getting together information and support for EVERYONE in the child protection system

Hi everyone - Big News!!

I've now moved the site to childprotectionresource.org.uk its still looking pretty basic but in the next few days should hopefully be snazzed up a bit.

I don't know is they even exist but I think it would be great to see some studies or facts about the effect on children who are witnesses to dv.

My personal experience and what I have seen a lot of both on here and elsewhere is (in the majority of cases) mothers honestly believing that if their child isn't being physically abused or neglected that living in an environment where the father or mother's partner is abusive towards her is ok.

I have lost count if the times I've heard 'yes but he would never hurt the kids' or 'he's only like it with me because i do x, y or z' or even 'I'm protecting them, I'd never let him harm them'. I think many mothers in these situations feel that they can love their child enough to compensate for a poor father.

I think a huge issue is understanding that from a child protection point of view minimising, excusing or not acknowledging that abuse in the household ALWAYS effects the child. I completely sympathise with these women who to some extent are being blamed by SS when they haven't committed any abuse themselves and are very vulnerable but I think that ultimately child protection services always have to put the child before the parents.

I think having clear studies and facts demonstrating the impact that these environments have on children may possibly help some parents who are in denial about the damage being caused to their children and help them engage with SS.

www.jrf.org.uk/publications/parenting-support-need

Just came across this really interesting piece of research from the Joseph Rowntree Foundation which looks at "How health, education and family practitioners assess what support parents might need".

It also considers if and how these ideas were affected by factors such as practitioners' own experience of being a parent, relationships with their own parents, their ethnicity, social class, disability, and gender and that of the families they are working with. The project draws on 54 qualitative interviews with practitioners from four professional groups.

The study explores:

- the process for assessing parenting and parenting support need
- views on the nature of 'good', 'good enough' and 'risky' parenting
- the role played by practitioner and family diversity, reflection and training in this area.

I am awestruck at what you have done here - great work.

Anything I can do to help?

Gratuitous bump because I think what you are doing is brilliant but have no expertise to add.

just want to say that this is a brilliant thing you are all doing. I wish I could help. My only involvement with SS has been looking after children when they had nowhere else to place them fir a night or two.

I should have caught up with the thread before sending a pm to Spero!

That link is briliiant - it should be given to all parents as a kind of booklet. It's really easy to read and not patronising. I wish I'd had it, I really do. I've got tears wishing I'd got better educated and less defensive and angry.

Regarding significant harm, yes, it is clear and comprehensible to me. Would it be worth pointing out that they often need a lot of detail to make this decision? This is horrible and shameful and terrible to write about, but when I'd been drinking in charge of my little 4 yo DD, they wanted to know all the details about what DD was doing, whether she'd been given food or entertainment etc. The details are the bits that torture me but they are so necessary.

Not sure if it's helpful but I found this link really useful at explaining the procedures in a clear and factual way.

www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/protecting-the-vulnerable/care-proceeding-reform/parents-pack.pdf

I have no knowledge/experience to add here but just wanted to say how awesome you all are, especially Spero, for doing this. I am in total awe of how amazing this place is at times. Watching all this unfold, to get to here and beyond, is truly fantastic.

No problem I don't have access to a PC until Monday can you pm me an email address and I'll send you something.

Oooh, how did I miss all this going on?!

The new site looks great. I'm struggling on what I can contribute, will have a think. Maybe something on the official statistics (ie not the "many thousands" airy fairy numbers often bandied around)?

I think it's a wonderful idea. I'm currently in a situation where my dn is under a child protection order initially due to concerns over his dm's partner and now also because of emotional harm. My DB lives with me so I'm very involved in dm's life but not strictly speaking in the care proceedings. We are at the stage where DB and Dm have had a letter before proceedings and have signed a contract about what behavior is required.

I have found some fantastic advise on mn although I have often had to separate the wheat from the chaff (and I was often only able to do this by 'knowing' certain posters and their background). The web in General seems to only have legal information (in mainly technical terms) or unhelpful and dangerous suggestions from conspiracy theorists.

I would love to help but I'm not sure in what capacity, possibly as an extended family members perspective of proceedings?

Ah yes, "transparency" is the new watch word you know

No Spero - honestly, this means an awful lot to me. I'm teary reflecting on how far I've come, how hard I've worked, and for the first time in my life I am proud of myself. I just want to help other parents to know they've done everything in their power to keep their children safe and in their lives, in whatever capacity.

• the only thing I would take out of the quote from me is the "even posting here" bit, just as there's no ref to where "here" is