Suicide threat, distressed poster

First do no harm sometimes means doing nothing

This sickens me. And with that I shall leave the thread because if someone tells me they are suicidal I will never do nothing.

To look at someone's suicidal thoughts and just think "that's inappropriate to write on here".

It’s not that. It’s about what’s most helpful for them, not that they’ve broken talk guidelines.

Can you not understand that what happened for a relatively short time period on one thread is not the point

Can you not understand that I think when it comes to something thus serious then every thread should be dealt with in isolation?. There should be no one catch all policy?

Pinrapple you're not listening. People's responses are coloured by wha they remember of past disaster threads and what could happen again. It's not indifference, but concern.

Pineapple, it's perfectly clear that that's not what anyone thought, least of all MNHW.

No troll started on them, sure, delete if it happens, but it didn’t. Sure one poster said a two year old was fun, however it was one response in many

Yes, but the thread was taken down quickly, how long would it have taken until the troll hunting starts? And as a PP said the combination of it being really hard to read tone in print, and the OP not being in the best mental state could easily mean that something innocuous could be completely the wrong thing today.

It is not true that any help is better than no help. The person who make above that if they saw someone lying on the street they would try to administer first aid - what about the untrained person who kills a child by performing adult CPR in them, because that's what they've seen on the TV.

First do no harm sometimes means doing nothing.

It must be nice to have the ability to compartmentalise stuff.

To look at someone's suicidal thoughts and just think "that's inappropriate to write on here".

hy don’t you have a chat with the leading MH charities and let them know that you think their advice is bull? It is not just mumsnet, it is an Internet wise policy to protect vulnerable individuals

Then maybe those charities can come on here and tell us how deleting a thread, where everyone said wake your partner, and the poster was interacting, there were no trolls or goading, with “sorry to hear that, we don’t allow these threads, try the Samaritans” is protecting them.

I’d be interested to hear.

Ffs, what is it with this fantasy scenario, no one did that.

Can you not understand that what happened for a relatively short time period on one thread is not the point? The longer one of those threads stays up, the more danger there is of that happening.

Walking away from this now - too upsetting and will no doubt go round in circles. The deletion message was unsympathetic which was my issue.

Sure one poster said a two year old was fun, however it was one response in many,

Yes, many many posters saying to think of her daughter. The trouble is, if you’re acutely suicidal you can think that killing yourself to stol your daughter from having you as their mum is the best and kindest thing to do.

"The poster was responding. When they are responding they are alive. That’s it. When they are responding they are alive. When you stop them responding, then you simoly don’t know."

Or you are keeping the poster awake and agitated, responding to dozens of 'think of your children' posts, when they might have otherwise calmed down a bit and gone to bed.

You don't have to be trained to help a person with mental health problems

That’s the problem, assumption of an ability to fix,sort someone else

No one would honestly say You don't have to be trained to help a person with cardiac problems. They would see the immediacy and signpost to appropriate service

It's all very well saying troll hunters, goady types or just well-meaning people who post something triggering can be deleted - it doesn't stop the suicidal person from reading their posts, does it?

No troll started on them, sure, delete if it happens, but it didn’t

By the time it’s reported, especially at night when most of these threads occur the OP would have read the trolling post and damage is done. Deletions are never immediate.

(And some other people rubbernecking. And some trolls taking notes.)

a public forum when you may get idiots coming on to troll-hunt or goad

Ffs, what is it with this fantasy scenario, no one did that. Did you not read the thread?????? No one goaded, no one troll hunted.and if they do it can be dealt with.

Nancy91 why don’t you have a chat with the leading MH charities and let them know that you think their advice is bull? It is not just mumsnet, it is an Internet wise policy to protect vulnerable individuals. Giving advice face to face is categorically not the same as online!

Ah mumsnet, the only place you'll be told to ignore the desperate plea of a suicidal mother.

That's ridiculous. Not to mention offensive.

The analogy really is someone in cardiac arrest and 100 people of variable training and superstition, elbowing each other out of the way to "try things" from proper CPR, through poultices to self-invented potions.

You don't have to be trained to help a person with mental health problems

The point is that, particularly when you are dealing with a total stranger you cannot see or hear, the untrained person can say something very damaging. And that's even more of a danger on a public forum when you may get idiots coming on to troll-hunt or goad.

No troll started on them, sure, delete if it happens, but it didn’t. Sure one poster said a two year old was fun, however it was one response in many,

The poster was responding. When they are responding they are alive. That’s it. When they are responding they are alive. When you stop them responding, then you simoly don’t know.

Maybe they called the samaratins and they were engaged for an hour.

What then? At least on there the poster was interacting and as such alive.

Untrained Posters on mn aren’t able to differentiate suicidal ideation from suicidal intent, or decide if it can wait til morning or needs an intervention now. Or take a psych and social history to determine risk. Or triage who to respond to first. Emergency care isn’t mumsnet role,it really isn’t

If someone said they had crushing chest pain, posters would advise call 999. They wouldn’t sustain a convo about treatment options and underlying causes. But because we all have a familiarity with mood and emotions it can add to the can fix this of the situation. And that’s a problem. Correct advice is seek professional advice

And in that situation, you’d be seeking trained help ASAP, surely?

I agree that the threads have to come down but surely further support should be offered.

I've just been trained as a first aider at work. I now have a duty of care to provide first aid if something happens at work.

I am grateful for the training because I now feel more confident to help should I encounter a situation in outside life. Although there is no duty of care. Other than being a decent human being.

I'm not a Dr or nurse so would at best be making a ham fisted attempt at helping. The trainer said doing somethi g is always better than dpi g nothing.

Mn make ££££££from this site. We as posters have made mnet what it is so legally there no doubt is no duty of care but as empathetic human beings I would hope there would be a safety net.