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Original poster

@ ing people

88 replies

Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 07:01

Hi mnhq I wonder if you could tell me what your view is on @‘ing people if you’ve been asked not to?

I have had it happen on a thread and it’s made me feel really quite annoyed. I asked the person to stop and not do it and they responded with a “you can’t tell people what to do”

I can appreciate that POV, but it seems contradictory to me given the rules around being polite and esoecially given the rules in FWR that have recently been implemented.

Could you please confirm what the official MNHQ stance is on this? Ie on continuing to @ someone after they have asked you yo stop?

Thanks

(I have disabled the emails but that doesn’t stop the person continuing to @ me which I really dislike. I can’t explain why I don’t like being @‘ed I just don’t. It feels aggressive and hectoring and bullying. I don’t expect anyone else feels the same but I do. )

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:28

So what’s the difference between me asking not to be @ and that being ignored and the rules around fwr and preferred pronouns? Why is one delete worthy and bannable and this not?

OP posts:
Yourenotericlove · 02/10/2018 10:26

On the other thread you didn't complain about the other posters who @ you, just the one that you were having a disagreement with so it does seem like it's just a personal issue and I don't see why MNHQ should have to do anything.

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:25

I’m just asking for hq opinion. I’m not whining. I’m asking esoecially in the light of the rules On FWR.

I’m happy to abide by whatever hq say.

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 02/10/2018 10:23

Ooh look - a thread whining that MN isn't exactly how one or two people want it and want it changed so it is. Haven't had one of these for, what, 24 hours?

🙄

Yourenotericlove · 02/10/2018 10:22

Having read the thread, it's not really about the @ is it?

Somerville · 02/10/2018 10:21

Right. Well it’s illogical for you to feel that way. Which is fine to a point - we’re all illogical sometimes. But I don’t think it’s the problem of the person you’re conversing with when you’re being illogical - it’s your own.

KathDayKnight50 · 02/10/2018 10:20

I suppose a prolific longterm poster could have trouble remembering who does/who doesn't want to be tagged/bolded/referred to in any way. They'd need to keep a list handy of everyone's preferences. Could get confusing?

InWomensProtection · 02/10/2018 10:19

Oh when did this become a bad thing to do as I remember it was bit hit when first came about.

misses point

valentina01 · 02/10/2018 10:19

@Blackoutblinds this is crazy, just ignore it. You've already disabled email notifications. How is it reasonable to expect MNHQ to make a change to a useful and commonplace tool just because one user doesn't like it for a reason they can't even articulate?

NotUmbongoUnchained · 02/10/2018 10:19

Yes of course you are. Sometimes things in life annoy you and you just have to deal with it. It’s a tiny little @ sign. I can’t stand people eating but I can’t ask people to stop doing it.

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:16

Am I though if I’ve asked them not to and they continue to do it anyway?

OP posts:
NotUmbongoUnchained · 02/10/2018 10:15

If you’ve disabled the email alerts then it literally makes no difference if they @ you or bold you. You’re just being a dick about it.

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:14

I don’t know why it annoys me. It just does. I hate it on Facebook too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:14

To reiterate. I don’t have an issue with someone saying

blackoutblinds blah blah

Or even

blackoutblinds blah blah

It’s nit at all to stop them posting on the thread altogether.

I just hate hate hate

@blackoutblinds

OP posts:
Somerville · 02/10/2018 10:13

I think it could be interpreted as goady for someone to continue to tag a poster who has specifically asked them not to. So on that basis it would be worth reporting it and MNHQ might delete their comment or email them a warning to stop it.

I’m intrigued, though, that it bothers you so much to be tagged, even now you’ve turned off notifications. Surely then it’s just random words they’re typing; it doesn’t affect you at all? Do you feel the same if someone just bolds your name (without commercial at), when referring to you in a thread? What about when someone is just talking about their new black out blinds and it’s not even referring to you?! Or if there was a poster with a very similar username being talked about?

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:12

*Mind being bolded

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:12

The thing is. If the person hasn’t asked you not to, I don’t have an issue. It’s only if you’re asked to stop. I don’t m8 d being bonded, weirdly, I just hate being @‘ed. I don’t know why it just seems aggressive to me.

I know it doesn’t to others but it does to me.

OP posts:
KathDayKnight50 · 02/10/2018 10:08

I've been giving and receiving @s in a fun thread where we were joking with each other!

Roomba · 02/10/2018 10:07

Oh god, I had no idea I was annoying people doing this! I even make a special effort to do it as I saw others using it so assumed it was the correct way to respond to someone!

I very often post on threads then don't go back to them for ages. So if someone responds to what I've said I may not see it if they don't '@' me.

I'll stop doing it now sorry.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 02/10/2018 10:05

I feel like this about tagging on Facebook too.
It's intrusive and disrespectful when you've been asked not to.

JaneJeffer · 02/10/2018 10:03

I know what you mean. I just bold someone's name if I'm replying to a specific person. The @ thing annoys me but I don't know why it does maybe because it's mostly used in an aggressive "you listen to me" way? I disabled the emails when it started happening.

Someone continuing to do it when you asked them not to is definitely aggressive behaviour.

Yourenotericlove · 02/10/2018 10:02

Isn't it a bit like asking someone not to post on a thread or not refer to your NN? I.e no, I don't think MNHQ should be expected to get involved.

KathDayKnight50 · 02/10/2018 09:58

Ah, I see!

It will be interesting to see mnhq's reply.

I suspect there is nothing they can do, if it's not breaking any posting rules.

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 09:55

I have it disabled. That’s not my point.

My point is that I find it rude - I personally do, I know not everyone does - and I wanted to hear from mnhq what their view was on someone who continues to do it after being asked to stop.

OP posts:
KathDayKnight50 · 02/10/2018 09:43

It doesn't bother me/I don't notice it.

It is very common to use @ on other sites. It's not an MN thing. I don't find it rude at all.

Agree with disable/throwaway email address though if you want.

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