Do you use private messaging on Mumsnet? Tell us why or why not.

IT is actually quite scary to stick your head above the parapet and say something against the majority - I can quite see why the don't. I can be on threads where I have to steel myself to go back- some posters can be unpleasant - as in 'can you read or are you being deliberately obtuse?'! Or 'why are you still posting?'. MN is very like the school playground and it can be nice to get a little private support.

What type of things do you message for
Something personal. If I know the poster or have something to say that I don't want to share. If I want an address to send to.

How often do you use messaging? Is this more or less than in the past
Rarely.

What sort of messaging contact do you have with other Mumsnetters
One off.

If people are too scared to post their view on an utterly anonymous forum, and prefer to huddle together behind other posters backs, in secret, then they need to have a word with themselves!

I find that is the main use Toughasoldboots. You get a thread dominated by a particular point of view, so much so that it looks like a majority. It is great to get PMs from the people 'too scared to post' but support your point of view.

If we didn't get this I would like a 'like' button because there are lots of lurkers who won't post but would support. It would be nice if those who dominate a thread could be shown that actually quite a lot of people have an opposing view.

I used it a couple of weeks back as an OP on a thread had a similar name to one of my old ones and was getting mistaken for the old me. It's most disconcerting to see somebody posting with what, at first glance, is your name.

I used to use it, but the new app is sans DM same with the search function!

It doesn't seem to be possible from the app so I can't.

1. Usually message to reply to PM's I have received or to see how a poster is who I have had previous contact with either on or off thread. Occasionally may contact someone via PM rather than on a thread if it's something that doesn't relate to a specific thread or if I think it might be something a poster wishes wasn't said on thread. Have also chatted in more detail about my own threads which I haven't wished to say on thread for outing reasons.

1. It varies how often I use messaging. Probably use it less than I did as I received a lot of PM's last year when I went through something traumatic which I posted about on here. Some of the women I regularly exchanged PM's with I now speak to away from the site.

1. Messaging contact is a combination of fairly regular or one offs but it does vary.

Being able to sort PM's into Folders would be most welcome. Even the creation of one additional folder would be fantastic so they could be organised and moved around a little easier. Lots of gin and would head your way.

Yes, as and when needed.

To share stuff I might think helpful but that I don't want on a thread

To link to a thread for regular posters on it

To 'talk' to other bra gurus posters or offer detailed info specific to them that would take the thread off topic.

It's interesting that some people are assuming you have to be "friends" with someone to PM them. I've never seen it like that. Quite happy to exchange messages with a poster I may never have come across before - generally because I think I have something unique and valuable to say. To me it's a sort of halfway house - one can write at more length perhaps and include stuff you wouldn't want all of Google to read - but it's not corresponding with a friend. If I were to give someone my email or phone number that would be on the way to friendship.

Don't use it because its a pain in the butt on the mobile site

Sorry sparkling.

I think it's because I name change often (especially since I was on the list) and I get all paranoid when I get a PM regarding a non-current username.

I use it very rarely, and just for one off messages. I've occasionally pm'd someone to give them a bit of support if they've been having a hard time on a thread, and once or twice to update someone I've been chatting to.

Missed the second part of 2.
I don't really use PM that much, not significantly more or less than in the past.

Yes, I do.

1. What type of things do you message for?

1. How often do you use messaging?

Is this more or less than in the past?

1. What sort of messaging contact do you have with other Mumsnetters - a) Regular; b) As needed; c) One off ; d) A combination of these

1. What type of things do you message for?

1. How often do you use messaging? Is this more or less than in the past?

1. What sort of messaging contact do you have with other Mumsnetters - a) Regular; b) As needed; c) One off ; d) A combination of these

I hate it.

My heart sinks when I see I have a PM. I always reply (nicely) but I hate doing so. It's always entirely innocuous stuff - I am not exactly a controversial poster. I have never instigated a PM with another poster.

For me, it crosses a line and I would like to be able to register as unavailable for PMs.

Very rarely.
the whole point is that it's a discussion thread, so I make any point I wish to make, on the thread.

A few times a year. Mostly Woolly Hugs, occasionally offering help to people or asking specific advice (e.g. 'I think you live near me, which is that amazing shop you mention?'). Planning off-board meet-ups.

Occasionally in former days I've used it for moaning about posters but these days I have learnt not to get carried away by annoying threads.

I very rarely PM, mainly because I don't really know anyone on here. If I do PM it's because I have something private to say, to share a story or to offer support.

I always feel like a right billy-no-mates when I hear about all the PMs flying about.