Word of advice to MNHQ #2

I I know for a fact that people where I live talk about me (I have a fairly exposed public job and live where I work. People, well, chat ) and I honestly don't really care.
I mean I'd rather they said nice things about me, obviously, I am not made of stone. But I know that not everything I say or do will alway please everybody all of the time. And, of course, being human and all, I make mistakes in which case people have every right to be unhappy and talk about it.
Hey ho.
It's human nature.
And that is RL - an anonymous internet forum? Pfffft.

I do believe that what posters say across different forums should not be held against them. Why even go and look??!
I find it hard to understand why MNHQ were even interested tbh.

christina

"How on earth can activities elsewhere on the Internet lead to banning (?) here?"

This for me is the crux of the issue, the intentional blurring of anonymous identities (which MN built its empire on) to RL identification and perceived personal offence. Ive often wondered why Justine and MN mods have happily 'outed' themselves, but the only conclusion Ive ever come to is one of personal promotion and personal publicity, which of course then becomes hugely significant, if the publicity is negative.

When you approach this as Justine has, a personal attack on her and MN mods, the whole thing gets skewed. Indeed, if Justine were only known as 'MNModBrenda', or Katherine were only known as MNModSnoopy', then the whole premise of what Justine has been attempting to do here in this thread, disappears. It would be irrelevant (except to the hardened few) who owned a website or forum. The debate would remain well within the issues of inconsistant moderation guidelines, and the website owners would issue the standard statement that no views expressed reflect the owners opinions.

As it is, in jumping wholly incorrectly on the 'personal offence' bandwagon (and clearly the excessive waste of time policing the internet for other personally offensive items) all thats been shown here is the desire to protect the personal status of Justine and MNHQ, not the sites members. Which brings me full circle as to the whole motivation for publicly outing themselves in the first place.

In short, if you publicly out yourself on any viewpoint, bad publicity is going to happen. You cant then blame the bad publicity for the personal attacks, and quite simply, policing the internet to shut down those opposing views is censorship.

Either MN is an open forum for all, (within guidelines), or its a selective political and social view headed up by very public owners and moderators wishing to reflect their personal views. It cant be both.

Piglet, truthfully, if I was being talked about on there I'd sign up and fight my corner or walk away as so what if some losers think they know me?
It would depend on what mood I was in and how much time I had too
They may be talking about me on there, I haven't extensively searched nor can I be bothered to.

I went on a site from here a few years back, male oriented, to argue the toss. Got a shitload of abuse and threats to doxx me. I couldn't change that or stop them doing it so I just.....walked away

Reddit is not the issue of the problems here.
Reddit is what it is.
I don't like it, but many do
Frankly, I don't give two hoots about being discussed over there, or not, or what may be said about me because I don't go there
I'm sure Reddit users don't know that I am alive so is a non-issue

Oh another thing is that MNers are going over there, unaware they themselves have been bitched about - and they get welcomed with open arms! (It tickles me that I was called a hypocrite on there, pot kettle and all that).

Good point. If you have a different name on both sites. No way of knowing.

Oh another thing is that MNers are going over there, unaware they themselves have been bitched about - and they get welcomed with open arms! (It tickles me that I was called a hypocrite on there, pot kettle and all that).

Seriously people need to read all the threads in both groups to see what I mean. All the threads not just the latest. And I expect half of them will be deleted now.

Fuck sake. There you go - I'm starting again! Maybe they're right and I am a big fat dick

Fuck it. I'm stopping. I am. I am.

Does anyone actually use "hide thread" and manage not to peek?

Honestly? I wouldn't give a shit as I have no control over people on another forum

Is the issue really Reddit? surely Reddit is a result of the issues on here not the cause

I think it's a circled argument.

I do get the point that some think that the reddit sub forum is spiteful. Quite of the threads are imo tbh.

To say it's talking about an online persona and not the person is whataboutery really.

If you are one of the users being talked about on there and you know you aren't a troll and what you have said is 100% true, how would you feel?

Pag as ever, explains the one of the huge problems in recent times on MM "I think mnhq have struggled for a long time to find a policy which supports posters and does not tolerate disablist post but which tolerates discussion around difficult topics".

I think we have to accept that times change and sadly, people change. MN is no different from RL really and there seem to be more twats around there too. As a result of this I don't really post in the SN section anymore - it's a shame as they were a lifeline to our family 8-10 years ago and a mine of useful information and support. I've tried to "give it back" but have given up really. I stick to
Going on about discussing cats, perfume, books and Christmas. I certainly never click on the wheelchair/blue badge/parking/terrible children anymore.

The final straw really was when I was accused of having "a disablist tone" almost as amusing as being called LaQueen as a. I really don't and b. I was sitting in my wheelchair at the time and c. was actually posting in defence of wheelchair users!

