Suicide threat, distressed poster

It’s going round in circles and pointless as the policy won’t be changed

And most of us are happy with that

And what about the risks of keeping them up namechange987? It's an incredibly difficult and emotive decision which is why MNHQ took the advice of professionals on their policy.

I started a thread earlier this year when I was on the brink of suicide. It was deleted and MN sent a generic email about getting help elsewhere. In my mental state at that time, the email came across as "you're too fucked up to be on our website and we don't want you upsetting our readers". I cried in response to the email and considered suicide even more strongly as the one avenue I had for support had been taken away. Luckily, a reader sent me a private message and we chatted and she helped a lot.

I understand the reasons for deleting the threads discussed above, but what about the risks of that?

You can say the wrong thing to someone even when talking face to face and they have the benefit of hearing your tone of voice and seeing your facial expression because you have no idea how their brain is processing what you are saying.

It is impossible, as is evidenced here daily, to read tone on a Chat Forum, it is easy for a poster to misinterpret or read something between the lines of the post.

Posters may think they can help or save someone but MNHQ took professional advice on this issue and quite rightly implemented that advice.

The Samaritans I spoke to sounded uninterested, had nothing constructive to say and realistically will have forgotten about me within a matter of hours. You can really see who has used these services and who hasn't on this thread

Totally agree with this. I phoned them once and it was the most frustrating experience. I can honestly say it was of no benefit to me whatsoever.

The Samaritans were total shit when I needed them (might not be for everyone). I ended up in hospital twice after attempts. If I was on MN then, I would have begged for help here.

That makes a lot of sense ubiquity. Some of that had never occurred to me.

runwalk are you thinking of the swedish twins when you say it can be transferred?

Someone who is suicidal immediate intent can be compared to a heart attack if we are talking about posting about it online. Jane posts saying she’s having online and Julie posts that she’s depressed and has X amount of tablets in front of her, You can say the wrong thing to a person with chest pain e.g. “take some gaviscon” and you can say the wrong with to a person who is suicidal. I don’t even know how to give an example because triggers are so individual which is what makes it so difficult. Even professionals can - and do - get it wrong.

So I can see it from both sides.

I feel very torn about this. I have a suicidal relative. The crisis team are useless. The Samaritans often seem to be reading off a script. There is no help in A and E, and sitting for hours and hours with drunk people when you’re in that state, waiting to be seen is intolerable. GPS don’t care and just dole out antidepressants. I actually think talking to a range of people, some of whom have experienced being suicidal and come through it could be enormously helpful. However I also see how traumatic and potentially damaging it could be for both the poster and respondents. It’s very hard to know what’s best.

I agree. The idea that professional help is readily available or even helpful is unfortunately rather a myth. The problem is that some threads could go ok and that's all to the good, but if one went wrong it could be disastrous.

I can see why so many posters think those threads should stand. But on balance I think it is right they are deleted. Because of the reasons stated. Posters though well meaning giving wrong advice, triggers for other people with suicidal thoughts and the problem of trolls. And the Samaritans are there to help people and have more experience.

I think MN were right to delete it.
I read somewhere that suicidal thoughts can be 'catching', (especially among younger people) similar to how an anxious person can, unintentionally make another person feel anxious, especially if that person is already prone to anxious thoughts in the first place.

I've probably explained it very clumsily, but you get the picture.
No doubt MN have guided the OP to the right people.

All I can say is that I have a (quite young, vulnerable) relative who suffers from severe depressive disorder and has been actively suicidal many times.

The thought of that person turning to MN or similar in a crisis makes my blood run cold.

Being suicidal is not the same as having a heart attack. You can't delay a heart attack by speaking to someone. You can't change a heart attack's mind. It is not something with a physical cure.

People signposting people to the Samaritans or nhs teams - I'm just putting it out there that they made me feel worse. The mental health team here is so hard to get through to and they seemed emotionally cold, as they obviously had many other people in crisis that they had to deal with.

Some of the greatest words of support were from forums online and obviously my partner in real life.

Even a thread about wanting to help a suicidal person is met with such hostility on here.

I will continue to try to talk to any poster that reaches out for help. I hope others would do the same for me.

If the OP sees this then please know that I'm thinking of you.

thanks for that link donkey

reiterates what most of mums net think

I wasn’t on MN when I felt desperate enough to call the Samaritans. But the help the Samaritans gave was pretty hopeless. From what I’ve seen on threads responding to people in extremis, I reckon I’d have received far more actual help on here. There are a lot of people who’ve experienced suicidal thoughts, many who are HCPs and a lot of naturally wise people on MN. Of course there are people who respond who are pretty clueless but as say, I didn’t feel my phone call to the Samaritans helped much, if at all.

Bluntness the advice is that the moderators provide the support to encourage the person to seek real life help and to direct to organisations such as; the Samaritans. People on these threads say things like “talk to me, I can help”. Whilst genuine and very kind, it’s not safe for the person who is not well.

As a general comment, the arrogance of some people on here never fails to astound me. They think they know better than those who are trying to keep very vulnerable people safe.

People mean well,but aren’t meeting the poster immediate need they’re meeting their own need to fix someone (for want of a better phrase)
And attempting to fix someone in absence of full information isn’t a fix,it’s a fudge

I feel very torn about this. I have a suicidal relative. The crisis team are useless. The Samaritans often seem to be reading off a script. There is no help in A and E, and sitting for hours and hours with drunk people when you’re in that state, waiting to be seen is intolerable. GPS don’t care and just dole out antidepressants. I actually think talking to a range of people, some of whom have experienced being suicidal and come through it could be enormously helpful. However I also see how traumatic and potentially damaging it could be for both the poster and respondents. It’s very hard to know what’s best.

As someone who has posted a fairly desperate thread, they did keep my post up, however they also emailed me and I think PMd me as well. So to their credit, it didn't just stop

a short thread here

People weren’t all saying to wake the husband or call the crisis team. They were encouraging her to chat to them as if they could fix her.

But there has to be an overall policy, Bluntness. It's all very well saying no one was troll hunting or goading on that thread during the time it was up, but if the thread's left up, that can and does happen at any time. It's been pointed out that deletions never happen instantaneously, and it could be massively damaging not only to that person but others as well.