Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Trigger warnings

215 replies

TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 01:58

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/03/2016 12:41

Even inoffensive things can be massively upsetting for some people. It's not that people find it offensive, it's that they find it upsetting. Sometimes things can be upsetting enough to cause panic attacks, or in my case seizures.

There's a difference.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:40

Really, you haven't seen the hundreds of 'I feel terrible about not breastfeeding I've failed my child' type threads. Infact perhaps all child related threads need a warning, I've seen a lot of threads where people with infertility find themselves triggered by children.

I have breast hypoplasia and was unable to fully breastmilk feed my daughter, her death was partially caused by a breastmilk preventable illness. Shouldn't I find happy breastfeeding threads or worse 'why doesn't everyone breastfeed' threads triggering? Fine if they're in the infant feeding topic but what if they're in AIBU or _chat

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:37

but people ask for trigger warnings to be put on inoffensive posts about child death phequer

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/03/2016 12:37

While child death may be relatively common it is absolutely tragic. Domestic violence and rape are also common. It isn't the rarity or not of the topic of the post that means it needs a trigger warning-it's the potential for upset. I'm not sure infant feeding threads really have the same issue.

Sorry for your loss op. Flowers

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:36

I think thread titles used to be clearer actually and there were no such thing as trigger warnings unless added by the poster themselves, in which case fine. I remember _chat starting (was that in 2004?) and it was for mostly irrelevant topics. People used to post parenting topics in the correct section. Not use chat as a catch all and I don't remember the trend for unclear thread titles at that time either,

Of course this site has got much more heavily moderated over the years but if you're moderating you need clear non discriminatory policies.

OP posts:
TeaPleaseLouise · 16/03/2016 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phequer · 16/03/2016 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:32

I agree phequer but plenty of less common parenting topics are accepted here without trigger warnings and child death is pretty damn common.

1 in 4 parents experience pregnancy loss which may mean pregnancy threads are triggering for them and there are 3586 stillbirths a year. Add in losses in infancy, childhood and adulthood and a high percentage of parents will experience the death of one or more of their children.

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/03/2016 12:32

I think it will need more than one poster reporting it to have a trigger warning added.

TeaPleaseLouise · 16/03/2016 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/03/2016 12:30

I think many things end up in Chat because people want a quick response and with vague titles to encourage people to click. It's just the way Mumsnet works and, as far as I can tell, has done since 2004.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:29

That would be fine OneMagnum... I am honestly not planning on browsing the pregnancy topic to report threads on pregnancy or the sleep topic to report threads on 'my baby won't sleep'. Anymore than I imagine those triggered by child death browse the bereavement topic looking for threads to report.

However if a thread on AIBU or chat, has an unclear title and is about a triggering topic for me then I can report and a trigger warning can be added. Or alternatively I'm happy for it to be moved into a more appropriate topic if preferred.

OP posts:
WannaBe · 16/03/2016 12:28

sugar there's no need to apologise. And it's also worth noting that the threads are often reported by people who see the trigger warnings on behalf of others rather than having been triggered by it themselves iyswim.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/03/2016 12:27

or indeed the title clarified.

WannaBe · 16/03/2016 12:26

Tbh though I think that people would write clearer titles if posters didn't jump on them for doing so. I've seen posts along the lines of "child beaten to death by parents," with associated news story and comments attached, and the following 50 posts saying "awful thread title op. Have reported, how dare you write that title, yes it's upsetting but the thread title needs changing.".

And yet if the op posted "parents jailed," and then attached the same story with the same comments the next 50 posts would read "this is awful, but OP you could have put a warning in the thread title. Might want to report this to MN HQ to put a trigger warning on it,". Etc etc.

phequer · 16/03/2016 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/03/2016 12:26

I would think that if someone was asking for triggers to be added enough threads that were causing them anxiety per day so that it was a problem for others, then it would maybe be appropriate for them to either block the majority of topics or stick to ones where they felt safe or simply to take a break and find another forum that was less likely to be causing issues. I don't have a problem with it per se and I don't expect that the OP is intending scanning the topics in order to make a nuisance of themselves. Perhaps if something is in an inappropriate/unexpected topic it would be easier for it to be moved rather than plastering it with "trigger"?

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:24

If only that was the case. It was a thread with a very clear title and then trigger warning added that bugged me enough to start this thread.

And everyday parenting stuff like child death obviously triggers enough posters to add trigger warnings to those posts. Perhaps they should step away from a parenting website if they can't handle the sadly common parenting experience of child death.

OP posts:
sugar21 · 16/03/2016 12:24

I feel awful now. I didn't mean to upset anyone

phequer · 16/03/2016 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phequer · 16/03/2016 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/03/2016 12:21

I think MNHQ tend to add a trigger warning if it's requested by a few/several/many posters, not just one.

I think if everyday parenting stuff is such a trigger for you then you may be better off stepping away from parenting websites for a while.

sugar21 · 16/03/2016 12:20

Oh dear I'm sorry mine wasnt clear

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:19

Thank you Wannabe, I agree. Everyone should write clear thread titles.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread