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Original poster

Trigger warnings

215 replies

TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 01:58

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/03/2016 13:03

This seems a clear non discriminatory policy. I want equality not discrimination.

It isn't discrimination. It's being sensible and putting trigger warnings on those subjects that many, many people would find upsetting (not offensive, upsetting) to read about if it isn't clear from the title.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. In the kindest possible way, I don't think this thread is going to give you what you want.

sugar21 · 16/03/2016 13:03

I am finding this upsetting it makes me feel terrible.

DropYourSword · 16/03/2016 13:01

Nobody seems to have any arguments as to why child death is a special case

Nobody is saying child death alone is a special case. It has however been explained that traumatic events such as death, rape or abuse will generally be found to be upsetting by a larger number of people.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/03/2016 13:01

There is argument to say though OP that your own thread title here is unclear as it's main focus is child deaths and not as general as the title makes out.

I do realise that you are hurting and it must be awful, but your grief cannot police others.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 13:00

I really don't get it why you think it is irrational. I have been pretty clear really

Take trigger warnings off all threads
or
Apply trigger warnings to all threads as requested.

Personally I would add
a don't apply trigger warnings to threads with clear titles
b. don't apply trigger warnings to threads in the appropriate topic.

This seems a clear non discriminatory policy. I want equality not discrimination.

And I have no desire to shout its not fair, why me. We were very lucky, we got three months and we got reasonably adequate medical care. I know how very fortunate we were to have that time and I would do it again tomorrow.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:57

But those people who have experienced child death are also often triggered by threads on babies, children their child's age, pregnancy, birth etc. Why doesn't the kindness and consideration extend to those threads.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:55

MilkTwoSugars- yes if requested (I think applying them on request is a perfectly clear policy that is fine) or indeed not at all, make it clear in the title.

Purple Daisies- I would apply the same to rape. Either we put trigger warnings on request (I'm fine with that if unilaterally applied) or alternatively we write clear thread titles as a courtesy regardless of topic.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 16/03/2016 12:55

Sugar21 please don't feel any need to apologise. You didn't upset anyone.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/03/2016 12:53

I'm guessing it's because people who are triggered by child deaths are people who have experienced it. And surely those people deserve kindness, consideration and maybe a little bit of special treatment. Very few however will go on to be upset about infant feeding.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:52

phequer- of course if you don't want to read it, don't click on it. But if it unclear in the title then you might get unlucky and have to close it quickly as I do with any content that triggers me. Nobody not those sensitive to child death, not those sensitive to birth stories, not those sensitive to infant feeding threads have the right to be pandered to

well actually they do, as long as they all are or else it is discriminatory

and I'm a little tired of you suggesting to me that I need to get help/seek counselling/talk to someone. That seems to me a dismissal of my experiences. And also something commonly used to silence bereaved parents.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/03/2016 12:50

Ah OK (another x-post), I think I see where you're coming from now.

Basically either everything should have a trigger warning or nothing. Yes?

PurpleDaisies · 16/03/2016 12:49

What would you say about adding trigger warnings to threads talking about rape op?

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:49

phequer- too right. I am not actually expecting trigger warnings on every post, not least because I think the over moderating of this site has got ridiculous in recent years but I am expecting no trigger warnings on child death threads unless requested by the OP or to be generous if they have an unclear title.

Nobody seems to have any arguments as to why child death is a special case.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:48

MilkTwoSugars - so why do people who are triggered by child death get special consideration here versus people triggered by say birth stories? Pregnancy, birth, babies are known triggers for a lot of people, why single out child death as 'especially triggering'

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/03/2016 12:46

I think there's a difference in adding trigger warnings for common triggers such as child death, domestic violence and rape, and sticking them on anything that has even the smallest potential to upset anyone.

phequer · 16/03/2016 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 16/03/2016 12:46

Sorry X post there.

I have a "trigger", it's something I am phobic about and I find upsetting, horrible and terrifying. So I stay away from it. I can't always avoid it in RL, but I sure as hell keep off anything online. Occasionally something does come up on here, but that's my problem to deal with. I'm not asking for trigger warnings because it's not something that will trigger many people.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:46

Puuple Daisies and that is exactly my point. You don't have the right to avoid upsetting content! child death is terribly upsetting especially to people who live it. Trigger warnings just contribute to the idea that it needs to be avoided in polite society.

Sure it can trigger some people, particularly people who have had such a terrible experience themselves however so can many other topics. Either all need a trigger warning or none. Singling out child death (and some other topics) is not a reasonable approach.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:43

Yes and I know at least three women for whom breastfeeding caused panic attacks and many who had PTSD following traumatic births who found happy birth stories or even worse bad birth stories triggered their PTSD. Why not trigger warning those threads.

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PurpleDaisies · 16/03/2016 12:42

I've seen a lot of threads where people with infertility find themselves triggered by children.

I'm in that category but I wouldn't request a trigger warning for something that's really my issue. I find scan pictures on Facebook hard to look at but I wouldn't dream of asking for a trigger warning on a thread on here which had a scan picture. Almost everybody will find the death of a child very upsetting content while most people wouldn't mind seeing scan pictures.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 12:42

Breastfeeding 'failure' is a known contributer to significant postnatal depression. Surely women who want should be able to avoid these threads especially if in inappropriate topics or unclearly titled (or both)

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