Disablism

To answer questions about other places to chat, www.specialkidsintheuk.org has a forum. It's a little slower than it used to be but it's quite 'safe'. There are parents who have a disability on there also, though it's mainly set up for parents who have a disabled child, of any age.

The deletion message was that it was against Talk Guidelines, nothing along the lines of MNHQ's suggested message about disabilism.

A plea to get HQ to take diversity training www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2771792-How-about-a-campaign-where-the-users-get-MNHQ-staff-to-take-diversity-training?

Another day another autism goady as fuck thread.

Sadly it looks as though it's Children with diabetes who are getting the ignorance from the owner of the site today.

Yup agree completely. As I previously wrote on a thread that got deleted (sigh), it's very hard to challenge prejudice when the people concerned believe strongly that they cannot be disablist because they are good people.

How do you change people's attitudes and behavior when to even acknowledge what's happening is to challenge the very identity of those people?

The strength of their need to protect their own sense of self is far, far stronger than anything else.

I'm dealing with a very similar situation in rl, and it's incredibly upsetting to have people so determined to justify their own selves that they will lie and cheat and be incredibly cruel. Its turned into a crusade to push me out by any means necessary. It's awful and so, so, completely unnecessary :(

Akire i think your last point is particularly valid. 'She didn't give it a second thought' I think a fair percentage of the disabilism we're seeing is casual, not concious, not malicious. The lack of thought means that it is a bit under the radar of people and when interpreted, we get the particularly snidy brigade type coments and we're being over sensitive.

I see it as rather like the Irish jokes that were prevelant in my childhood. Many jokes started Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman. The Irishman rarely faired well, but it wasn't until I was a teen I really questioned this. Its all going to take time, masses of patience and gently bringing the subconcious disabilism into the concious so it is thought about and acknowledged for what it is.

I'm same I'm disabled adult no kids so not looking for a disabled parent forum. Been trying challenge it myself this week, one my agency carers keeps refer to another client with Downs as girl. Not talking personally just as in "my next client is girl with Downs" . I questioned her if she was a girl or if she was a women. Oh she in her 40s but like a child. FFS really disappointing when "carers" can't even award someone dignity of being spoken about as an adult.

It's percuilar to learning Disabilites, because she didn't seem to have the problem if talking about someone with Demetia who may be u able to speak, walk or go to the toilet. Yet because they once achieved "adult status" it seems you don't revert back to a child even if you lose your adult functions.

Just bothered me though suspect she didn't give it a second thought.

If I set up somewhere where people could chat, would that be treading on anyone's toes? I'm not parent of a SN child myself, but DH and I both have disabilities (minor in my case). I know that Im not a "known" around here, but ive been here a long time and wouldn't want anyone to lose a valuable source of support.

There was a thread last night were a shit load of posts got pulled and the stated reason on each post was "we believe this is disabllist" so it would appear they are listening.

I'm still drifting out and in as have a few loose ends (PM's) to tie up.

I'm under no doubt that I will go soon though.

Nothing from MN in here, nasty posts (not 'just' the disablist ones-many) left to stand and just a general feeling that it's time to move on from what MN is now.

I have been keeping away from a threads that might turn controversial and being mumsnet lite for the last week or so its easier

There is no site for disabled parent i have looked and looked im a member of a few groups for my disability and there is disabled parents on it.

Oh crap, everyone is leaving

Please do say if there's another place for disabled parents and parents with disabled children?

In spite of the prejudice on the main boards, I've found comradary, empathy and just good people on here in the corners.

If anyone finds a more disabled friendly site or facebook page could they link it?

It would be nice if we could find somewhere that we could all still get this support from.