getting together information and support for EVERYONE in the child protection system

Wow, Spero it's looking great!

Let me know if I can contribute in any way, I'd be happy to write something

Great will do! Will be a draft by mid week if that's ok? My Ds had an op on Friday so I don't have any time today or tomorrow - but Id love to do something to help disabled parents negotiate the confusion and worries that go along with trying to get help from ss.

I can write something about my experiences, and the knowledge I've picked up on the way. Plus references and links that are useful. Although I'm not a lawyer I did get extensive legal help as part of my journey so I'll include some of that where helpful. I have helped others I've met through forums etc and so will remind myself if what specifically was helpful to them as well as myself.

I know the level of confusion, misinformation and 'fobbing off' which happens unless you are really clear on what should be happening. I am also very familiar with the terror in realizing you are so poorly you need help and yet are scared that turning to ss for help could end up with 'having your child taken away'.

So many people end up refusing help or not even approaching ss for help in the first place. It's so sad and so needless.

The gap I have in my knowledge is working directly with children's services (as opposed to adult social services). It's taken 2.5 years of constant effort to educate adult services in their roles and responsibilities towards disabled parents, so am having a breather before I start on the next battle!

I'll have a go at a myth busting section this afternoon. PM if you have any specific issues to include beyond the headline "SS have targets and paid bonuses to snatch blonde babies for middle class families to adopt"

I will contact the CLA for their input, no problem.

I would have thought that advice from people who have actually been there (please remember, the parents are not actually the primary victims of this) would be the most useful thing? Perhaps along the lines of 'tips from kids in care'?
I can think of a thousand things that adults could/should have done differently, and I'm sure most other care leavers can too. Eg. to try REALLY hard not to criticise their family, no matter what they have done, to not patronise them - these young people are often far more astute than your average child, to not make them choose between one living situation and another, unless in can be done without the fear of upsetting one person or another, etc.

Links would be very useful, for young people as well as adults. Children Act, etc.
Also info re. accessing files etc.

Spero I think this is turning into a very much need and highly valuable resource which will be hugely reassuring to many.

I am a huge fan of inclusive and cross-learning between service users (for want of a better word) and professionals, and have worked professionally in this area, albeit not currently active at present.

My only remaining concern at this stage is how we include the lessons from cases which are protected under court restrictions (and might have been for some years already, with some years left to go). Clearly birth family cannot speak out where this is the case, and is probably where a lot of the fears and concern about conspiracy etc is rooted.

I am not for a minute advocating that we reveal anything that is protected but I do think there is a huge amount of learning to be done from cases like this and support/guidance needed for people who must be feeling incredibly isolated as a result (I know I do!). For me it is the only remaining grey area and potential elephant in the room.

Is there anything we CAN include to de-bunk myth and provide reassurance that learning from such cases does happen? Abeit not in the public eye?

Really sorry to also post this and run (off out for day) but the post about CLA has for some reason minded me to raise this.

Yes I can write something Spero if you want?

On being a disabled parent and getting help?

I think that it would be immensely helpful to have the input of the children affected - well, those over 18 who can reflect back either positively or negatively

I'm a bit late to the party I know, but I wonder if the 'stories from children' section is missing for a reason?

I went through a variety of care placements including kinship, 'voluntary' agreement with parent (not particularly voluntary as it happens) and care order and various foster families. Obviously this is pretty outdated now, but the Care Leavers Association is an excellent resource and advocacy service for Care Leavers, might be worth getting their input? I am a member if you need anyone to get in touch.

CLA

Sadly, not all of my experience is positive, but insight into how children felt about the different aspects of the procedure might be useful?

re hat. paahaa.

Agreed re DV - with links to the Women's Aid site please?

www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic_violence_topic.asp?section=0001000100220002&sectionTitle=Children

I can't link on app - sorry. I am not very technical

Whiter yes I think that is important. Perhaps a section on DV/when it's your partner or ex partner who is considered the risk and not you. DV is a massive massive issue and hugely under-understood (that's not a word but I hope you get what I mean). It's even harder for victims of DV to get their heads around it especially when it is their normal and/or there has been some level of DV present in your life since childhood.

and MiscellaneousAssortment what support people with disabilities can access from adult social care to support them in their role as a disabled parent! That is a learning area for many child services social workers

Something on being a disabled parent would be good too. Alot of myths and assumptions around that, which sw themselves fall into as it's quite rare to be dealing with this situation and the processes and procedures just aren't there for many councils

Eg 1 being physically disabled makes you an incompetent/ bad parent

Eg 2 your child is by definition 'in need' / 'at risk of neglect' if a parent has a physical disability

Eg 3 you can only access help/ funding as a disabled adult via children's services

It's these kind of myths that push disabled parents down a road that can lead to very sad conclusions. No one wants this to happen but there is a knowledge gap. Barnados published a paper on this a few tears ago, and as far as i understand it, it remains unchanged. By educating the parents themselves, it can help everyone involved.

Debunking myths is a really really good idea.

Only read first page so far so am hoping that any 'fly under the radar' stuff has been nipped in the bud.

It should be about facts and truths to help families, and also help them know what to expect and what is professional behaviour and what is not, common concerns and errors etc. Obviously nothing that could be used as 'tips' to help abuses carry on abusing! I do realise that's probably been
Jumped on alot already.

What do we think of a 'what not to do' section drawing on our experiences. Such as; do not bury your head in the sand, do not reduse access, do not become aggressive, do not relocate etc?

As we all know there are lots of bad advise out there hopefully we can counter that with advise backed up with statistics, court judgements and real life experience.

Me too MrsDeVere!

Info for parents by the Royal College of Psychiatrists:

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/parentsandyouthinfo/parentscarers/domesticviolence.aspx

yep i've used change a lot so once we had got the main stuff on I was going to start and bulk that side of things up a bit. Great minds!