There are still a load of good things about MN, for me, as I stick to happy stuff. Yesterday I got a lovely little package from a MNer which made me extraordinarily happy, and I'm sending one off to someone to "pay it forward". I had a thread recently under a NC when I was stressed about health stuff and got some lovely hair stroking replies.

I NC regularly which I didn't do until a few years ago and try just to stick to happy stuff (failed spectacularly last night obvs ) and really try (another fail) not to get sucked in to fighting with any knobheads. I think if people tried to be kind and not a twat, MN and RL could be more pleasant.

For me, the problem of the Reddit thing is that people are pleased they can be as cruel and as mean as they like under the guise of "saying what we want with no mods". I don't think it's that they are a little fucked off with MN modding (as lots of us are) they want to get away with saying shit you can't say on here for good reason (e.g. outing people).

So my take is, well take your bat and ball and fuck off and bitch as much as you want. All the better for MN (but nice posters are being sucked in not realising the shit some people have been saying there!) It's tricky. For 'me, I want more (or maybe just quicker) modding of people trolling and I would like to see MN go that way.

If people want the freedom to speculate on boards if posters are "real" or if they openly want to insult people by calling them twats or dicks, or accuse them of socking on the very flimsiest of thinking (LaQueen! PMSL!) then go ahead and get to Reddit.

MN has given me a lot over the years and I choose to give them a chance to take on board peoples' genuine concerns about trolling and act on them. Like RL, I am more careful who I interact with and protect myself by perhaps moderating my own natural inclinations to handbag with people I take the risk that NCing regularly lessens the feeling of friendship and "knowing" people. And I try to stay the fuck away from AIBU!

'Carlsberg/daiy lea triangles'

I agree with Polter too fwiw.

Take down nasty posts/threads whether 'committed' by trolls or not.
Leave harmless ones whether true or not.

I look at Reddit from time to time, but I don't really need another TimeThief in my life , so will stay well clear.

I have to be honest, I really truly don't get the need for nastiness: "I totally and utterly disagree with you and YABU" is a strong statement of ones position without any kind of personal attack.
It's not hard.

Is the issue really Reddit? surely Reddit is a result of the issues on here not the cause

I think people have different opinions on the reddit site. I have had a look a couple of times and each time I have seen MN posters named and a fair bit of unkindness. I am not talking about MNHQ as I think they can look themselves.

Is that Milton flashing up at the advert at top of page? Has he been promoted to PR?

Rufus

Yes but my notes are all " isn't Christina stunning", " she is so intelligent ", " we love Christinas modesty"

Yours however all say, " Christ Rufus is on the Carlsberg special and dairy lea triangles again"

A similar situation happened a while back with a thread I started on Reddit and at the time linked here - someone on that thread was rather nasty to a mn poster and from then on it was referred to here as "that Reddit post (my post) that was nasty to x mner". Weirdly I didn't get a ban, warning, or anything, so it shows the difference in the reaction.

To be fair - a large number of users on here will have Reddit accounts, net mum's accounts etc.

Ridicule of Netmums, including their moderation is par for the course on here and has been for many years - and I've never been aware of any moderation around that. As far as I know, Netmums hasn't banned users for saying these things here either.

So seems like the Reddit situation has struck a nerve in some way. I'm not saying it's great, but I am curious why the reaction seems so much greater?

bubbles

I think you will be ok....the gin shelf will be your saving grace

Good post, Polter - glad you kept a copy of it because it's certainly worth having it available for all to read.

I don't think the Stratters' ban was at all in keeping with the spirit of MN - I think that she purely got up MNHQ's nose because she kept reporting one particular poster, for really quite unpleasant posts, and they got fed up with it. Then she was suspended because she wouldn't stop reporting that one poster - she wasn't trollhunting on the open thread, she wasn't doing anything wrong, she was doing what MNHQ have asked everyone to do - report. I know most people know this now but really the whole vendetta against her is ridiculous.
She has been a great poster, her support and advice has been invaluable re. birds and other animals, but all this is as nothing in comparison with her wish to have vulnerable posters protected from some unpleasantly snidey comments on their threads, which is somehow the Wrongest Thing Ever in MNHQ's eyes.

I'm disappointed in MNHQ's responses. Not that they or anyone else cares, but this seems to have become personal against Stratters and how can that be anything other than unprofessional?

And your file is so big its gravitational pull affects the tides

Fact

Feel quite chuffed at that

christina

Your file can be seen from space

Fact

I really wanted to put fact after my last post...but i was being serious

Something I don't understand is when HQ come on a trolly thread and say they will be taking it down why does it sometimes then take forever to go? Surely,it can be frozen if taking it down will take a while?