Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Trigger warnings

215 replies

TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 01:58

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phequer · 16/03/2016 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose · 16/03/2016 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UbiquityTree · 16/03/2016 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phequer · 16/03/2016 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sallystyle · 16/03/2016 19:11

I don't like trigger warnings. I don't want life, whether real or virtual, sanitised. It's a normal human reaction to be upset or disturbed by some of the awful stuff which happens to people and communities. 'Words on a screen' can have a profound effect. Child death is upsetting, but it is part of life. It's right to be upset. Parents like the OP shouldn't be expected to be filtered behind warnings to talk about their experience.

I was trying to think of a way to word how I feel about this.

You have just said it perfectly. If I was a bereaved parent I think I would feel awful to have a trigger warning on my thread title.

sugar21 · 16/03/2016 19:00

phequer I wouldn't want you to open my thread if it upsets you. I just mentioned that threads get less response with a trigger.
I don't know what the answer is

phequer · 16/03/2016 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrAmandaBentley · 16/03/2016 18:26

Well if the title is changed it has to be done with the agreement of the poster themselves. IMO the way things are done now, it almost comes across as saying "well we shouldn't really be talking about this...here" and it does seem when people see a warning they are less inclined to read or respond, on the off chance they are upset by it.

I don't think there should be any warnings, unless there are graphic images for example. But I can't see the current approach being changed anytime soon.

PolterGoose · 16/03/2016 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gisla · 16/03/2016 18:19

Surely it is about the number of people who are also likely to be affected by a subject which determines when it is sensible to add a trigger warning or not. So child death, rape, dv for example is likely to upset many more people than a debate about weaning or GCSE choices (for example).

phequer · 16/03/2016 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phequer · 16/03/2016 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrAmandaBentley · 16/03/2016 18:03

I agree with Alora 100%. Titles need to be clearer. I would prefer a title to be altered, over a label.

I don't believe it is fair to isolate those who want to share their experiences by negatively labelling them a 'trigger'. If you come to a parenting/relationship site, you should expect to be exposed to all experiences, and if you don't wish to be exposed to certain topics, hide the thread or just don't read through it.

I'm pregnant and when I see miscarriage/stillbirth threads, I don't ask for them to be censored to suppress my own anxieties. I accept that these things can and do happen and believe it is the right thing to allow people to openly discuss it.

phequer · 16/03/2016 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 17:39

No phequr I never suggested you have. It would be unreasonable for me though to suggest a thread about your son needed a trigger warning because I have lost my daughter. It's your thread it's not about me. If I can't handle it right now then I can hope the title makes the subject clear or if not then I will have to leave it once I figure out the subject.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 17:37

Sorry Xposr. Thanks Olivia, so to clarify if I come across an unclearly titled thread in a general area that mentions say poorly sleeping babies you would be willing to apply a trigger warning?

I promise I have no intention of reporting threads in relevant topics. My issue if I click on them or threads where the topic is relevant in the title. Infact apart from this thread I can't remember when I last reported a thread

OP posts:
sugar21 · 16/03/2016 17:34

I can understand that my thread with the trigger is detailing my dds death so obviously posters will be upset at a childs death. None moreover than the Parent. Now there have been threads about meningitis vaccine that I have found upsetting because dd died from that illness.
However I have been very involved with the meningitis petition, so have put up with a lot of erm things. If those threads had a trigger on them how would I have got the brilliant responses.
Not really sure what the answer is.

phequer · 16/03/2016 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 17:32

Though this thread it getting circular so guess I'll wait for MNHQ to clarify their policy.

OP posts:
MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 16/03/2016 17:32

@TheDisillusionedAnarchist

And that sugar is the best argument for getting rid of them.

I'm still not actually clear what MNHQ policy is since they have given two different policies on one thread. If their policy is the second I am frankly disgusted with them. It is grossly offensive and means I and others I know can never share about our children on here. Hopefully they will come on and clarify.

Hi there
Apologies if we have been less than clear here.

We really hope that you aren't disgusted with us - we work very hard to ensure that we read every single report that comes in and try and apply our guidelines and indeed the spirit of Mumsnet to each of them,

We react to each request to apply a trigger warning on a case by case basis - that said we don't want to upset anyone and so usually if we've had a request, and we can see why it would be distressing to someone we would edit/amend a thread title.

Of course we would prefer if people were clear in their thread titles etc but we understand that people are often more interested in getting their post up asap.

Kindest wishes to you OP - so sorry about the loss of your DD
OliviaMN

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 17:31

No it means the feelings of the person going through the experience is more important than anyone else's feelings. If the thread title is not clear then fine MNHQ can reword it so those who want to avoid the subject can.

But huge trigger warnings are offensive unless applied equally to all triggering subjects.

OP posts:
phequer · 16/03/2016 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 16/03/2016 17:24

And that sugar is the best argument for getting rid of them.

I'm still not actually clear what MNHQ policy is since they have given two different policies on one thread. If their policy is the second I am frankly disgusted with them. It is grossly offensive and means I and others I know can never share about our children on here. Hopefully they will come on and clarify.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread