Can I please remind all of us that attacking OP on a thread where support is needed is NOT in the spirit of MN?

I don't think there are any protected spaces exactly, but some long-running threads effectively have house rules about acknowledging other posters, levels of swearing, unconditional support etc. Then some specific topics tend to attract sympathetic, tactful comment (e.g. miscarriage or bereavement) and at the other end of the spectrum AIBU has become a free-for-all.

I'm sure AIBU used to have a warning at the top of each page saying that it was a robust space. Does it still?

I think lots of people have the post- Christmas arse tbh. Seeing it in RL too.

Is this about Monkeyfacegrace?

x-posted with Purple

I think a 'protected support' board would

1. Rapidly turn into troll central
2. Send the message that all other boards are a free for all to put the boot in as much as they like.

Much better to report and also call them out on the thread.

I agree that people should try to be empathetic and kind.

However; this is not and never has been and should not be expected to be a 'safe space'. It is not. It's an internet forum with millions of users. It isn't a helpline or a MH/DV/whatever support site. It's an anonymous internet forum.

It just isn't safe. The internet is unsafe. This may have been a 'community' of sorts in the past but it hasn't been for a long while now. There are some great people, but also pervs, trolls or just a spectrum of human beings with some nice and some less so.

If you post on the internet, you invite opinion. Yes I'd prefer it if people were nice but you can't expect that on a world wide forum with millions of users and it is naive to think that will happen.

Who would be permitted to post on that, missy?

Mumsnet is troll-central at the moment and very many boards are full of goady-fuckers.

I think MN is a tremendous resource and it's also a nice place to post on a massive variety of subjects but all of that comes with a caveat for taking personal responsibility for yourself so that you're not damaged.

This place isn't moderated in real time, there are no moderators posting generally. Perhaps that would be a good start?

Ok so what would you think about the idea of a protected support board?

How would it be policed? Unfortunately thinking of mumsnet as a “safe space” is never going to be helpful. It’s a public forum where threads often appear in national newspapers. Obviously it would be miles better if posters were kind to each other but it would be wrong to elevate the boards to more than they are.

A protected support board is a good idea, MissyB1.

I was on the thread that you were on this morning OP, and I'd just posted to somebody on there because they were being spiteful and not helpful.

I don't think your posting a thread at large telling people to behave is a) your job (it's MNHQ's) and b) effective.

Why don't you post on the threads in question, to the posters in question? Or do you? Perhaps I'm just not on the threads that you're on so apologies if you actually do this...

Ok so what would you think about the idea of a protected support board?

I agree, OP. Some very unpleasant, meanspirited posters around and they seem to be multiplying.

I report them as being 'not in the spirit' or, for the hit and run ones, 'bitchplopping'. MNHQ remove them more often than not. If I notice a poster who makes a habit of posting this way I report that too.

(I also report LOTS of trolls)

There are no officially protected threads.

It's up to MNHQ - and MNHQ only - to decide what is (or isn't) the spirit of the site.

I have seen what I think is quite a major change to moderation policy/decisions this year. I don't think these changes are for the better, but they are MNHQ's to make. I still like MN well enough, but it's not a community any more.

There are some right keyboard warriors full of nastiness (just so fucking perfect and superior - sometimes can anticipate what bile they will spout just from original post)
Thankfully there's also loads of really decent people.

No, missyB1.

Hmmmm.

I've been very arsey to the OP on at least one thread in the last few days. Got my goat big time. (The thread about DH 'causing' miscarriage , DSIL AND DMIL 's reaction to OP)

If that was wrong of me then I apologise unreservedly.

I must say, though, that it does seem to be a bit of a free for all on MN threads.

But again.... if I have broken rules then huge apologies. I will take more care to keep my frustration in check in future.

I’m still getting to grips with this site but are there “protected” support threads where it’s against the rules to be deliberately unsupportive? Those exist on another parenting site I used to belong to.

MN hasn't been a safe space, ever. It's a wide open, self-moderating (ie largely unmoderated) site.

If you want safer and supportive then you need to look elsewhere. The sense of community on MN is long gone.

I think CF threads are very much a form of 'modern day stocks' and part of the whole AIBU/short, sharp-edged responses thing.

Liney , i think it would help if the mods were encouraged to use the boards themselves and set a tone - under name changes if necessary.

I hate to say it but I think it's a self-perpetuating problem: MN is becoming/has become known for a certain style, and it's attracting an audience that replicate a very debased form of exchange.

The cheery "Nominate your CF thread of the year" thread was a bit of a shock for me. Along with some of the threads nominated.

So, you know, I think we have to entertain the possibility that this notion of MN as some kind of 'safe space' is definitely, truly at variance with the overall vision of the direction of the site. I have to admit, I don't agree with the idea that it is a 'safe space'. It isn't, and I don't think it can be that.

It would, however, be nice if it were broadly supportive.