Disablism

Thanks songbird will have to try it, it would be a great help for me.

i get called a scrounger because i gave up my job to look after DS DH works full time but i run the house on DLA, CB and CTC and we would be screwed without them.

I haven't claimed Carers allowance yet because i'm told CTC will essentially take exactly that amount back off me, so it kind of seems pointless.

Sock!

Fatty the dock things are ace. I've tried them and they do the biz.

Songbird I'll get that story out of you!

Ah yes the "genuinely disabled". That phrase always makes me think of poor ol tiny Tim and his crutch in Scrooge.

All these non genuine disabled people hey! Cos it's so much fun to pretend to be disabled and be treated with contempt and suspicion.

When asked to elaborate on who is "genuinely disabled" it usually involved wheelchair or missing limbs or severe learning disabilities . You know, those who can't work.

And they think they are benevolent because you know it's ok to give benefits to the "genuinely disabled"

PEOPLE! Benefit fraud is less than 1% !!!!

It s fucking difficult to get benefits !!!!

YHGAFC

And when it's pointed out that they are being disablist for perpetuating the myth that people with disabilities are lying scrounges, they will refuse to accept this. And others will leap to their defence. And MN will let it stand.

Or maybe not? Maybe they will surprise us? Over to you MNHQ.

www.essentialaids.com/dressing/sock-and-stocking-aids/easy-pull-sock-aid.html

Fatty as weird as it looks it works

Ah yes "Obviously, I'm not talking about you because YOU'RE GENUINE" "It's all these others"

And you know ALL their individual circumstances as well as you know mine, because...

BBA (love your name btw) it's comments like that which make me feel like a fraud, like I'm less deserving. I actually asked on that thread if I'm better than the other benefit claimants for not claiming disability benefits or worse because I don't get disability benefits?

Oh yes the "I've worked with people with disabilities so I know everything there is to know about disability ever" really bugs me.
I volunteer in a nursery two days a week (unless I'm really bad like today) and there's two children there who have downs syndrome. They are completely different and have different needs. Just because the diagnosis is the same doesn't mean the people are.

Fatty I've got a sock gadget that could help you - I'll see if I can find it online. You aren't a fraud.

Yes, the they/them othering gets right up my nose - WHAT do you mean by "people like me" I'm nothing like the next person who happens to be a wheelchair user but is a massive fan of say, Michael Buble and knitting!

As does I've worked with lots of disabled people therefore I know who you are brigade. Or as I was once told "know more than you" Yeahalright love.

I have a hilarious "Book Club Drunk" story Candy but it's very IDing.

Great to hear people's stories maybe we could have general work or not work or chat thread too? Was on on SN boards?

Thank you moz

Songbird, while its shit you had access issues with getting into the bar, what stood out for me is... Your book club is in a bar??? Cool book club! The one I went to was in a freezing church hall.

Yep emolument. I graduated from uni with same qualifications as my friends. Some of us went to work for the ssme company. Fast forward 5yrs, all promoted except me.
Access to Work, the DWP scheme which was meant to smooth out issues relation to employing a person with a disability (for example, paying for specialist software on a computer) has been drastically cut and is difficult to get. So it means it is more expensive for an employer to employ a disabled person - the cost of adaptations fall in them. In a time of budget cuts this is not always easy.
So not only does a person with a disability have all the usual worries and neves about applying for a job - they also know they are not as desirable as a non disabled person. It's just how it is. Shit though.

I sometimes feel a bit of a fraud. My disability is temporary. (So they tell me) I had SPD during my pregnancy with DD and worse with DS2. It hasn't gone away. It's 3 years since I was first diagnosed. I've lived my life in pain every day since. I don't even want to be cured anymore, I just want the pain to be bearable. I want to be able to get into my bath alone. I want to be able to put my own socks on and not cry if I do manage it, or have my DS1 do it for me. I have crutches. I hate using them, because when I do I have people think they can complain about the fat woman sitting in priority seats on buses, how if I wasn't so fat I wouldn't need the crutches. I'm fat because of the SPD. I couldn't move at all last year. I had to be carried to my downstairs toilet. I couldn't burn off the calories I was consuming.
People treat me as if I'm a child when shopping. I don't mind genuine concern, but for crying out loud I'm a 25 year old mother of 3, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm shopping for. No I don't want to buy knee supports. My knees are not the problem. "Oh, really, oh. It's just usually people like you want knee supports" wtf? People like me? What's that meant to mean? A woman? A mother? Fat? On crutches?
I've been asked to move on buses, despite being heavily pregnant and having crutches

I've had a woman refuse to move her bag from the priority seat because she didn't want me to sit next to her.
I've had people refuse to move when I've asked if it's possible for me to sit down because "it's your own fault you're so fucking fat you lazy bitch"

Disablist shit on here makes me so angry. It should not be left to stand. It needs to be addressed so that the shit that has happened to me may slowly change, people might see that the way they've treated me is wrong and it could improve someone's life. I can't imagine having to put up.with that crap forever.
for all of you that do. I respect you for not hitting someone yet. I know I've been tempted.

