TDWP and recent goings-on

somebody should write a novel......

Nooo I hate eco terrorist stuff.

Isn't there anything else on?

It's not just TWDP, it is Lola, CVQ, WWW and the one whose name I cannot remember who posted about having a seriously ill baby which then died (and whose details she piggybacked off a genuine poster). Then there are posters like HW who posted about horrific events but then didn't like it when RL intervened to offer support. I think we need an emoticon of a googled-eyed face for this sort of stuff.

I think the best thing for TDWP to do now is to keep off MN and take up the support she is being given at the refuge- FWIW I do believe she is experiencing real difficulties, but MN is not going to help her.

I imagine that it unlikely that she will easily make the break with this place knowing that there are threads all over the place being posted referring to her: it's difficult enough sometimes tearing yourself away to engage with RL, never mind when you can feel your ears burning.

Least said, soonest mended and all that. If anybody needs a good drama this weekend, I can recommend the finale of The Bridge on BBC4

and I am trying to word that as not to say the victim - any victim - is inviting their abuse, or causing it.

A victim is still a victim whatever their outgoing behaviour.

This is the thing

When a person is in a destructive, abusive relationship it does not necessarily follow that they are incapable of abuse/destructiveness themselves.

And often when a person has an inability to care for themselves, they are particularly liable to hurt others who try to assist along the way, because it is simply what they do.

It's the only way they know how to live.

Other victims are just that - victims - and are not able to, or liable to, destroy those around them who are good.

But some victims just spread the abuse they are receiving.

the thing is, it's a bit like catching your kids lying isn't it. We teach them that if they lie then that makes them impossible to believe in the future. And one day they may tell the truth about something important, but because they are known to be liers no-one will believe them.

TDWP pretended to be her h posting aggressively that he had read all her threads. She posted that he had locked her out of the house and she was unable to get in. Thing is every time she posted something she had the threads deleted as soon as someone suspected under the pretence that her h may be reading, or she posted in chat, so there is no evidence of the kind of bullshit she posted here.

If you lie once about dv what's to stop you lying again. Why on earth would I believe someone who had made up such bollocks in the past? It's an insult to real victims.

Maybe she needs help - of the mental health variety. But mn is not the place to gain that help...

And she has spread so much poison and hatred and vileness around these boards in the past (and no, I was not drawn in by her so this isn't personal) that frankly I can't bring myself to care if her life is that sad... (bearing in mind I think her dv tale is bollocks).

I really doubt anyone who realised/suspected it waS TDWP 'lied" as such. I see it as they didn't care if it was her, someone needed help and they were happy to give it.

How pointing out that the help given was dangerous/silly/irresponsible can be seen as bullying or vitriol I don't know.

I think you are right Pancake, yes she caused chaos and unhappiness of a rather nasty variety, but I also think that is who she was and is IRL.

'" I think some long term and well known posters did know exactly who it was but for some reason I still cannot fathom chose to give her story credence"'

But if that's the case and you're referring to Rhubarb, that would mean she is lying about not realising who it was this time.

And I don't think Rhubarb is capable of lying.

It isn't about people being judged; it is everything about people investing their emotions and life experiences to offer support to someone who is writing fiction.

It is very very hard for those posters who may have shared hugely personal experiences to deal with the fall out that always happens in these cases. It makes me mad as MN is full of wonderfully supportive posters who do amazing things.

These trolls want to cause as much upset and damage as they can and it is really disappointing when others join in who should know better.

I was around too when TWDP was here. I know she caused mayhem, was inventive with her posts, lied, and caused upset to some.

But I think her life reflected the destructive person she was on here and I still wonder about her and hope her life improved. I guess this post suggests her life hasnt improved and is still chaotic.

Sorry, I meant, I honestly wasn't commenting on TDWP, that was the reason for me saying I never got sucked in and was too new to have done so.

