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MNHQ

Exciting announcement - Mumsnet to run NHS maternity wards

90 replies

JustineMumsnet · 01/04/2014 08:38

We're thrilled to announce that Mumsnet is going to be leading the NHS trial to outsource maternity wards - see the full announcement here. Over the next few weeks we'll be popping up regularly for feedback on how you'd like maternity wards to operate and to hone our plans. The aim is simple - to make the UK maternity wards the envy of the world. Move over Bounty, it's time for #MNHS!

OP posts:
BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 01/04/2014 12:17

FlowersGrinFlowers

The Orange One can run the creche for older siblings.
He could teach them to sing!

StampyIsMyBoyfriend · 01/04/2014 12:08

I'd like free yoni massages to prepare for birth, and bouncers on the doors, to prevent unwelcome in-laws!

tribpot · 01/04/2014 11:43

The concept of Peter and Gwyneth together is untapped showbiz gold, BrainSurgeon. I see them appearing on TVs on the wards in the way that I believe our good friend Mr Lansley used to - or perhaps in realistic cardboard cutouts like the woman at Kings Cross that reminds you not to take your luggage on the escalator.

Rosa · 01/04/2014 11:42

08.05 Mumsnet are taking over NHS maternity wards, and about time too if their promises of 'gin bars', free WiFi and queen beds with luxury goosedown mattress toppers are true. (They're not true but you know what we mean.) No mention of sparkling water-filled penis beakers next to every bed but Mumsnet CEO Justine Roberts does reveal:
For some, the most important part of the experience will be access to a brazilian blow-dry in order to be salon-ready for the baby photos, and our mission is to facilitate that choice.

Good one

mummylin2495 · 01/04/2014 11:41

I forgot it was April fools day and believed it !

BrainSurgeon · 01/04/2014 11:29

We could bring in Peter Andre to talk to expecting fathers about what it's like to love your children so much

Giddypants · 01/04/2014 11:29

I would like someone to give me a round of applause, glass of champagne and chocolate truffles just after baby arrives!

BrainSurgeon · 01/04/2014 11:28

Aaaargh let me think for a minute I'm sure I'll come up with some more brilliant ideas. Currently busy wiping tears Grin
[not marking place, oh no..]

Norem · 01/04/2014 11:15

Love it!
Can't wait to work in one, am a mw.
How about screening male doctors too.....only George Clooney, Bradley cooper types may apply, loooovly.
Also don't forget manicure, pedicure, hairdressing services, always make me feel better.

CalamitouslyWrong · 01/04/2014 11:07

Well, I think we need to be careful about which bits we'd be giving gwyneth responsibility for. Hideously twee naming policies: yes, absolutely. Ridiculously poncy new age crap: who else? Drinks and entertainment: no way in hell.

motherinferior · 01/04/2014 11:01

I also second tribpot's idea for a gas'n'air drop-in. Speaking as the only person who sampled it and then had to dragged away when touring maternity wards.

tribpot · 01/04/2014 10:51

Gwyneth absolutely is the spokesperson for this initiative. Although I think then gin might be out and mung bean juice mixed on Tibetan hilltops might be in.

spiderlight · 01/04/2014 10:49

Grin Grin Grin

ScrambledSmegs · 01/04/2014 10:49

Dedication to the cause, Juggling Wink

PiggyPlumPie · 01/04/2014 10:45

Grin Love it HQ!

Leo35 · 01/04/2014 10:44

Fab - and congrats on the press release starting out so convincingly!!!

JugglingFromHereToThere · 01/04/2014 10:44

Grin @ "as I type" ScrambledSmegs

ScrambledSmegs · 01/04/2014 10:42

What a good idea! I'm so excited that I'm ttc DC3 as I type!

Wait... this IS real, isn't it? I'm sure you'll want to offer me compensation in respect to my dashed expectations.

CalamitouslyWrong · 01/04/2014 10:42

We might need to ask Gwenneth Paltrow to help us come up with a suitably nauseating alternative to midwives. She strikes me as the woman for the job.

RaRaTheNoisyLion · 01/04/2014 10:41

And a climate-controlled woodland greenhouse for those who want to give birth in a treehouse!!!

CbeebiesIsAboutToPop · 01/04/2014 10:40

Cervix you have my vote!

JugglingFromHereToThere · 01/04/2014 10:38

You just got the job AtYourCervix Smile

AtYourCervix · 01/04/2014 10:36

Single roms.

Double beds.

Proper continuity of care.

Insurance for Independent midwives.

Doctors that give proper balanced information and respect and support your choices.

Free study days and training for staff.

Antenatal education sessions.

Postnatal visits as often as women want and need them for 28 days.

A referral system to other agencies that is quick and efficient.

Vending machines that sell lucozade, flapjacks and those nifty little cans of G&T

RaRaTheNoisyLion · 01/04/2014 10:32

And they shoukd all know how to knit!

motherinferior · 01/04/2014 10:31

I really think we should rename them 'midpartners'!