MNHQ here: have you got strong feelings and personal experience about partners staying overnight on postnatal wards?

No one is suggesting banning fathers/partners. They can visit usually for 12 hours a day on post natal, and are usually allowed some leeway if delivery and transfer to post natal happens outside of those hours. With those visiting hours, women who want their partners with them have them for 12 hours and those that want some privacy/dignity/feeling of safety can have that for the other 12 hours - overnight when most will be sleeping (at least in part) anyway.

This idea that fathers/partners are put off parenting due to not being able to stay for 24 hours post birth is just wrong. DS1 was in SCBU immediately from birth and I was unwell and in the HDU unable to visit him until a day and a half later. According to some on this thread being away from my baby for that crucial period would mean I was prone to not being interested in parenting my child! It's absurd.

You can't possibly think that being in hospital because you've broken your leg is the same as having just given birth?

Having given birth shouldn't give me less rights as a patient than breaking my leg. Especially because I felt a lot more vulnerable post-birth than I did when staying over for other surgery.

Typically partners or other visitors can't stay with (adult) patients overnight on shared wards as a rule. The only time I've stayed with someone overnight was when the patient was very ill and the staff thought he was dying, and even then they moved him to a side room off the shared bay.

....but postnatal wards are completely different. You have just given birth, that is something that affects both mother and partner. It is a very different situation to be in, compared to being in hospital for another medical reason. You can't possibly think that being in hospital because you've broken your leg is the same as having just given birth?

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Woooo once upon a time midwives cared for the babies too (who are also a patient) supporting mothers as necessary to carry out basic care, establishing feeding etc

My ward (three times) was horrendous, shouting, crying, TVs on really loud, arguing on their phones, arguing in rl, drunks,blood...Why would I want to add men staying in over at night as well?
Please get real.

And in any case, it isn't true to say partners can never stay on other wards.

You are aware that there are barely the resources there for women to give birth safety and have some degree of after care?

It's a completely ridiculous conversation to be having when the NHS has NO resources for this.

Apart from paediatrics, hospitals function on the basis of only the patient being present at all times. Why is post natal any different, other than the appalling standard of care in too many instances?

It will be used as a way of reducing post-natal care poppet. Of course it will.

Because on other hospital wards the patient is not caring for a baby.

Partners do not stay in other hospital wards because the other patients have a right to dignity and privacy. Why should post natal wards be any different? And there is obviously a difference between 11.00 in the morning and the middle of the night.

So my rights as a patient are somehow lessened because I want my partner there? Both options should exist, cohesively, without one group being penalized, whether financially or emotionally/mentally.

Why not Bertrand? If anyone is paying extra (and I don't think anyone should, this is not an impossible nut for the NHS to crack) why wouldn't it be the patients wanting privacy? Surely if you feel exposed and vulnerable in a bay with male visitors at 11pm, you're equally unhappy about it at 11am and would be happier in a side room?

"That should be a basic option,"

Why?

If you wish your partner to stay in a room with an ensuite, then save up and go privately.

But why should I be made to go private and pay extra money, on top of all the taxes I pay already towards NHS, to get something like having my partner with me post-birth. That should be a basic option, not something I have to splash extra cash for!

I was on a ward with partners and hated every second (DH went home). I felt vulnerable. It was loud. One man was on his phone for hours and hours. I was bleeding, trying to establish breastfeeding and work out how to care for my baby. I hated answering midwive's questions about such sensitive issues in the middle of the night, knowing 3 men could hear.

If nothing else, it's an additional source of heat and noise that you really, really don't need on these wards!

Ironically, DS was then admitted to SCBU- and I wanted DH with me. Partners are not allowed on the parent bay of SCBU overnight. Why? Did I need less emotional and practical support because my baby was in intensive care?!

I would have loved my partner to be there too- and he was very sad to go home.

53rd way - not sure, but I stayed on Delivery Suite until about 2am because the bed on postnatal wasn't ready (was supposed to be being moved at 8pm). There also seemed to be a lot of movement in and out of siderooms while I was in. So I would guess it is similar to what happens to ensure single sex bays.

I don't think that having a partner there should be an indication that basic postnatal care is therefore somehow redundant; partner or no partner, medical professionals need to be there and help support everyone.
Yes, there are bad people out there, but that flags up a bigger question over hospital safety and security measures to mitigate against these circumstances.
Splitting the ward is a great idea and if this could/has worked elsewhere then maybe something more hospitals should be looking into.

For a bit of perspective, I had a gynae op recently and then complications. I am autistic and ideally need DH with me, as well as physically disabled and needing him as a carer. This could not be accommodated, and I'd already waited four years for the op (separate issue ), however a nurse was made available to provide any assistance I needed with personal care. We had issues with me not being able to ask for things and I was at panic stations the entire time, but it generally went well considering.

If it can be done on a regular ward and following emergency admission, it can be done on a PN ward - there is no need for a partner to be there to provide care. By which I mean, I understand that there have been problems with care, but the answer is not to have partners there.

Bonding etc is a separate issue and I'm rather suspicious that it's only being added in to attempt to save the NHS money

Now I have to leave this thread for the misappropriation of 'their'.

It seems to me there is the majority of women who would prefer it if partners did not stay overnight and the very vocal few who would, in retrospect, have wanted their partners to stay. I think the majority should have the ruling and the others should just abide by that.

If you wish your partner to stay in a room with an ensuite, then save up and go privately.

What's the midwives view on it? I suspect they don't have the time or inclination to police rude partners and entitled parents.

When I had DC1 I spent most of the night naked (save for knickers and massive pad) tits out, too hot, sweaty, knackered and uncomfortable. Why should women have to close the curtains and shield themselves? I could barely move let alone put on a nighty and co-ordinate a baby I couldn't feed.

Perhaps more women, those who feel strongly about having their partners their after giving birth, would consider a home birth if that's the case?

FWIW I'm sure my husband would have been quite happy to go home and get a decent night's sleep, he'd been up since 6am. It was me who made him stay until I was mobile (he went home for a shower and nap the next morning).

My baby was premature with low blood sugars and needed hourly formula feeds, I'm pretty sure he would have ended up in SCBU if my husband hadn't been there to help me.