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Original poster

getting together information and support for EVERYONE in the child protection system

287 replies

Spero · 21/01/2014 16:50

I am posting here, mainly because I am not sure what I am doing and I don't want to do anything against the rules or contrary to the site ethos.

In a nutshell, a lot of us have been contributing to various threads since before Christmas about the child protection system in the UK and all the controversy that has arisen since the case of Alessandra Pacchieri and the issue of 'forced adoption'.

We have perspectives from every part of the child protection system - there are birth parents, adoptive parents, social workers, lawyers etc and we think it could be a good idea to try to do something to bring us all together, to help people get access to information that is balanced and useful, particularly if they are facing care proceedings or worried they might be.

At the moment, we are thinking a blog could help, with different people providing short posts about their experiences and providing links to other sources that we know are credible and reliable. This could be very valuable for all of us - I am a lawyer for e.g. but I would love to know more about what doctors working in child protection are looking out for, and I would like to get more perspectives from birth parents about what they think is good or bad about the system.

We are also wondering if there could be a separate topic in 'Parenting' - Dealing with child Protection issues or similar, which could link to the blog, once we get if off the ground.

So sorry quite a lot of info there. Trying to précis

  1. We have a lot of untapped knowledge and experience and would like to pull it altogether to provide a good source of reliable and balanced advice
  2. We would like to start a blog, does anyone want to contribute or can think of snappy name?
  3. We would like to use the power of mumsnet to steer people towards our information and provide another platform for discussion and debate
4.What's the best way of going about this?

Any comments, thoughts welcomed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spero · 30/01/2014 10:29

I think that is a fantastic link - never heard of them but i bet a lot my clients would find that a comfort and help.

Witness the power of the Internetz when used as Force for Good!

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NoseWiperExtraordinaire · 30/01/2014 09:50

Just posting another one that has come to mind, which would be really good to include somewhere.

www.matchmothers.org/

I don't know a huge amount about them, and again they are limited to what they can do, but I know some mothers who value sharing and support with others who are apart from their children, for any reason. They do lovely things like sending a card to let mothers know they are being thought of on mother's day. A tiny thing like that can make a huge difference on difficult days like that.

Original poster
Spero · 30/01/2014 08:14

Just added this to myth busting re domestic violence.

Please could you have a look and tell me what you think, especially from the perspective of someone who has been in a violent relationship. Would you have found this helpful? If not why not? What do we need to add?

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/if-i-report-domestic-violence-social-services-will-take-my-children/

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Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 22:58

Thanks Sausage, its up!

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NoseWiperExtraordinaire · 29/01/2014 22:48

Sadly not off the top of my head but I can ask around and spend some time googling.

You do know the resource section could turn out to be monumental!

When you take into consideration local and national resources - ooh, need to link to MN local!

WestmorlandSausage · 29/01/2014 22:44

www.respect.uk.net/pages/domestic-violence-perpetrator-programmes.html

this perhaps?

Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 22:31

Nose - I have added a bit to try to make it less bleak.

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/what-is-emotional-abuse-and-what-should-i-do-about-it/

Do you have any idea of links for agencies/charities that could help?

I am sad to learn that SPLITZ one of the violence perpetrator programmes in Bristol is going to shut down soon.

Does anyone have any idea of a good organisation that could help people who self-refer with anger/abuse issues?

I often come across the DVIP but their 'success' rate seems very low and most don't complete the programme who are referred.

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NoseWiperExtraordinaire · 29/01/2014 22:27

Please do do the kinship care thing MrsDeVere - I didn't realise before when I lurked on threads like these that you were involved in that side of things - now I know why I always agreed with your posts!

Had there been better available support for us, which is more readily available now (such as carer support which was basically non-existent and unheard of back then) I'm convinced my family story would have had a more positive outcome.

I could help find some links if that would help!

Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 22:23

Nosewiper - good idea about reassuring people about what ISNT abuse i.e. we all lose our temper and snap from time to time, what matters is what you do next, are you sorry, do you apologise, do you try not to do it again?

cup - do you fancy writing something about how YOU feel as a newly qualified? Excited to be embarking on your professional life? Or trepidatious? How do you feel in light of all adverse media comment on your profession? What do you wish the media would say instead?

MrsDeVere and Garp - anything at all you can do will be warmly welcomed.

I am going to spend weekend tidying up and then WE LAUNCH MONDAY

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 29/01/2014 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 29/01/2014 21:37

that is a great idea, cup

cupoftchai · 29/01/2014 20:54

I'm a newly qualified social worker. This resource is brilliant i'll be sharing it with my team and ex-classmates. I don't feel terribly well-qualified to do it but perhaps something on the differences between the Scottish and English systems, just in terms of helping someone in Scotland apply eng examples. I will try! But if someone who had been in practice a while could do it that would be better.

NoseWiperExtraordinaire · 29/01/2014 20:54

I like what you have done with the links Spero - a good job of explaining the key points!

A certain amount of my work used to be pulling together resources and encouraging people to make use of them when supporting others - there is often more out there then we realise. Having good resources available and making use of them can actually prevent the need for more formal and serious resources such as social services (well it used to be the case before all the funding cuts! ).

That's why identifying family support needs earlier down the line is so important.

Am wondering also if a run down of what ISN'T considered serious abuse might also help, balance things out a bit and reassure people. Can't remember where I saw it now but there was a good explanation that we can all display abusive behaviour from time to time, but it is having the insight and ability to recognise it as wrong, apologise and take steps to put things right, which is such an important thing; and may even make a difference as to whether a child stays with a parent or not. Abusers often don't or won't agree that what they are doing is wrong, which is why is it so harmful.

(And why of course advice which dismisses the whole issue of emotional harm is so wrong, but hey why am I rambling, you know that!)

inlovewithgarp · 29/01/2014 20:49

I will submit tomorrow Spero, been knackered from Monday but haven't forgotten x

Whitershadeofpale · 29/01/2014 20:27

Eeek

Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 20:20

OK, I think we are nearly ready to go.

Family law week say they will publicise our site in a news item in their email which goes out to over 10,000 subscribers.

So if anyone is still wavering over their contribution, waver no more.

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Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 19:29

Thanks zoo, I will get those links up.

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Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 19:28

Nose, your links are responsible for at least 25% of the good stuff we have got!

See what you think about what I have done with the links

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/what-is-emotional-abuse-and-what-should-i-do-about-it/

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weregoingtothezoo · 29/01/2014 19:25

I'm a bit emotionally shattered to write anything tonight, I will try and expand the drug and alcohol section and write the social class is irrelevant bits tomorrow. But can we add

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/
and
ukna.org/
and maybe even
www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/ Spero you will have an idea of how significant this is, maybe less so than the other two, I don't really have an idea.

Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 18:55

Brilliant, that will go up. I will do a second post under heading emotional abuse and include those links.

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NoseWiperExtraordinaire · 29/01/2014 18:26

Yes, Zoo's post left me struggling to find words. Very moving.

Just wondering if a few links to more info about how to spot emotional abuse might be helpful to include? These are just some which seem quite comprehensive, but there may well be others out there.

www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/online-advice/emotional-abuse/emotional-abuse-a_wda87104.html

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/emotional_abuse.html

domesticviolenceuk.org/emotionally-abusive-relationships/

FamiliesShareGerms · 29/01/2014 17:48

I love ALERT

Zoo - your post is so moving and, frankly, humbling. Thank you for being willing to share your experience

Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 16:48

ooops, my proof reading skills are not the greatest.

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Whitershadeofpale · 29/01/2014 15:57

Thanks. I've realised I've made a typo on something under listen. If you could ammend it that would be great. Smile

Original poster
Spero · 29/01/2014 15:51

And you're up!
www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/be-alert/

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