A pondering about the Sex topic (and wider)

I agree OP.

I think I've only found myself in the sex topic a couple of times, when I've clicked on active convos.

But I did notice then, that some posters were continually derailing with judgey posts that had little to do with what the OPs were asking.

It just made them come across as kind of silly really and I did wonder why they bothered.

That's not a dig at anyone btw, because I genuinely cannot remember who they were.

I agree.
& there's no point reporting them because they're not actually breaking the talk guidelines, they just post silly comments.
It's a shame.

Agree - a sticky would be good. I'm more vanilla than an entire bottle of vanilla essence, but I still find the tone of certain posts really annoying. And they can't be reported because they stay the right side of talk guidelines. (To use the analogy frequently used on the feminism board, it's like going into the camping section and repeatedly posting "camping, it's a bit shit, isn't it?")

Can't you just report whoever it is that's got your back up rather than start a vague, scoldy thread?

I'm going to quote myself [narcissist] but my take is that it's fine to talk about the risks of sexual practices, and to express revulsion or bafflement, but constant attempts to shut down discussion are tedious.

I like that people challenge - it's what makes MN brilliant - sometimes however I feel that having banished discussion about sex to its own topic, some quarters are attempting to sabotage it. It's perfectly possible that I'm reading too much into it, but it's a hunch.

I completely agree. I've posted and lurked on a couple of threads and it seems the sex topic doesn't attract the same support and sharing of advice as, say, relationships. It's sad when people are judging others for their adult, consensual choices.

That's what you took from this thread usual

*aren't happy and confident not aren't impacted

Ugh. Taking a pop at a "someone who I shan't name" is underhand and sneaky.

I think if people are being goady or attacking other posters then they shoukd be reported and then deleted if required.

As with other areas of the site I don't think one can police what is said on threads , and I don't think debate is a bad thing. If people are confident and happy with their sex lives they won't be impacted by such posters, if they aren't then maybe they shoukd have a think about things?

I agree.

Each to their own within consenting relationships.

You might not fancy trying the act the thread is about, but as long as it is happening between consenting adults, there is no reason to deride it or to call the whole relationship into question.

As a side note, I started a thread about something similar to this a few months ago which did not go well where I said I sometimes felt that sometimes on MN a thread can go clearly in the direction that no woman could actually be interested in certain sex acts, it's only men who are interested in those acts (fisting, anal etc) and only then because they are influenced by watching too much porn. IMO, that's quite a derogatory opinion towards women who are interested in those acts.

The Sex topic should be both supportive and practical and unless an OP gives off massive red flags, what they are asking about should not be derided or questioned.

I don't post in there either but sometimes read if a thread is in active.

There's a small group of posters who take delight in making stupid or disbelieving comments. The fisting thread was a case in point. Now, don't get me wrong, it had me crossing my legs BUT it was a genuine poster asking for genuine advice and oh look .. Up turn up all the dickheads posting sarcastically and trying to derail the thread.

Why do these people read the topic? It's a mystery

Agree also.

I picture some of the posters there having to fan themselves and said epsom salts if someone does anything other than missionary every fourth Tuesday of the month.

Yes I agree.

Everyone has different tastes sexually, don't know why people have to express how horrified they are at a consensual relationship just because it may involve an act that is outside their comfort zone.

Completely agree. I've never posted in it but I have a read occasionally, and there is one poster in particular who always seems to think that every thread is dodgy. I wish she'd just report them and keep out of it if that's the case. It's very tiresome.