I'm not spooky I'm a Zombie Vampire Hedgehog, my Mum says I'm one of a kind 
I'm getting a new cloak for our Halloween photo. My Dad is a Zombie Hedgehog, my Mum is a Vampire Hedgehog, thus I'm a Zombie Vampire Hedgehog.
I bet you're wondering what's the worst part of being a ZVH, well it's having to brush my fangs with Vampire Sparkling Toothpaste so they really show when I smile. The best part is Mum is insistent that as our life span is thousands of years, every year I have a new cloak.
As I'm only 353 years old, I'm still classed as a youngster. I have 33 children ranging from 3 to 33 years old in age. We usually start having babies at 300 so we get to live our lives, tour the world, get to do everything we want. My husband is also a ZVH, he comes from the greatest clan ever known to man.
If I was human I'd be like Princess Kate, ironically my name is Catherine Countbatten Windsor. One day I'll sit on the throne to rule all the creatures of the night. I bet you're wondering why ZVH, well there was a war, so long ago I can't recall. We were doing our centennial hibernation that lasts a decade, it just so turned out that when we woke, we were the biggest clan around, so dethroning the Monster Mummy Moles was easy, as they're frightened of our spikles. It is reported in the big battle of 666 a Mummified Mole Monarch caught a loose bandage on a passing Zombie Hedgehog, who wasn't even fighting, ironically he took the throne, we've ruled ever since.
It's our 350th year of being in charge. Mighty celebrations are being held, especially November 5th when Ghoulish Guido Fangs tried to blow up parliament. For Christmas we're gifting every family a hamper from Frighten & Mwahahaha's. (Word has it you human folk have a Fortnum & Mason's which is the human branch, selling the best of the best)
Best go brush my teeth as they need to sparkle for this portrait, it's the basis for the creepy Christmas card we send. Everyone's in a splutter as I'm due a baby ZVH in April, they wonder why when we've got an heir and 32 spares, but the buzz of paparazzi outside Bloody Mary's is somewhat electric, I saw a dress and thought it would be ideal for those steps, so we just had to as it brightens up the nation and has the world glued waiting to see our latest creation.
Hotheaded Harold (quite unfortunate name, but he was quite a character in his 200's - guffaw) has a ghoulfriend, I had to get the attention away and back to us. I know this Christmas there may be word of wedlock, seriously our latest arrival, even though it's making me feel ghastly will steal all the eyes for the show.