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Original poster

Why?!

35 replies

BlancheM · 25/10/2018 22:04

Why don't you allow threads full of support and empathy? Why take away someone's lifeline when it was the only safe place they felt they could talk? What harm was there in it?

OP posts:
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Original poster
BlancheM · 26/10/2018 00:36

Oh, well you came on with a very vague post so I asked you about it.
Sorry for the upset.

OP posts:
Budgieinaberet · 25/10/2018 23:55

Your post of 23.28

Original poster
BlancheM · 25/10/2018 23:50

Same.

Where did I insult you?

OP posts:
Budgieinaberet · 25/10/2018 23:47

For most of my adult life I have been an advocate for a particular person with MH problems, so please don't insult me.
I have observed what MN do, and I think they are doing it right.

Original poster
BlancheM · 25/10/2018 23:45

Thank you for explaining, Lougle. It's a tough one because I find it quite infantilising, as responsible, adult internet users we should know that we aren't directly responsible for someone else taking their own life nor give too much of ourselves emotionally. I suppose not everyone is capable of judging for themselves. It's a shame that there isn't a way of just deleting the trolls/unhelpful posters.
The Samaritans have their place as a listening ear.
I'm so, so glad to read that MN offer some sort of help behind the scenes. That's all I could hope for, really. From the deletion message, I thought it was just a 'nope, can't help here, that's it' which is why I was cross.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:36

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/3091520-suicide-threat-distressed-poster?pg=7&order=

There’s an explanation of the Mumsnet policy on p8 of this thread

Lougle · 25/10/2018 23:36

They've consulted with The Samaritans, I believe.

Lougle · 25/10/2018 23:35

They have to consider the damage the thread can do, not only to the OP but to other posters who get drawn into the thread, giving "support" and 'lurkers' who may not be posting but may be watching the thread and may be just as vulnerable. The impact of a thread could be huge and it's irresponsible to allow a live (potential) suicide thread to continue. Nobody knows who people behind keyboards are. It's not fair to posters to have the responsibility for talking down actively suicidal posters. MNHQ have had professional advice to signpost and delete such threads. I'm pretty certain they make off-board contact with the OP, also.

PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:34

So it's impossible to close a thread and stop comments after a certain time? I don't think so.

You’ve obviously never been on when a very disturbing thread has stood for hours because it’s the middle of the night.

FissionChips · 25/10/2018 23:33

It’s not possible to moderate those threads effectively, the mods would have to be able to approve a post before its allowed on the thread. Then you also have the issue of all that responsibility put onto a mod who isn’t a trained mental health professional.

Original poster
BlancheM · 25/10/2018 23:31

So it's impossible to close a thread and stop comments after a certain time? I don't think so.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:30

So the threads could be moderated.

Not possible. It would require expert moderators available to respond 24hrs a day.

Original poster
BlancheM · 25/10/2018 23:30

Which experts?

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PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:30

If something was triggering then I would understand but that would be perceived as a terrible rejection by a suicidal person.

And yet that’s exactly what’s recommended by experts in mental health.

Original poster
BlancheM · 25/10/2018 23:29

So the threads could be moderated.

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PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:29

How is the policy clear if MN don't engage with questions like mine?

They do.

There have befm many threads like this after a suicide thread goes.

PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:28

All it could take is one nasty comment from a poster and that person could be pushed over the edge.

It’s sometimes not even nasty posts. The “think of your children who love and need you” ones can be just as harmful.

Original poster
BlancheM · 25/10/2018 23:28

Budgie what's with all the cloak and daggers?
How is the policy clear if MN don't engage with questions like mine?
If there's a good reason, what is it?
Why are you commenting if you can't say anything about it?

There should be no need for secrecy around mental health. If something was triggering then I would understand but that would be perceived as a terrible rejection by a suicidal person.

OP posts:
FissionChips · 25/10/2018 23:27

All it could take is one nasty comment from a poster and that person could be pushed over the edge.
People in crisis need professional help.

PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:26

If anything, my question to Mumsnet HQ would be to explain why they edited out the suicide plan instead of deleting the thread straight away as they usually do. I wonder if it was a new mod.

They don’t have to explain. They’ve sought expert advice here. It’s too inportant an issue to leave it to chance that kind mumsnetters are around and not trolls egging someone on to hurt themselves.

PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:23

I was on that thread.

Original poster
BlancheM · 25/10/2018 23:22

You clearly weren't on this thread in particular. It was full of posts encouraging her to get help, in different ways, in real life. They were reassuring her that she was ok to seek that real life help.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:21

I agree that it seems harsh, but it’s for very good reasons. It shouldn’t be changed.

Budgieinaberet · 25/10/2018 23:21

But you don't know what MNHQ have done with regards to the woman.

And there is a very good reason they don't give answers to questions like yours

PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2018 23:20

I can't see how pulling someone's call for help out of their clutches after they've taken that brave and probably only step, is helpful to the person posting, no.

Do you think MNHQ made that decision on their own out of spite? This is on the advice of mental health professionals and charities.

Unfortunately, well meaning mumsnetters aren’t qualified to deal with actively suicidal posters and may well inadvertently make things worse. The number one thing someone in that situation needs is real life help and threads on here can get in the way of that.

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