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Original poster

Trigger warnings

215 replies

TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 01:58

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

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phequer · 16/03/2016 03:28

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:26

Honestly, it's bugging me. I can see the point that it's a kindness to bereaved parents but so would be putting warnings on all live baby threads outside parenting topics. It would be a kindness to those who miscarry to put warnings on all pregnancy threads outside the pregnancy topic but we don't.

Why is child death different? If bereaved parents chose this, then fine. I don't agree but I understand but if it is a decision made on their behalf I think it reflective of the overall avoidant attitude towards child death.

I'm sorry you think I'm being aggressive but I really don't see it. Persistent maybe. Possibly we just disagree.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 16/03/2016 03:25

As I said I may have missed a consensus of bereaved parents saying they wanted them in which case fine.

This could easily be the case. Remember that no-one can edit on mumsnet, so it will ALWAYS be mumsnet HQ that add in the warning, unless the OP included it originally.

phequer · 16/03/2016 03:18

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:17

And they aren't put there by the OP either. So why are they there? As I said I may have missed a consensus of bereaved parents saying they wanted them in which case fine.

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:16

Teams=trans

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:15

With all the whinging about teams threads on here I doubt a trigger warning would be just for you...

But my point was that trigger warnings are put on child death threads even when the thread title is completely clear. Why?

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phequer · 16/03/2016 03:15

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:13

Ok I may be tired but not sure your example makes much sense.

However as another analogy. This is a site for parents (although a lot of non parents are here too) I expect discussion on the broad range of parenting experiences including non sleeping babies, difficult toddlers, teen troubles, pregnancy niggles and child death. I don't think any of these need trigger warnings they are expected topics. However if a thread about say a beheading in the news is posted then fine trigger warning away, it's not in the expected topic range and it's pretty gruesome some will want to avoid.

At the moment by trigger warning child death threads you imply that topic is out of the normal range of parenting experiences which it isn't.

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phequer · 16/03/2016 03:11

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phequer · 16/03/2016 03:07

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:07

Ok I don't think I'm irrational? Why do you? Admittedly it's 3.00am and I should probably be sleeping but this has been bugging me for a while and it's just I have more courage at 3.00 to post. I'm not sure why you think I need to talk to someone, I really feel relatively fine.

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DropYourSword · 16/03/2016 03:06

Ok, silly example. If I was on a website that was for car enthusiasts for example then I would expect that most of the threads would be about cars. If broken pistons were a known trigger for many people then I would expect a trigger warning on it. I have just found out that my car has an oil leak, which devastates me.
I wouldn't expect trigger warnings on all threads that discuss cars without piston problems. I wouldn't expect trigger warnings on threads discussing oil leaks (even though I'm currently devastated about it). I would expect trigger warnings on threads regarding pistons because it's a common trigger.

Clearly I know virtually fuck all about cars. This isn't meant to be trivial bit a comparison.

phequer · 16/03/2016 03:05

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:04

I even would be happy if a group of bereaved parents had said they wanted this and this is why they were introduced which is why I'm asking for clarification

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phequer · 16/03/2016 03:03

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:02

I said already I have no problem if the author of the thread does it but these are warnings inserted by MNHQ why?

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phequer · 16/03/2016 03:01

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:01

Fine but then every unclear thread title should have a trigger warning. So if my mother just died for example and I want to avoid threads where posters complain about their mothers I can. Or alternatively people could write clear thread titles.

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phequer · 16/03/2016 03:00

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 02:59

So should mumsnet have put trigger warnings on every thread related to what you wanted to avoid. I bet there are a lot of people on here with traumatic births or infant feeding experiences who find childbirth or breastfeeding threads triggering but where are the trigger warnings?

What makes child death different?

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phequer · 16/03/2016 02:58

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 02:56

Yes and I don't have a problem with that at all. I'm just interested as to why trigger warnings needed on child death threads but not live ones especially when the title makes the topic clear.

Yes I'm having counselling but they suggested reducing sessions to monthly as no concerns.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 16/03/2016 02:55

I agree with you that it's not 'grotesque' and shouldn't be hidden away as if it's somehow shameful. There absolutely should be the ability to talk about it. But certain people, at certain points in their journey have more or less capacity to deal with things. A few months ago I had some devastating news and really take struggled to cope. I'm slowly getting there but understand that while I was processing what was happening I would want to avoid anything relating to it.

phequer · 16/03/2016 02:53

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