Do you use private messaging on Mumsnet? Tell us why or why not.

Yes use to speak to mnetters on long running threads.

Miss it on the App

A pain to sign in to desk top just to PM

If YES:

1. What type of things do you message for? providing/asking for more info, over sharing/boasting, offering help

1. How often do you use messaging? Is this more or less than in the past? less since I had to delete everything after the hack

1. What sort of messaging contact do you have with other Mumsnetters - a) Regular; b) As needed; c) One off ; d) A combination of these all sorts & it was lots of fun

I use Pm,s quite often. It was particularly handy when I was sorting out my Janet and Roy last year. I gave my writer some details which I wouldn't post on a thread. And also if a poster on any regular thread I'm on wants to speak to me in private or vice versa. I did,along with two other Mumsnetters get some horrible Pm,s a couple of years ago from a person who said they were going to commit suicide and had taken an overdose. It was reported to MNHQ.

No.

Becuase it changes the dynamic of the communication. I come here becuase it's not like real life. I pick it up and put it down as it suits my energy level, my time commitments, my desire to do so.

Making MN about personal correspondence would make it like RL. Which is basically me feeling persistently hunted by emails, texts and calls .. all wanting a piece of me in their timeframe.

It's not that the people in my life are particularly stroppy or demanding. But I feel rude if I don't get back to people promptly. Even when I'd rather flop and argue the toss with strangers on the Internet.

1. Things I don't want to post, so if I have a personal recommendation to pass on and it's a sensitive subject I won't post on the thread but I have pm'ed the reply.

People often PM me to ask about my writing career.

Sometimes to guess who I am (sometimes a journo)... But mostly to ask for advice with their own writing.

Sometimes people PM about DC's school.

I once in a previous incarnation had a complete nutter endlessly PMing me about how she thought I needed counselling . Only one of us, love.

Looking back I see that I have had 4 since April.
One thanking me for information I had given on a thread and 2 saying they understood what I was trying to say and agreed with me and one telling me they suspected there had been a 'call to arms' on a thread and the FB group had arrived in force.

Yes, to have conversations with friends on here where we do not want it to be open to the world/bore other people. We could just use FB messenger or text, but when you are already on MN, it is often easier.

I have pm to 3 people to offer practical assistance after they have posted.

I have also received a PM from a lady who is going through a similar experience after I asked a question on her post.

That is in a period of 2 years.

It has always been a very positive experience to me.

I like it just fine as it is - easy and clear. Don;t fiddle with it!

1. Yes. If I feel moved to offer information or support that might out me on a thread. Now that I've been here a while any PM conversation would be about something in the real world - never to bitch about other posters. I've learnt to walk away from anything that seriously annoys me on a thread!

1. Not often. No more nor less than in the past. Since Jeffrey I'm probably more circumspect even off thread.

1. Certainly not regular. Generally PMs need more than one each way to be useful. But sometimes a one off message is sufficient.

It's a useful function to have and adds depth to the whole MN experience. But it's horrible to use! One really needs to be able to see the whole conversation while writing.

Aww you guys! Have had two pms

No. I don't see the need to. It's an anonymous forum so why would I want to send a 'private' message? All feels a bit cliquey to me.
I've only ever received one and that was an offensive 'joke'.

Yes.
Sometimes to give support. Sometimes it's because a post will get lost in a thread that has become a bunfight. Sometimes it's a response to a recent NCer where I don't wish to out their NC. To say "Thank you".

Not very often. No more often now than before.

One off or as needed.

Minty, I have been accused of sending a nasty PM. I didn't. I have since seen the same poster accuse others of doing this. I think they just like the "oh hun how terrible" messages that they are soliciting. I no longer believe posters who accuse others of nasty pms unless they reproduce tgem.

I don't like that. If there's a debate going on, why not join in and put your own view forward?

SomEtimes there isn't a debate going on. It's just page 27 of a handful of posters with apparently bottomless time and energy screaming repeatedly at the internet "I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS, IF YOU WEAR FLUFFY SLIPPERS YOUR CHILDREN SHOULD BE TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO HELL. ANYONE WHO CONTRADICTS ME IS A BULLY."

Usually in response to an OP like "My DM has just passed away, AIBU to wear her nearly new fluffy slippers in memory of her?"

Not really at the moment. Under a previous incarnation I used it for the World Cup sticker swap thread and I would possibly use it again for something similar, but I can't see me using it for anything else.

No (except when replying to PMs I have been sent - have never initiated a conversation).

Why not? I like to remain anonymous, so would never share personal info on board or off. Plus, its a bit weird and creepy to offer support/ comments etc off board - why not say it on the board.

No because i mainly use the iphone app.

I use it rarely, but when I do it is to talk to someone on a thread about something that is at a bit of a tangent and don't want to derail the thread.

I used to use it to offer support when it was a sensitive subject, and my advice / life experience would out me in RL if public.
Some very kind MNers have in the past done the same for me, and have also offered donated cast off SN items.

I no longer use it since The Hack as PMs were accessed and it spooked me.

Do you use private messaging on Mumsnet?

Yes, a fair bit.

If YES:

1. What type of things do you message for?

1. How often do you use messaging? Is this more or less than in the past?

1. What sort of messaging contact do you have with other Mumsnetters - a) Regular; b) As needed; c) One off ; d) A combination of these