Evening all. Just popping in to set your minds at rest (hopefully). We're sorry to say exactly what you probably don't want to hear but honestly, it is mostly as simple as 'if you follow talk guidelines you won't have any problems'.
As you might know, we don't hover over the boards waiting to swoop on transgressions so if you've come to our attention, it will be because we've had reports about your posts. We by no means delete all the posts that are reported to us (afraid I don't have the figures to hand but honestly, the rules here are pretty lax compared to most places where you might be rocketed off the site for a bit of a swear) and we ban a very small percentage. And when we do it's quite rare that it's 'for life' unless it's a very obvious troll or spammer or recurring PBP of some variety. We generally WANT people to be here and posting, so while we do have to apply the rules fairly, banning for good is rarely our first solution.
There aren't hard and fast rules because we try to be fair. If someone new joins and is incredibly goady and rude to people, we warn them, they don't stop and it's clear they are simply here to cause trouble we might well show them the door pretty quickly. But if it's someone who has obviously been having a difficult time, or a long-term poster who we know is a bit out of sorts for whatever reason, we might well deal with it a little more leniently. We know people are only human and make mistakes and so we don't really want to get to a stage where it's a black and white 'three strikes and you're out on your bum regardless' system. It's a pretty general template we go by, but we don't want to give a nasty goady troll three chances to upset everyone and on the other side of the coin, we don't want to lose someone who's been posting here for ten years just because they got out of bed on the wrong side three times in a decade.
Having said that, if a poster is flouting the rules continually and deliberately and generally making life unpleasant for others, we can't just overlook it. We're pretty clear in our Talk Guidelines and while we know it's easy to see red, post in haste and repent at leisure, we do have to be fair about it and ban them eventually if someone is a persistent offender and has had fair warning.
In answer to the questions, yes, we sometimes ban with no email or we simply haven't had time to email that person before they get in touch with us. Our hope is that if someone is genuine and they have just had a bad day, or don't understand why they've been banned, they will drop us a line and we can have a chat and sort it out. We don't ban anyone 'for life' and without warning without very good reason.
We really can't discuss individual cases with people who aren't the poster in question - it just wouldn't be fair. But if you think you've been unfairly dealt with or misunderstood, we're always happy to discuss it.
Honestly, the best thing is always to drop us a line and ask what's happened if you aren't sure. We're all very approachable people and we understand that MNers are very reasonable and approachable people, too. We really aren't going to hold it against someone for ever if they've lost their temper a bit, had one too many drinks late on a Friday night or just got wires crossed.
Hope that rather rambly explanation helps a bit, and please do let us know if there are any other questions. If it's specifically about your account, just drop us a line and we can have a chat with you off the boards.