I'm commenting in the abstract, because it might need saying for people who suddenly worry they'll be judged. It's not me saying I think trolling is ok, or anything close to that. Just that, IMO, the storylines that get worked up into massive, emotional, manipulative ones work because they are also stories that happen in real life.

LRD a lot of what TWDP posted was pure fiction. Same as the other prolific and well known trolls.

I probably shouldn't post because I never got sucked in by TDWP, I was too new.

I do believe it is perfectly possible, and actually very likely, for someone who is struggling to go from one abusive partner to another. It's common. From the little I understand I think this is a real woman with real difficulties.

I'm not defending what happened, just saying that is absolutely doesn't make someone implausible if they have repeated problems. I really think it matters. The issue isn't that she's 'trolling' in the sense of being entirely unreal. It's that posters mustn't be dragged into danger by this sort of thing. You can be highly manipulative and also truthful about circumstances, just like in real life.

WannaBe, that is exactly how I remember it all and in the middle of all that was the hurt that she caused, turning regular posters against each other, shit stirring and using their own innermost thoughts/personal recollections against them.

She was poison. One of the people she hurt has chosen to forgive her, or at least to give her another chance. She is a better person than I, because I couldn't do that. She needs help, that's for sure, but not on MN.

And no, I don't believe this years story, either.

" I think some long term and well known posters did know exactly who it was but for some reason I still cannot fathom chose to give her story credence"

^This.

Yes and yes and yes.

I agree bisjo. And that is what does not compute for me, and never will.

confused

wannaBe I think some long term and well known posters did know exactly who it was but for some reason I still cannot fathom chose to give her story credence.

I posted a link to Stars' thread on the other thread of this morning as I think it shows MN at its best. I don't think this thread or last week's or the one of this morning do.

I am another to agree with HoneyDragon.

Honeydragon
I agree with you. And she is likely laughing her head off at causing all this upset.

but those of us who knew tdwp of old would have been immediately suspicious... Because the previous ex was also abusive, apparently. For months and months and months she posted about him. And there were threads posted by him, having discovered her posts, apparently. And one Friday night she even posted that she had got home and he had locked her out of the house (but she had time to post on mumsnet so it would seem). People were suspicious then but nothing was done, because nothing could be proved.

Then she left, apparently. then she was still sleeping with him, and then I have no idea what happened to her but next we knew he was given custody of the kids and she was an addict of some sort. And somewhere in the mix her ability to namechange was revoked. And in general she was a bitch who was pretty nasty to everyone apart from when she was dramatizing and attention seeking.

I remember very distinctly posting on a very emotive thread about a poster's decision over whether or not to have a termination, and her response was to point out my one and only spelling mistake... she was similar to everyone in that regard.

I don't believe for one minute there is an abusive hammer-wielding partner. so sue me.

This all reminds me of this great and engaging and scary talk by Tom Scott - www.tomscott.com/mob/ - about how things can go badly quickly.

I remember the skirt thread, even though I missed this. For some reason it brings to mind that damn red rug of Titania's (? might have the name wrong).

Having read this it seems that the people involved in this. The people on the threads and indeed the people who own the site cannot make head nor tale of this.

There is only one common denominator in all the head scratching. You won't ever get too the truth of the matter because the truth was sparse to non existent.

People have been used by TDWP before. And people, I'm sure will be used again by her, here and elsewhere.

I've been around when people were hurt and confused the last time, she simply doesn't care, about any of you. I am sure she believed she was in a desperate situation, but she always is, and always does.

There are so many good and kind Mnetters on here, I don't want to see any of them damaged or harmed when there is no need for it. Ever.

And that thread was harmful. As Eve said one Mnetter openly commented she would not rely on WA or the police as a result of what people posted on that thread about that situation, how many more who read it might too the same?

The implications of that thread are wider and more grave than just a couple of posters who have had their feelings hurt.

Coconutty, Til sunbeams was TDWP. She said so herself on a later thread.