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Original poster

Trigger warnings

215 replies

TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 01:58

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

OP posts:
sugar21 · 16/03/2016 17:17

I feel I have to say once a trigger is put on there are very few responses compared to pre trigger.

phequer · 16/03/2016 17:15

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phequer · 16/03/2016 17:14

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Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 17:14

Or accept them on every thread who is harmed with a thread says (Trigger warning:contains discussion of babies) or whatever

OP posts:
Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 17:12

Great lets get rid of trigger warnings full stop then.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 17:03

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DangerMouth · 16/03/2016 16:25

And OP I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

Sallystyle · 16/03/2016 15:49

I agree with you OP.

Thanks
Zucker · 16/03/2016 14:37

Completely understand what your saying OP. It's used as a cloak the site can hide "bad things" such as child death under. We can avert our eyes and pretend it doesn't happen. Clearer thread titles all round would help I think.

As for the people kindly suggesting the OP is somehow not knowing how they're feeling or needs "help" ffs stop.

MissBeaHaving · 16/03/2016 14:25

This thread is just going around in circles.Blush

I don't think people will ever agree as grief is so very personal in every individual case so what triggers me won't necessarily trigger others as has become obvious on this thread.

I'm so sorry for your loss PhequerThanks
I'm sorry for everyone on here who has suffered the death of a child,it's soul destroying.Thanks

WhatKatyDidnt · 16/03/2016 14:16

Good article itsallgoingtobefime

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/03/2016 14:13

I have empathy for your experience but where is your empathy for mine? Some days I can't handle a thread on breastfeeding, on 3mo development, on starting solids? If you get a trigger warning why don't I? Are your sensitivities more important.

This is a very very good point. A major problems with trigger warnings is that they create a hierarchy - why does^ MN think OPs problems with threads about young babies are less than those who have problems with threads concerning dead babies? How can MNHQ possibly decide that the OPs grief at such threads is lesser?

Goingtobeawesome · 16/03/2016 14:13

Prequer - I wasn't saying that Sad. I was merely trying to help see the OP's point of view.

AloraRyger · 16/03/2016 14:12

The way I see it is that absolutely anything posted here has the potential to be 'triggering' for someone.

For the OP, threads about infant feeding or sleepless babies are upsetting.

For another PP, threads about infant loss are upsetting.

For me, the words 'anyone with half a brain' are triggering and upsetting because my child died of a brain malformation that meant she had little brain tissue.

For another PP, a thread about spiders might be triggering and upsetting - in days gone by I vaguely recall that spiders were referred to as loofahs to avoid triggering those with severe arachnophobia.

So many things are triggering and upsetting for so many different people that potentially there could end up being trigger warnings on every single thread.

Clearer thread titles and less fuss about those clear thread titles would be preferable in my eyes and I totally understand where the OP is coming from

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/03/2016 14:10

I'm kind of with OP.

Trigger warnings have gone mad. As a PP said either every thread should have a trigger warning, or none. Everybody could be "triggered" by something.

This is quite a good read:
www.newstatesman.com/sci-tech/2013/01/why-i-dont-agree-trigger-warnings

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 14:08

I agree the trauma of losing a child is like no other. On January 1st I removed the mask sustaining my daughter's life, watched her heart rate drop, kissed her, watched her body gasp in its last desperate attempt at life and held her as she died. If we're having a 'grief competition' here I get it.

I have empathy for your experience but where is your empathy for mine? Some days I can't handle a thread on breastfeeding, on 3mo development, on starting solids? If you get a trigger warning why don't I? Are your sensitivities more important.

MNHQ please could you actually clarify your policy. I certainly could never post about my daughter on this site if a trigger warning would be put across the thread.

I have requested a trigger warning on this thread btw for the benefit of those posters it is upsetting.

OP posts:
EDisFunny · 16/03/2016 14:01

phequer Flowers I completely see where you're coming from and why this has been upsetting; I agree with what you've posted.

Condolences for all who have suffered a loss.

MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 16/03/2016 13:58

We don't want to upset you OP, we're not in the business of upsetting anyone.

To reiterate we look at each report on case-by-case basis,
Hope this helps
Kindest
MNHQ

WhatKatyDidnt · 16/03/2016 13:57

I probably didn't make it clear but I don't think any posts should have "trigger warning" plastered on it. A clear title is enough.

phequer · 16/03/2016 13:57

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phequer · 16/03/2016 13:56

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phequer · 16/03/2016 13:55

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PurpleDaisies · 16/03/2016 13:54

I agree going but surely it would be ridiculous for bog standard threads on infant feeding to carry a trigger warning?

WhatKatyDidnt · 16/03/2016 13:54

I don't think the current system of applying trigger warnings only to those topics deemed worthy is the right approach. Those who have experienced real trauma will know that many, many things - from the obvious to the mundane - can spark a rush of unwelcome flashbacks or feelings. It is unpredictable and inconsistent.

IMO the only way to show consideration and empathy for all is to use very clear titles and place posts in the appropriate topic area.

Goingtobeawesome · 16/03/2016 13:53

I think the point about infant feeding is that it is another part of life that now won't happen for the bereaved parents.

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