Suicide threat, distressed poster

It's not even about how qualified we are, imagine for example a suicide thread pulled apart on that ridiculous Reddit forum, and then all the posters over there piled into the suicidal OP, with the knowledge that their impeccable trolldar gave them the right...

But it should be, how do we know people responding to these threads are who they are claiming to be?

No one responding claimed to be anyone.

Probably better than them being on the thread when folk start the inevitable troll hunting

There was none of that, and has not been on any of these threads I’ve seen. As said for me, you will never change my mind that if someone asks for help you should provide it, you can also recommend other routes, but don’t slam your door in their face. I give not one shIt if 99 out of a hundred of them are trolls, I care only about the one who isn’t.

But they can't possibly have a duty of care. What a terrible, terrible responsibility to put on site owners (and community members). None of us is properly qualified to help people who are suicidal.

it felt like people were trying to pass the responsibility of helping me over to someone else

But it should be, how do we know people responding to these threads are who they are claiming to be?

I didn’t see the particular thread, but I don’t think they should be deleted I’m sure the OP knew most repliers weren’t qualified professionals, she just needed an outlet and was shut down. If she’d have opened up to one of her friends or family, they’re probably not qualified professionals either but still able to sometimes give advice, imagine they just got up and walked away from the conversation. That’s probably how she feels

Ok, are mumsnet giving an email address? Do they respond instantly??

Only phoning is instant. Text takes a bit longer and email longer again.

I do think that eventually these threads should be removed but this was taken down too quickly and the deletion message was too curt.

I posted more than one thread in a similar vein over the years. I actually don't think I would have gone through with anything but it was a persistent unwanted thought that engaging with posters on here made me see a future for myself. Took me out of the moment as it were.

Can mnhq reassure us that they have at least tried to get help for this person?

I strongly believe that the "owners" of forums such as this that encourage mutual support have a duty of care towards more vulnerable members of it's community. Cutting them off is simply not fulfilling that care. Maybe use some of the revenue from advertising to employ trained people to intervene in threads such as this. So yes pull the thread but continue to offer trained support until the poster us at least directed elsewhere

When I was suicidal I was so sick of being told to ring the samaritans, it felt like people were trying to pass the responsibility of helping me over to someone else and in the end I didn't find the samaritans helpful (although others might). The best place to look for support is where YOU want it to come from. Real life, mumsnet, the samaritans - anywhere. The choice should be with the person in need.

Someone who is suicidal is not rational by definition

That's not true - plenty of people are very rational.

subjective on whether the response will be to actually call them, or whether it will make it worse

Probably better than them being on the thread when folk start the inevitable troll hunting...

It will have been deleted but with a supportive and helpful message to the OP from mnhq.

Threads threatening suicide should not be left running in chat on Mumsnet. There was a consultation between MN and various mental health charities on this subject a few years ago (because, as you can imagine, this issue has come up a few times over the years) and their advice was to delete and urge the poster to get real life help.

There is no way MN can stop a random poster from popping up and saying something awful like "go on then, no one will miss you" or whatever. A public forum with anyone and everyone able to see every single thread is NOT the place to turn for support in desperate circumstances. And individual Mumsnetters should not be encouraging it by hand-holding. Imo.

Samaritans is anonymous and if you don't want to talk you can email or text

Ok, are mumsnet giving an email address? Do they respond instantly???

And some people take a ghoulish delight in others' misfortune. Rubberneckers.

LEM you've been here long enough to know that MNHQ have taken advice about how to deal with these threads. The policy to delete them was made a few years ago.

We dont know that shes getting help now do we. She could have done anything. I feel the amount of support she had was fab. We may not be experts but some of us have been where she is and at least she knew someone was there. Now no one there at all

Someone who is suicidal is not rational by definition. A message saying sorry we can’t allow these threads call the samaratins is subjective on whether the response will be to actually call them, or whether it will make it worse.

For me, give help where ever you are. Never refuse it.

She turned to a place she felt most able to speak out about how she felt. If she doesn't feel able to turn to 'real life' options, it hasn't helped her to direct her to them and delete the thread that she may have gotten comfort from.

As a mental health nurse I think it’s right these kind of posts are deleted. I would not feel skilled at de escalating suicidal ideation and compulsion over an Internet forum and people trying to do so may delay the poster in seeking professional help. That and the trauma it causes people reading the posts x

thankfully most understand why they can't remain

yes brats thats whats happened

I can understand the worry that it could upset others, or that some of the replies may not be helpful, but surely deleting the thread is also rather unsupportive?? I think the solution would be to hide the thread, and hand it over to an expert (e.g. Samaritans), so that they can contact and keep talking to the OP. I can't see that cutting the person off is the best thing for them :-(.

And sometimes anonymity is better than actually talking to a real person

Samaritans is anonymous and if you don't want to talk you can email or text. And the people responding will have had some sort of training.

Surely once the poster has been sign posted to the appropriate help it is better to delete the thread?

It's right to get rid of those threads. Few if any of us on here are qualified to deal with that and there are too many trolls who would find it hilarious to push whatever buttons they can find.