Disablism

Waitrose I would love for you to stick around and try to see things from a different perspective, this is one of my favourite posts from the other thread, Candy is awesome;

CandyMcJingles Sun 16-Oct-16 12:05:00

I haven't read the full thread - I'm VI and it's a lot to read, but here's what I always think and say to disablism

If you haven't got a disability or if you aren't directly impacted by disability (for example a parent of a child or child of a parent with a disability) then don't presume to know better than an actual person with a disability or someone directly impacted by disability. That also applies to professionals working in the disability fields, who insist they know best. No, you don't.
The experts are the people who have a disability or are directly impacted by disability.

Posters regularly highlight that they haven't got a fucking clue.

It's like when I worked in an office of 12 people and the manager said it was safer if I didn't brew up for everyone as me walking round with hot brews with a visual impairment was asking for trouble. The kettle was a bit dodgy too. Do ten of my colleagues would brew up and make a cuppa for me too, knowing I wasn't going to make them a brew back. No problem. But one judgemental ignorance person never ever made me a brew. She would brew up for everyone else and miss me out.she resented my special treatment and I was punished for it. When I then fell badly due to my VI and was off work rehabilitating and undergoing additional mobility training (I now have a guide dog), she complained to my manager about a photo on FB showing me in a restaurant for a major family birthday. Going out and about was obviously part of my rehab.

That spiteful ignorant person has no idea what it is like to live 24/7 with a disability but still get up and try to function as best as possible. And then deal with shitty attitudes on top of that.

And the posters making disablist remarks are just like that shitty ex colleague. I'm very glad I'm not that person. I'd much rather be me.

What on earth HQ? You can come on here and delete comments but no actually answer any of the concerns?

Thanks Iam - I'm so sorry it's come to this for everyone involved.

HQ should take exactly the same action auser - I agree with you.

x post waitrose, I hope you have good support

Sorry Waitrose I directed that at you which was wrong of me. I shall rephrase.

Waitrose disclosed her upset re her miscarriage and another poster was banned by HQ due to accusing Waitrose of emotional black mail.

The saame thing has now been done to me. Will that poster be banned?

Waitrose was having a hard time and has all of our sympathy for that, many of us has suffered mc - it is wretched. Coming onto threads about disablism and bashing will not get a good response, she did not like the response she got. The two facts are not particularly related other than that her judgement may be clouded. I hope she understands that no one was having a go at her or her harsh life event and circumstances.

I didn't get anyone banned - HQ make the decision to ban based on how people conduct themselves.

Stop bringing my name back into this thread, please - I've got enough going on.

Yeah I get accused of just wanting a row too. Cos I love rowing me.

All them civil rights campaigners. After a row too.

Stop de regging!

I've been here around 12 years and have changed from a rabid.right wing tosser to a complete lefty. Mainly through the conversations on here.

When my dd was v young a relative went on a training course (a day long!) and then phoned to tell me she had decided dd had autism. I had a post at the time, absolutely outraged that anyone could say that about my pfb Bee gently explained to me how offensive I was being and why.
It hadn't occured to me at all that I was being vile (by basically saying being called autistic was an insult).
Took me a while to get my head round it and I understand that people are too tired, fed up, exhausted to continue educating nicely all the time (why do we expect such high standards of 'niceness' from those educating about disability by the way??)... But it does change people. It's changed me completely. And yes dd is on the spectrum, mainly suffers from spd.
Anyway point of this waffle was - your words are read by many lurkers, if you can bear to stay, please do

Yup, am cherry picking. If we keep cutting and pasting the message won't be lost by thread deletion...

You have put your heart and soul into these threads and it has all deleted, I don't think it has to be that tiring considering we say the same over and over.

If I am wrong tell me and I will stop.

Iam. That was me to BertrandRussell iirc.

Ausernotanumber Tue 11-Oct-16 11:54:08

Imagine you're on a Feminism thread. And a man comes along and tells you all what you're doing wrong and how it's not misogynistic because xyz and they can't see any misogyny.

Then imagine how hurt you'd feel.

That's how some of those on this thread feel about you insisting there's no disablism.

Just been told that the three hanky tear jerker post doesn't break talk guidelines.

I was definitely deleted for far less last night

God I need to stop on that other thread now, it's upsetting me

I've been here for 10 years plus too. 11.5 I think it is.

Attitudes can take generations to change. They can and do change. It's not and almost never has been an overnight thing.

Flounc this also has been discussed at length, if we keep cutting and pasting the appeals to HQ maybe they will act?

Oh and by act I mean stop allowing disablism rather than deleting threads only after we have stood up for ourselves!

We need to be gentle chipping away at people's current perceptions and creating an inclusive society attitude shift.

Some here have been trying that for 10 plus years now.

How long does dereging take, it should be an instant thing surely?

I know that there's a fair bit of animosity towards HQ here at present, but it's not saying they wouldn't allow baton passing if we presented how we'd like to collectively move forwards in an attempt to prevent bun fights and keep debates educational rather than personal.

We're kind of at an impasse. What's been happening is actually losing steam for raising awareness.

It's not unusual for people to not put significant thought into issues which don't affect them directly.

Right now the phrase 'disabilism' on MN is probably more associated with a bun fight than a valid 'ism'. We need to be gentle chipping away at people's current perceptions and creating an inclusive society attitude shift.

And not one response from HQ.

Deliberately ignoring us.