(Sorry if that's a bit of a ramble)

Oh and by "internally" I don't mean literally/medically I mean it in terms of the soul and personhood as cringy as that might sound.

I think when the negative focus is on the disability, that's when it's disablist.

Somebody on here felt a colleague wasn't working well because of personal issues at home, and that management hadn't handled it well. Fine. But it instead became a diatribe about all the things he apparently needs due to DD's disability, when really that part was not relevant, and not any of the OP's business.

Similarly on another thread a while back someone felt they had the right to march into a headteachers office and ask what was being "done" about an SN child. Literally none of their business. When the real question was "AIBU unreasonable to think the balance of SN provision in mainstream is poor?"
YANVU says THE ENTIRE WORLD but YABU to fixate on an individual child and believe you have ANY entitlement whatsoever to know their tatement/EHCP just because your child is in the same class. Disablist.

From a personal stand point:

Hi I'm Song, I like books and jigsaws and Game Of Thrones, I've got friends, I've got loved ones and experience the same relationship issues as all women. I work. I have hobbies. I am not internally different from the next woman. I use a wheelchair. I am repeatedly penalised for that for no reason, like struggling to get into the bar my book club is in, or people looking at or addressing another person when talking about or to me, before actually seeing if I am able to communicate. My disability is secondary and being treated as if it's all I am gets right on my tits.

In adulthood my biggest problem has been employment. Employers are very, very reluctant to employ disabled people and almost every disabled person I know with a job inc. me work in some kind of disability/health related position - it's what I have but it is not who I am and I don't really want to spend my life educating people about courtesy over things that should be blindingly obvious ie you wouldn't speak to someone with a baby voice because they had the flu so why would you talk like that to an adult with Downs?

Well said candy

Oh and I think sometimes dignity of disabled people is overtaken by patronising behaviour

My first hand experience of disability is somewhat limited, I am not disabled myself nor do I have any close family or friends that have a disability. But disabilism to me, well a few things stand out to me that happen a lot and they're often things that are 'brushed under the carpet'. Things such as

Buildings that don't have adequate access for people with varying disabilities

People failing to recognise 'invisible' disabilities

People saying things like 'that's not a disability'

Patronising disabled people - not seeing past their disability. It's like people forget someone's disability is just a small part of their entire being

Ignoring disabled people because it's easier to- eg priority seats

The brutal way people talk about disability- this has been covered in here with regards to the thread about the co worker carer. Blaming and shaming rather than trying to assist and accommodate

It is annoying when people can only see the disability.

Another aspect of this is that people can think disability is our only problem and they also have their own problems in life too.

I also have the same problems they might have AND a disability.
I worked for 25yrs and has employment issues
I'm a woman and have all the gynae issues including a faulty brca2 gene
I'm a wife and have had relationship
Issues in the past
I'm a daughter and my dad died two years ago
I'm a mother of a 3yr DD and it's hard work.

None of those give me an exemption from being a law abiding citizen and not discriminating against a vulnerable group.

I have all the challenges anybody else has AND I am deafblind.

Disablism isn't the only issue I care about.

But it is simwthing I understand well and I won't leave it unaddressed.

Maybe infantisation? So feel same way as if saw a 7ywar old trying do shopping are unsure you want it this way no let me pack, make sure you put your money away safe etc.

Have been known to put things in my basket when someone's been very helpful when I've just been looking at the top shelf then dump it few aisles later!

Can't think fancy name but when able bodied think always know best. So even if they ask you would you like a bag/hand/sugar with that say and you clearly say no thank you I manage or don't want. Able bodied person will say no have it, or carry on helping. I get it all time gives me rage! Their descions carry more weight even if it's just shop assistant deciding my way of carrying my shopping is wrong and they think have tell me better way. When I know what I can carry on my lap or chair. If I can reach it once I'm home etc. Able bodied 40y woman isn't normally given packing advice over tiny bit of shopping but person in wheelchair then they know better!

So on the last thread, we discussed What is disablism?

Disablism is treating a person as less equal because of their disability.

Disablism affects everything and comes in the guises of:

• discrimination

• ignorance
• inaccuracy
• diminishment
• exclusion

To name just a few.

Disablism affects all areas of life

• disability rights
• communication
• information
• mobility
• health
• education
• social inclusion
• housing access
• equal opportunities
• financial
• benefits
• personal care
• diet

Disablism is found everywhere. It is deep rooted entrenched views that people may not even realise they are holding.

Disablism blames the individual with a disability(or those impacted by disability.

If you are a visitor to this thread - what you do think disablism is? I'd be interested in a wider view.