Please or to access all these features

Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Are we allowed to talk about women and/or lesbians?

288 replies

LRDtheFeministDragon · 24/08/2016 23:09

I'm referring to the deleted thread from Chat today. It was started to discuss issues arising from some of the statements made by Edinburgh University's ex-LGBT rep, which were anti-semitic, misogynistic and lesbophobic (amongst other things.

This rep identifies as trans. Various posters (both trans and not) were either ignorant of their preferred pronouns, or didn't use them consistently. I can believe some people also deliberately misgendered them; I didn't see. The debate, so far as I understand it, ended with the claim that we should not use 'they' in statements of the form 'This group, they are like this' or 'This group, they do that'.

This may be a valid debate. I don't know. But it seemed to me it was a complete derail of the original debate, and one that replicates the exact type of erasure that LGBT students at Edinburgh were experiencing when they were being made to feel unwelcome.

MNHQ's deletion message included this: We understand folks will want to talk more about pronouns and trans issues in general on another thread perhaps - but we would ask that you do so in way that doesn't rehash or repeat this thread.

HQ, could you please let us know why you think everything has to be dominated by discussions like this? Can't there be some way of restricting them, so they don't take over every attempt to discuss misogyny or lesbianism or bisexuality?

There were posters on that thread sharing very personal experiences, and to delete the thread with the claim that we've discussed pronouns in the wrong way seems insulting.

OP posts:
Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 25/08/2016 10:00

Yes, I am responding to a direct question, ego.

You have been claiming for some hours that you never 'derail', you just respond to questions.

So which is it?

Are you now admitting that you knew you were derailing all along, when you responded?

OP posts:
Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DropYourSword · 25/08/2016 09:58

Again, apologies if I am misremembering this Ego but didn't you say you were trans on the other thread. Therefore I am talking with one of 'them'. I am asking a reasonable question to understand your point of view, because at the moment my idea of transactivists is exactly represented by Ada. If you're saying this isn't the case I really don't understand why you won't answer.
Maybe it's just easier to call people ignorant, huh?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 25/08/2016 09:57

Surely that is exactly the point Ego is making?

No, as I understand it, Ego is advocating using 'most' in preference to 'they'. I am arguing that we need both, as they serve different grammatical and semantic purposes.

OP posts:
BeyondLovesSweetDee · 25/08/2016 09:56

I wasn't asking, it was a statement.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 25/08/2016 09:55

See ... I'm frustrated, again.

I really do believe the Stefonknee bullshit is the utter delusions of someone who bears about as much resemblance to my trans friends as Bluebeard does to a good and loving husband. Likewise, clearly Ada Wells is either extremely frighteningly bigoted, or seriously mentally unwell, and quite possibly both.

I also believe that it is not easy to find out about this stuff on the internet (as ego is currently acknowledging on another thread).

But now we are discussing the outliers, and the debate is, once again, going down the plughole.

So any attempt to convince MNHQ that, actually, we might have wanted to talk about student politics and its effect on women, or lesbians, or Jewish students, falls by the wayside. And posters who are conflicted and upset, or worried about their daughters, or worried about their students, don't get to have conversations that MN used to be good at hosting, conversations that could really give women a space where we could learn useful things and change each others' views.

OP posts:
Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 25/08/2016 09:54

Why are people who acknowledge that Ada is at the most extreme end of the spectrum demanding details of more moderate activists? Surely that acknowledgement of necessity involves acceptance that most activists are more moderate?

I interpret that differently. I think most people think that all transactivists are extremists. This is why people are asking for evidence of moderate trans-activists from those who say moderate transactivists exist, and that moderate transactivists are in the majority.

BeyondLovesSweetDee · 25/08/2016 09:54

Again, an Islamist wants Islam to be integrated with politics. It's not just an Muslim person who talks openly about Islam. No matter how moderate, that is incompatible with secular society. Transactivism is no different, it is incompatible with a society where (until feminism wins, long in the future) people are separated by sex.

Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laniakea · 25/08/2016 09:51

also DropYourSword it leads to the situation where in order to find a transactivist who doesn't hate women we have to sift through pages of search results of insults and threats of violence.

I don't particularly want to spend my morning doing that. I would find it extremely upsetting, threatening & triggering. I don't think that I am unique amongst women by feeling like that.

Ego could help avoid that situation offering links or names supporting Egos's position that there are lots of nice transactivists and Ada is an abberration. But Ego won't do that Confused

MoreCoffeeNow · 25/08/2016 09:51

and off the tracks again.

Can we report for persistent derailing?

DropYourSword · 25/08/2016 09:50

Why not go on there Because we are having this discussion here. When I googled I came up with such gems as Stefoknee and Ada.

JudyCoolibar · 25/08/2016 09:49

You're pretty much admitting there are no activists who don't fit the stereotypes.

If that's really what you are getting from Ego's posts, MrsMerton, it explains your attitude. But if you read them properly you will see that that is very clearly not what she is saying. Why are people who acknowledge that Ada is at the most extreme end of the spectrum demanding details of more moderate activists? Surely that acknowledgement of necessity involves acceptance that most activists are more moderate?

ego, saying 'most' is different from saying 'they'.

Surely that is exactly the point Ego is making?

HermioneWeasley · 25/08/2016 09:48

The thing that blows my mind is that unlike other extremists, transactivists are actually influencing policy and legislation.

Like Steofonknee who was named checked by the Canadian government for their contribution to trans rights legislation. (For those of you who don't know, Steofonknee is a 50+ male who recently life his wife and children to live as a 6 year old girl, and enjoys anal sex with their "adopted father"). Now normally we'd just say nobody woukd take them seriously, but Stefonknee is a respected TA and I've not heard anybody trans (except the consistently brilliant Miranda Yardley) condemn them and say "this person does not speak for me or represent me in any way"

Are we allowed to talk about women and/or lesbians?
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 25/08/2016 09:48

But there is no evidence of moderate trans-activists, I have looked.

Can you link to "There are plenty of prominent trans activists who write in the press"?

Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DropYourSword · 25/08/2016 09:45

The thing is, I have Muslim friends, so I can ask them. I don't have trans friends, ergo I can't ask them. I don't think "go and Google" is particularly helpful. Especially as it can lead to the very misinformation you are arguing against. You despair at me misunderstanding your definition of a transactivist but don't help me to educate myself.

Egosumquisum · 25/08/2016 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaudGonneMad · 25/08/2016 09:43

Islamists are not the same thing as Muslims, Ego. Quite a sleight of hand there.