Please or to access all these features

Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Suicide threat, distressed poster

214 replies

picklemepopcorn · 19/11/2017 21:26

In chat, just posted.

OP posts:
SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 19/11/2017 22:34

This thread is a perfect example of why lay people should not be giving advice such as; “duty of care” which is a legal term and totally inappropriate and not applicable to a social media forum. I have been a suicidal individual before, I nearly died as a result of my attempt, I am not without more than my fair share of mental health experience. Lay people can actually say the wrong thing and make it worse, hence why the professionals tend to do a teensy bit of training on the matter. For those who are genuinely wanting to help and don’t just want to shout the odds, Mental Health First Aid courses are brilliant.

RunningOutOfCharge · 19/11/2017 22:34

pay a psych to intervene? they would likely end up wasting hours with trolling idiots!

FruitCider · 19/11/2017 22:33

Nancy do you not understand the complexities of communicating between face to face and online?

I’m going to bed anyway. I have work tomorrow. Night all x

PurpleDaisies · 19/11/2017 22:33

If your child or partner came to you and said "I'm going to kill myself now" would you give them a number for the Samaritans and then not say a word to them in case you got it wrong?

Can you honestly not see that that’s a totally different situation?

Nancy91 · 19/11/2017 22:32

You don't have to be trained to help a person with mental health problems. If your child or partner came to you and said "I'm going to kill myself now" would you give them a number for the Samaritans and then not say a word to them in case you got it wrong?

Ah mumsnet, the only place you'll be told to ignore the desperate plea of a suicidal mother.

Pineappleundersea · 19/11/2017 22:30

I've said numerous times that there is no such appropriate service. The gaps in services are miles wide. There is nowhere for people to go.

There is nothing i haven't tried in 10 years being bipolar. Now I just stay at home in hell and hope i survive, because it's better than being let down.

Battleax · 19/11/2017 22:30

Biwi that is why they should consider having trained psych professionals on the paid team.

They don't even have 24 moderation.

And how would a psych professional work on the boards, anyway? You'd still have to close the thread and engage one to one. Then what if several people were actively at once? Then none for several days?

Realistically, signposting is the best practice.

JaneEyre70 · 19/11/2017 22:30

I would imagine HQ are trying to keep a line of communication open with the OP. Talking to someone in a deep and troubled mental health crisis isn't something that should be done on a public forum no matter how well intentioned the advice. But it was upsetting to read and little wonder it has provoked such a reaction.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 19/11/2017 22:30

It’s very common for forums to delete these threads to protect the poster. The policy was made in line with leading mental health charities. Some MNers, as usual, think they know better and are just using this as a stick to beat MNHQ. I am finding myself disagreeing with HQ more and more these days but even I can see that this policy is safest for all involved.

There absolutely are resources for suicidal individuals, the Samaritans being the most accessible and well known. MN is troll central at the moment. All that OP needed was a troll starting on them or even just a bog standard twat goading them at their most vulnerable.

FruitCider · 19/11/2017 22:30

* You can really see who has used these services and who hasn't on this thread.*

Being as I’ve been having suicidal ideation for the past 20 years I really don’t think you can make assumptions about who has used services and who hasn’t.

Bluntness100 · 19/11/2017 22:29

Mn can’t entire boundaries, can’t monitor and ensure quality of responses. So actually yes these distressing threads should be deleted

Right. So if they can’t ensure quality they should just slam the door in a suicidal persons face? Just say, hey try them, they won’t resoond via email till tomorrow, and the phone lines might be engaged, but sorry, we can’t help, bye???? For you that’s ok? It’s not for me.

FruitCider · 19/11/2017 22:28

* Because they give a fuck.*

What and you are suggesting that because I’ve said posters in distress should be redirected to the appropriate service that i don’t? That’s a rather large assumption you’ve made there.

Ceto · 19/11/2017 22:28

Then the responses would help them too

Well, no, they don't - due, again, to the fact that most of the responses come from people who simply aren't qualified to deal with such serious issues and may actually make things worse.

CandleWithHair · 19/11/2017 22:28

Given the Samaritans just this week have been advising that any interaction is worthwhile when dealing with potential suicide attempts at railway stations, I fail to see the ‘untrained’ logic here.
Engaging someone in small talk conversation can be enough to get them out of a thought pattern. The Samaritans themselves said this

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/nov/15/commuters-urged-to-make-small-talk-to-help-prevent-railway-suicides

PurpleDaisies · 19/11/2017 22:28

Because it’s better than no one.

Sadly, that’s not necessarily the case. Someone posted “two year olds as such fun” or something similar on the thread. In suicidal posters mind, that becomes “I don’t even find my own two year old fun, I must be even more worthless than I thought”...

People want to help. They often don’t know how and can unwittingly make things worse.

Nancy91 · 19/11/2017 22:28

The Samaritans I spoke to sounded uninterested, had nothing constructive to say and realistically will have forgotten about me within a matter of hours. You can really see who has used these services and who hasn't on this thread.

deckoff · 19/11/2017 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonkeyOaty · 19/11/2017 22:27

If I could be arsed I'd search and link the threads on Site Stuff and HQs explanation of the advice from outside agencies. As Battle and BIWI have said they were long and quite distressing

FruitCider · 19/11/2017 22:27

* If someone told me they were about to commit suicide, I wouldn't say "call the crisis team" and then walk away

If someone told you they had chest pain, would you try and insert a cannula and connect them to a EKG yourself? Or would you advise them to get professional help?

Pineappleundersea · 19/11/2017 22:27

Why are untrained lay people volunteering advice to a suicidal person online

Because they give a fuck. Like a lay person would attempt first aid rather than watch someone bleed to death.

LEMtheoriginal · 19/11/2017 22:27

Biwi that is why they should consider having trained psych professionals on the paid team. Seems like a no brainer to me. Pull the thread and have someone trained to offer support and coax in the right direction.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 19/11/2017 22:26

Mn has no duty of care. Duty of care sits with statutory services not a chat forum
Mn can’t entire boundaries, can’t monitor and ensure quality of responses
So actually yes these distressing threads should be deleted

Battleax · 19/11/2017 22:26

I really do feel that mnet has a duty of care to intervene

It's not an employer or an educational establishment or similar. It's just a website for chatting on.

They have responsibility for the way they run the site but not the existing MH of the users. Suicidal posting is far too big a thing to hold them responsible for.

Bluntness100 · 19/11/2017 22:26

Why are untrained lay people volunteering advice to a suicidal person online

Because it’s better than no one.

StrangeLookingParasite · 19/11/2017 22:25

Gee, better hope I'm never in that poster's position. No Samaritans here.

Swipe left for the next trending thread