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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

MNHQ - are they disabilist?

286 replies

Sixweekstowait · 09/06/2016 20:36

Having had a thread deleted with no communication with me until I asked ( but then I'm disabled and so invisible) , having read on the second class citizen thread of examples of disabilist language which HQ defend, I am beginning to think they are. I now think they were really really wrong to delete my thread and that they have NO IDEA about the everyday discrimination that people with disabilities face in even trying to travel to work, care even less and I would like to know how many of their staff are disabled?

OP posts:
Samcro · 10/06/2016 08:11

its odd isnt it. when someone is pulled up for using the s or r word..we then get loads of posts excusing it. when there is never an excuse.
walkie talkies!! people walk and talk.....hardly offensive

Original poster
Sixweekstowait · 10/06/2016 07:59

MNHQ shouldn't delete whole threads because people who can't be bothered to read an OP properly report it- that's absolutely pathetic. I wonder how many of the people who reported really give a shit about disability , hidden or otherwise? One person called the phrase vile and disgusting - wtf? What is really being said is that threads on disability have to follow different standards and are treated differently from others - part of the whole disabilist rubbish we have to put up with on a daily basis and woe betide us for getting angry

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 10/06/2016 07:59

Some posters on AIBU just sit there looking for a way in to become massively angry at OP I think too .

Pagwatch · 10/06/2016 07:49

I only saw the start of it MrsDeVere but I think that's true.

MrsDeVere · 10/06/2016 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Sixweekstowait · 10/06/2016 00:05

As other people have used the phrase now, I'll try and explain the context- apologies if you've read this on other threads. From what I can remember, on my deleted thread I had a rant about the appalling behaviour of the abusers of bb spaces. I recounted an exchange where one particular obnoxious person said that he might have a hidden disability , I retorted that he clearly couldn't read ( ie the bb notice) but that if he did have a hidden disability, I'd like to see his hidden blue badge.i thought and still think that was very funny and quick witted of me especially as I was so fed up. It was not a pop at hidden disabilities but at people using bb spaces without a bb. I then railed about the fact that no one ever supports me when I try to get these people to move ( yes I know it's becsuse I'm angry and not simpering smiling ). I called these people walkie talkies which was a phrase coined in the 80s at the start of the disability rights movement and was a tongue in cheek shot across the bows remark to counter and highlight the dreadful phrases and words that were being used then ( and some still are) to label people with disabilities. From what I recall some of the worst posts were from people who had not read my OP properly but were clearly disabilist and wanted to have a go at me dressing it up in faux outrage

OP posts:
MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 09/06/2016 23:58

@Bourdic

Any chance of a report back when you've had a think about it?

Sure - can't guarantee it'll be this week as not sure of who's where on the 9 to 5 side but we will be in touch.
Please feel free to PM me to remind me if you've not heard back.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/06/2016 23:53

That is probably what should have happened. Unusual that there wasn't an "oi, behave" post on the thread or that more individual posts weren't deleted.

And there was call for this on other thread too IMO

PreciousVagine · 09/06/2016 23:53

I think MNHQ used to be really proactive with disablist stuff but it's gone downhill a bit. I still remember the time not long back that I reported someone using a mental illness as an alternative description of being quirky (which really doesn't help certain stereotypes) and was told that the poster probably didn't mean to use it in a negative way so they'd be leaving it up. Prior to that, when I reported something similar a couple of times, they were on it straight away, editing titles and explaining why it was disablist etc. That was before penis beaker and money money money though.

Original poster
Sixweekstowait · 09/06/2016 23:51

Any chance of a report back when you've had a think about it?

OP posts:
MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 09/06/2016 23:50

@Bourdic

Olivia - you could have commented on the thread and and reminded people of the guidelines and asked them to play nicely, you could have emailed me that you were going to delete the thread

That is probably what should have happened. Unusual that there wasn't an "oi, behave" post on the thread or that more individual posts weren't deleted.

However, please don't be offended that we didn't contact you - it is VERY rare that we would email an OP to tell them we are going to delete their thread (I think I can remember doing so maybe half a dozen times in my time here) and as in this case we sometimes give advanced warning (of a few mins,) that a thread will be deleted.

We are sorry that a really shitty experience at the station was worsened by a shitty experience here when this was meant to be the place that you can vent (you mentioned that you don't in RL)

We do try really hard to get on the right side of this - whether it's linguistic debate or not - and we'll have another think about it

Original poster
Sixweekstowait · 09/06/2016 23:47

Samcro - thanks for linking that thread. It made me rethink how I felt about the deletion and it was axrealmeye opener. I hope Olivia reads it as I think it would foster some understanding of where some of us are coming from

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 09/06/2016 23:47

When nice, reasonable debate fails the next step is anger. That's how civilised society effects change. Might not be nice to admit but it is the truth.

I don't see why a victim of discrimination needs to be held to higher accountant then those in a privileged position. That's just bonkers.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 09/06/2016 23:44

it did seem to me that some posters were set to derail for the sake of it.

That's trolling in my book. Trolls need to be banned.

Original poster
Sixweekstowait · 09/06/2016 23:44

And for those of you who don't understand, you can be disabilist even if you don't mean to be. Perception is all - and that goes for HQ as well

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 09/06/2016 23:43

I think this thread rather illustrates the OPs point. She was very quickly told it was not her place to be angry. Her job is to be nice enough for people to want to engage with her. Being angry meant she would be ignored.

You know, like rich white men are? Oh...wait..

ilovesooty · 09/06/2016 23:43

I'm sure that there are posters that love to be offended just so they can start a bunfight for the fun of it, but I don't think it's right to say all the people who disagreed with the op's description of non-disabled people were just making trouble and derailing the thread

Purple I do acknowledge that I'm supposing here - I was only there for the first part of it, but it did seem to me that some posters were set to derail for the sake of it.

Samcro · 09/06/2016 23:40

good god so walkie talkie is offensive!! to who??
why?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/06/2016 23:40

X posted. I was answering purple

Samcro · 09/06/2016 23:40

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2653006-Non-sharing-and-rudeness-at-play-park-special-needs

im just looking at this thread and shouting double standards

ilovesooty · 09/06/2016 23:39

Yes Samcro it was.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/06/2016 23:39

Many were though

Wolfiefan · 09/06/2016 23:39

I hope I wasn't being patronising. Certainly wasn't my intention.

PurpleDaisies · 09/06/2016 23:38

I suspect the thread was derailed by people choosing to take offence to one term she used.

Is it not possible that posters were genuinely offended at how bourdic was referring to them? I wasn't happy with the phrase the op used but agreed with the rest of the post (that she had been treated really badly). I'm sure that there are posters that love to be offended just so they can start a bunfight for the fun of it, but I don't think it's right to say all the people who disagreed with the op's description of non-disabled people were just making trouble and derailing the thread.

JangleBangle · 09/06/2016 23:38

I've just remembered a time when we called into high school for a meeting with DS's teacher and SENCO because he had apparently not said thank you when another pupil opened the door for him. This was considered rude and arrogant. The funny thing was that we were never once called into school about his older brother's swearing, being rude, drawing obscene things on text books, etc. But of course my disabled DS should be thankful, grateful and behave at all times.
Sorry if I have derailed your thread!