasant I took it to mean the latter.

Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 08:53

And I think it‘s been a self-perpetuating and self-intensifying phenomenon, FuckYouChris (another great name), almost as if, well, bad behaviour has been legitimised so people let themselves go. Although I agree to some extent with your point.

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Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 08:50

CottonTailRabbit, I love your name 👌No, that isn‘t what I mean. I mean what Witch and Spamfritters have said. I‘m just not very eloquent.

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Spamfrittersforeveryone · 03/11/2018 08:47

I like the idea. I think AIBU brings out the worst in all of us, me included.
It’s nothing to do with conditioning women to be nice ffs. But spending less time hurling gratuitous insults and judgement at each other and more time using our intellect and power to discuss, disagree well and discover.

CottonTailRabbit · 03/11/2018 08:42

Oh dear. Are some women coming out with forceful views? Are loads of other women then coming along to read the opinionated womens' bluntly stated opinions? Horrors. Shut them down. Ladies must be nice. Ladies must seek consensus. Ladies must be conciliatory.

I think you need to have a word with your inner Beryl

I understand that you are troubled by women being fierce and giving no fucks about being nice. You want more nice. OK. The answer is not for MN to censor and restrict the other women. The answer is for you to hide the topics that trouble you.

witchmountain · 03/11/2018 08:41

I agree with Connebert’s suggestion to look at things you don’t know anything about. I’d extend it to looking at things you don’t think you’re interested in. Easy and fascinating way to broaden your mind!

Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 08:33

There are also theads which give sensitive, kind, encouraging, heartfelt and intelligent advice to the kinds of problems which are often treated unpleasantly in AIBU, etc. Without the sensationalism.

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Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 08:31

I don‘t want to shut down anything - just have a little experiment.

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Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 08:30

No, Starzig. I think MN would vastly improve peoples‘ days if the focus was different. It‘s so easy to get sucked into the petty crap and so easy to miss out on loads of wonderful stuff at the moment.

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Original poster
Connebert · 03/11/2018 08:28

Windy, I recommend (apart from witch‘s excellent proposition) almost anything else, except, possibly Chat, but most especially topics you don‘t know anything about! A jolly good exploration, in fact. Possibly starting with the book topic. Or music. Or In the news. The „people living abroad“ topic can be fascinating. Go back a few years and you can be sucked into loads of interesting things!

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starzig · 03/11/2018 08:18

So you want to shut down the popular board to dilute everything down? ConfusedConfused