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Original poster

Can I please remind all of us that attacking OP on a thread where support is needed is NOT in the spirit of MN?

66 replies

Notreallyarsed · 31/12/2017 13:04

I’ve seen a couple of threads recently where an OP has posted, having a really rough time and just needing a bit of support and some posters seem to take great delight in piling in and saying the most awful things, making OP feel like absolute shite, not offering anything constructive or supportive and just seem to get off on being as vile and brutal as possible.

This is a support site, when someone is experiencing MH problems, DV, abuse, or struggling with problems in their lives, they deserve and need support, advice, constructive criticism (when required) and links to places that can help. NOT to be repeatedly told they shouldn’t be a parent, shouldn’t have had children, should have their kids removed, are a shit person, failing at life and pretty much worthless.

What does that say about you if that’s your reason for living? That you’d actively seek out someone who is struggling and kick them when they’re down?

OP posts:
LineysRumBaba · 31/12/2017 13:39

There are a lot of arseholes in the world, and a lot of them have gravitated to MN in the year especially. It's noticeable.

I don't think the moderation has kept pace.

blueskyinmarch · 31/12/2017 13:32

Having been around MN for a number of year now i have come to the conclusion that some people on here lead perfect lives, with perfect families. They are people who never make a mistake or do something they shouldn't have. These people are often the first to give the OP a good kicking on threads. I often wonder about their lives...?

Appraiser · 31/12/2017 13:31

I’ve definitly noticed a “shift” in the last year of posters saying things before they think. Obviously, once it’s written, black and white, it can’t be retracted.

Several threads I’ve been on and watched even in the last week, have had horrible and unkind comments which are completely unnecessary.

My mums advice to me when I was younger: if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all
Perhaps Mners need reminding of this

Trooperslane2 · 31/12/2017 13:23

I agree - there has been some really nasty stuff recently which left me open mouthed.

To be fair, the rude fuckers are usually taken down by other more reasonable posters, but still.

Keyboard warriors = cowards

Original poster
Notreallyarsed · 31/12/2017 13:22

@thecatfromjapan I couldn’t agree more! Because it’s faceless people think it doesn’t have an impact, but it does. To say things you’d never dream of in RL to someone vulnerable on here just because you can is indefensible.

OP posts:
Gingernaut · 31/12/2017 13:22

If I land on a thread and I find the OP has an apparently surreal, outrageous or simply dim view of a situation, I either back away slowly, or if a possible troll, report to MNHQ for them to take a look at.

If I can't add anything useful, but it's a thread about something that has/will or is affecting me, I put it on my Watch list.

There's no need to lay into someone (and potentially warn trolls they're being deleted soon) and insult someone on the www.

Bored journalists from the national press are watching and all that.

thecatfromjapan · 31/12/2017 13:20

Perhaps it is marginally better than doing some kind of random act of vindictiveness on someone in RL?

No.

Not really. Because if the person you're doing it to on-line is real, it will have a real effect.

Best not to do it at all, really.

Original poster
Notreallyarsed · 31/12/2017 13:19

@expatinscotland it’s not a TAAT, it’s a TANumerousT. I’m not talking about MNHQ admin, I’m talking about posters who deliberately skate just within talk guidelines to hurt people for fun.

Thanks @MsGameandWatching and @ColourCature I’m glad you get it.

OP posts:
thecatfromjapan · 31/12/2017 13:18

I don't know, expat, it's a generalisable point - and one that probably needs repeating ... frequently.

There are a lot of frustrated, frightened, angry people about these days - and MN seems to operate for them just like the stocks in ye old days. You can amble along with your rotten fruit, or your stones, and throw them at the defenceless - with a feeling of righteousness - and instantly feel a little bit more in control of your own car crash life.

ColourCature · 31/12/2017 13:16

This isn’t a thread about a thread though is it? It’s something the op has seen in a few places.

I agree with you, it’s horrible on here sometimes. Just bitter people sitting behind a keyboard taking delight in kicking vulnerable people down.

MsGameandWatching · 31/12/2017 13:15

Couldn’t agree more.

The spite and rabid need to lay into clearly struggling people enrages me at times.

expatinscotland · 31/12/2017 13:13

TAAT also not in the spirit of MN. Why not contact HQ directly with your concerns?

Original poster
Notreallyarsed · 31/12/2017 13:13

And that’s the problem. The fact that these people can mess with someone’s life for their own amusement with no consequences. There are incredible threads on here, supportive, empathetic, where real friendships are forged. There are threads which in real terms change people’s lives for the better and offer support to do that.

OP posts:
AmysTiara · 31/12/2017 13:09

Looking at most threads, I'd say kicking someone who's down is exactly what MN is about.

Original poster
Notreallyarsed · 31/12/2017 13:08

This should be a safe place for people struggling

You’ve just summed up in one sentence what I couldn’t in an entire post. This is spot on, absolutely what I was trying (and failing) to say.

OP posts:
DeloresJaneUmbridge · 31/12/2017 13:07

Totally agree with you...some nasty people here hiding behind their keyboards saying things they wouldn't dare say face to face.

This should be a safe place for people struggling.