Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Trigger warnings

215 replies

TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 01:58

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:18

Agreed I think they've told us their current policy but shall look forward to an update if changed

OP posts:
WannaBe · 16/03/2016 12:17

Actually I think that if posters just wrote clearer thread titles and weren't jumped on for doing so we wouldn't have the need for "trigger warnings".

If someone writes in the news section about a baby death then it's pretty obvious what that's about and posters can choose to click or not. But I've seen countless instances of posters writing a clear thread title and then being jumped on by other posters for daring to actually state what a thread is about because it might be upsetting to someone.

This notion that you should write a vague title and then add "trigger warning" is pretty patronising actually. If you're planning to link to an article then it's not hard to write as part of the link that it contains upsetting content so people can choose to participate on the thread but not read the article, for instance. But the reality is that this is a public forum, and we have access to public media all the time, all of which contains headlines which open the door to distressing content. If the headline is clear enough, then the decision is clear enough.

So tbh I would say write clear thread titles and stop jumping on posters for daring to say what a thread is about.

Writing a thread title along the lines of "upsetting news story, (trigger warning)" does in fact give the message that certain topics should be hushed up and discussed behind closed doors.

phequer · 16/03/2016 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:13

Sure but they have stated their policy is to generally add if someone feels that it needs one. Child death is a trigger topic for some, so is pregnancy or breastfeeding or babies for others. It will be helpful to have warnings on unclear titles.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:09

I promise not to ask for a trigger warning for a thread in infant feeding though. Although personally I avoid that topic anyhow.

OP posts:
disappoint15 · 16/03/2016 12:08

In general I think trigger warnings are a bit silly and even slightly patronising, largely because it is impossible to know what will trigger different individuals. The OP finds threads about live babies triggering; since I have a relative who died on a particular form of transport I might find any mention of that form of transport triggering. Of course no one wants to cause unnecessary grief to anyone but people watch TV, listen to the radio, read papers and magazines. And of course this site managed for years without them. I just think they're not very useful as they only seem to be used on threads dealing with certain things and the experiences that have made individuals suffer are innumerable. So potentially anything could be a trigger. But I guess if they help some people they're helpful.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:07

I can and will if it has an unclear title. I doubt I'm the only one to be triggered by feeding threads and a clear warning would help many.

If they aren't put on on request then it is a clearly discriminatory policy.

OP posts:
sugar21 · 16/03/2016 12:07

Oh no don't be sorry, I understand hence the trigger. As I said I never ever want to upset anyone, life is tough enough without me distressing other people. I wrote the thread because I wanted to talk about dd2 which is my way of dealing with things.

phequer · 16/03/2016 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:03

I think the policy is clarified now. If requested it is put on. I'm happy, seems reasonable to me.

I will report any threads I find triggering and others can do the same. Of course I'll avoid any in the obvious topics and those with clear titles as personally think trigger warnings on those threads ridiculous.

Glad you didn't mind sugar I was sorry to hear of the loss of your Daisy.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peaceandloveeveryone · 16/03/2016 11:53

I can see exactly where you are coming from Thedissallusionedanarchist, it seems slightly offensive.

sugar21 · 16/03/2016 11:51

Oh ok

phequer · 16/03/2016 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugar21 · 16/03/2016 11:48

MNHQ asked me about a trigger warning as my thread could be very very upsetting to others, so I agreed as it is never my intention to upset anyone. Posters see the trigger and in my case description of the thread contents and then can decide for themseves if they want to read it or not.
This hasn't been a problem for me

phequer · 16/03/2016 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 11:07

Thank you. If I find a thread about babies or pregnancy triggering then can I report in order to add a warning? Didn't realise it was an option before.

Obviously only if they're out of an obvious topic I agre if I wander into ' pregnancy' or 'parenting' I need to take my chances.

OP posts:
MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 16/03/2016 10:18

@TheDisillusionedAnarchist

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

Please be assured that at MNHQ we are aware how difficult life can be for bereaved parents, and our raison d'être is to make lives easier.

We only ever add this kind of warning following a request to do so, whether it's on a thread about bereavement, DV, rape or something else such as eating disorders.

We tend to add them pretty much whenever we have been asked for them, as if it's affected one MNer it could affect more.

We hope you understand.

Thanks
Sending so much peace and love to you, OP
MNHQ

ICJump · 16/03/2016 05:11

I know I found trigger warnings about still birth helpful from about 7 months. I knew it was possibility but I needed to shield myself during the later parts of pregnacy

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:37

I don't actually want a trigger warning on every live child thread. I agree it would be ridiculous. I just want them off child death threads unless there was indeed a consensus among bereaved parents and that's why it was introduced.

I couldn't post about my daughter on here if any such post would have trigger warning all over it.Regardless of thread title. It would be hurtful and offensive to me. Of course for all I know MNHQ checks with the OP before adding the warning. Hopefully they will come and clarify at some point.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 03:32

No I don't really need to. I wrote a long thread while pregnant with her and finished it when she died at three months. That was enough.

This bugs me so I wanted clarification as to why. Consensus of bereaved parents, fine though I'll remain mystified as to why on threads with clear titles.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 16/03/2016 03:30

I guess it's a majority decision type thing. If the majority were/are of the same opinion as you then it would presumably be implemented.

However, I still think it's completely unrealistic to expect a trigger warning on every live child thread. You obviously don't. We'll have to respectfully disagree.

phequer · 16/03/2016 03:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phequer · 16/03/2016 03:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread