getting together information and support for EVERYONE in the child protection system

What happens if I ask for help with addiction to alcohol or drugs? [I appreciate this is too long for the website!]

This is a difficult area and no assurances can be made regarding individual cases. Your recovery from addiction may depend on disclosing your difficulties to your GP, and/or local alcohol and drug services. However, if these professionals are concerned that your drinking, or drug use, affects your ability to care for your children, they are duty bound to refer you to Social Services, with or without your permission. There is no hard and fast rule as to who will be referred; this is a matter of clinical judgement and opinion.

From: Statement 3.14 Care of People who Misuse Drugs and Alcohol by the Royal College of General Practitioners

However, if you are in difficulty, the referral caused by you seeking help for your problems will be much better than leaving things until they become more out of hand and the child(ren)’s school become concerned about absence or the standard of care of the children.

It looks BRILLIANT. I'm so impressed - well done to all.

Should I post my story here? I've adapted it straight from my blog if that's ok, but removed pretty much all the religious references, as I realise it's the wrong place for that. I am happy for it to be edited down or have a go at it.

It was about the 'should people with children with addiction issues seek help' question I was trying to write the other day and couldn't handle it. I'm a bit more level today. FWIW my Mumsnet "history" and my alcoholism "history" diverged at the point that I ended up with Social Services in my life. That's why I try and contribute on the rare occasion threads come up here. If anyone wants to read its on one of the Brave Babes threads, that I went to for help, here and I was notevenamousie, it's in the first half of that thread. I'll summarise!! as I assume reading it isn't that interesting, reading it was awful when I was trying to find it the other day. I had overshared and I was despairing and miserable, and basically 2 of the strong voices on the thread said I couldn't be real because no-one would do what I had done. And so I left mumsnet for the best part of a year because of condemnation and disbelief, during which the worst parts of my encounters with SS were going on, and I was very unsupported.

When I first asked my doctor for help, he contacted Social Services. He contacted them again 2 months later when I returned, contrite, having had a drink the night before, tearful and frightened. Very condemning, "you're not safe to be alone with her". Should we encourage people with a problem with alcohol to go and see their GPs? YES! But should they be aware that some doctors (and that in itself seems a problem, it's inconsistent even within an individual practice) will refer to SS automatically.

The other myth I personally feel quite strong about is the middle class assumption that "adoption doesn't happen to people like us". I was working as a doctor and have had no problems with my registration (I am not currently working). I went through 2 lots of NHS alcohol treatment (unsuccessfully) and the people I met there opened my eyes a lot, but I got, again and again, that 'they don't take children off people like you'. The SWs were utterly uninterested in my work, and the IRO was particularly scathing that I was only still working "because it was more important to me than my child". The fact was, work was the only thing holding me together. When I stopped, under pressure from Social Services, I fell apart completely. If any of this wittering is remotely helpful what should I compose it into? Sorry for being so long winded, I can take being told, thank you but no thank you, we don't need to hear any more.

Really love the website, will stick it on my blog and link it to local families groups I have contact with.

Westmoreland and others - that list doesn't contain 'if you report problems with alcohol (or drugs prescription or otherwise) your children will be taken off you' - is that because it's a minefield? Is it because alcohol services are duty bound to refer anyone who is referred to them to Social Services if there are children in the home? Is that definitely true? It's what I was told - and believed - maybe it's a myth?? If not, do people need to know that? Does it make them more likely to not report - because that is the real situation that many people find themselves in, if such reports are automatic. Might be worth mentioning that AA, NA, etc, are completely anonymous.

I'm trying to condense my story - how long is too long for this sort of thing, 600 words or so?

whoop! and check out the new snazzy site that went up 10 mins ago

Mine is currently not written as such :)

I'll write it as a personal one including tips/ links as I was going to then either you can pull some into the short info bit if helpful. My conclusion bit might be in the form of important things to note/ remember so can be split out if it's better that way.

Off the top of my head:

• being disabled doesn't make you a bad parent. You may feel very worried, or a failure or scared that ss will think you are a bad parent BUT anyone who says you are by definition a bad/ neglectful parent because you are disabled is discriminating against you. It's not legal to say this.
• ask for an assessment from adult ss before anything else takes place. You can self reefer or ask your gp to refer (gps canals urgent referrals and get you seen quicker)
• adult ss will send an assessor out to your home to do a thorough assessment of your needs. It's important to find out your councils criteria and levels for providing help.
• after your needs have been assessed adult ss will decide whether you're entitled to any help. It's in their interests to score your needs as low as possible, as they are legally bound to provide help if you're assessed as needing it.
• its adult ss responsibility to meet your needs as a disabled person in all your roles (personal care, as a parent etc). This could be through direct help (providing council or agency carers), or via direct payments (where you have a budget to spend on your care). Sometimes they may refer you on to other services such as charities and home start organizations
• FACE assessment more on this.
• The budget for your care should come from adult ss but could in some circs be topped up by children's services
• the theory is that if your needs are being met as a disabled parent, your child should have no remaining needs unmet. However there are situations where councils agree a shared budget.
• Do find out very clearly on what grounds you are receiving help. Do not agree that your child is at risk of neglect just because of your disability.

either way mega thanks for helping out!

it depends how yours is going to be written - we want parent experiences such as yours but also a quick 'fact sheet' type guide of common myths too.

Westmoreland
"if they have a physical disability or a mental health problem their children will be taken off them"

Is that the same or different than the one I'm going to write about ss and being a disabled parent? I don't mind either way I just want to make sure I'm writing the right thing :)

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/ can anyone interested have a look at the mythbusters section and see if they could help us out?

I'm specifically interested in people who would like to write something for parents who are afraid that:

if they report domestic violence that their children will be taken off them
if they report PND that their children will be taken off them
if they have a physical disability or a mental health problem their children will be taken off them.

It doesn't need to be long - just a bit about what is and isn't like to happen/ be asked

Ok - I wasn't sure whether you wanted to hold off until official launch .

I'm thinking of aiming to work within social work and am currently doing some voluntary work that led to that.
This is a brilliant and very informative resource.
Can I share it with people?

Thanks Spero. It is reassuring to know people will be able to speak out more. I wasn't quite sure whether this would only apply to cases in the future, from when the guidelines come into action in February.

My other concern about our family situation is that having been told very clearly by the Judge in court and on our contact order, that we are not to disclose any information about the case outside of the parties involved, it is a strange feeling to know this might be possible. I will have to take some time to process that!

Do you want any input re teenagers involved with ss?
I have a dd who has been in a secure unit and is now in res care - we have been involved with ss for the last few years. My main issue was always the lack of proper communication and funding disagreements between the agencies/departments!