getting together information and support for EVERYONE in the child protection system

Fantastic Spero. And perhaps how to access independent advocacy services?

Brilliant Idea. My experience of Child Protection has led me to feel that there is a need for more advocacy for families/parents. I have seen some poor practice and some great practice. What is frightening is that poor practice (un-held together caseworking) can lead families to feel as if they are going down a rabbit hole. Very frightening and compounding harm.

Perhaps a resource for families on how to access advocacy / self advocate?

Very moving posts. It's exciting to see such an inspiring idea becoming reality.

Oh my God, such beautiful posts! :)

I really hope that we will see less of conspiracy theorist like Hemming and Joseph giving the wrong advice on every possible board and blog (as 'to think very carefully before reporting even sexual abuse' as someone wrote above ) and more of people who had experiences with the system and can offer firsthand knowledge and advice

Vive le nouveau blog! :)

Yes, to Zoo also. I found your blog very insightful and moving, and appreciate the strength it must have taken to create that, and post here too.

I've scanned that thread and that's an amazing outcome. I'm very happy for my blog to be linked to and hope the post about it complied with the site rules. I'm really touched by the support and encouragement.

I've been trying to write a bit about the intersection between my SS journey and my Mumsnet history and am struggling. Just re-reading those old threads is hard. I'll try again later.

The other thing I would love is for there to be a place to share frustrations about Social Services (the Adoption board is becoming my place for that, but at the time it was still reversible, I had nowhere) - for eg. they do arrange meetings with less than 24 hours notice (they did this to me on the day my mum finally died. I'd been spending my nights in the hospice for over a week. It was truly awful - I was penalised for non attendance as well) and the relationship thing that Spero describes so well, it's easy to have a terrible relationship with a particular SW (of all the people involved, I only had this with the first. He was rude and judgemental. It's ok to say that without meaning that all SWs are) - to share these things but not to become overwhelmed with conspiracy theories. At the end of yourself, scared, ashamed, and despairing - they start to sound quite attractive.

Don't know if that helps at all.

Thanks, Rowan.

That's great news, thanks Rowan.

You are absolutely spot on there Spero. People entering the system need independent, reliable and specific support, and if more of that can come from peers who have been there and come out the other side with their children, then that indeed would be a wonderful thing.

It makes me think also of similarities with mental health befriending schemes that are run in some areas, but online, and more information based and specific to the needs of parents facing involvement from Children and Families Services.

Wow, four years ago minus one week exactly. No, I'm not going to read it again right now. I find dredging up old threads of mine very difficult actually, wonderful as MN is.

I'm quite impressed but also sad that I remembered the title word for word - MN was my literal lifeline at that time and it made a huge impression on me :(

Well done bertie - this was certainly easy to find! :)
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/903685-This-fear-that-social-services-will-come-and-take-your/AllOnOnePage

Zoo, I read your blog and it is heartbreaking. Your DD is beautiful and you are very brave to share your story. None of the emoticons fit so I offer you a [hand] should you want to hold one from a stranger.

It felt a bit like they had an assumption that I should know how to keep the house clean and tidy and to their standards. I knew it was messy, but I didn't know what they wanted me to do exactly - it is not and never will be in my nature to live in a showhome. But I felt like a failure for not being able to keep up these standards (with an 18 month old). In actual fact, looking back I can see why they were concerned and I can see what the problem areas would have been, but (again, looking back) I was most likely suffering from depression at the time and I just COULD NOT see what exactly it was that they wanted from me.

I can imagine that this probably extends, if you had a chaotic childhood or upbringing and literally didn't know what the "normal" is that they expect, it's very very hard to live up to that. Actually (again minor personal example) I was totally gobsmacked to see that one of the items on the list I was given was "Washing up left until item is needed again to be washed" - I just thought that was NORMAL and everybody left stuff until they needed it again unless they were super organised and tidy and/or had a dishwasher. It was out of DS' reach so what was the problem? And I had the most mundane, normal childhood ever except my mum had ME and couldn't keep on top of the housework very well.

I am posting tentatively because I am not sure if this is helpful or not but it can't hurt I suppose?

Two things - I remember a thread probably about four years ago, titled "This fear that social services will come and take your children", which might have some interesting/helpful info on it for your campaign. I could only read it through once and never returned to it, because it came at a time when I had extremely brief and minor (but still terrifying and stressful for me at the time) SS involvement, because I was struggling to keep the house in a habitable condition. In actual fact the actual SS involvement was helpful rather than not (they gave me an objective guideline of what I was actually supposed to be doing, which was more than the four other professionals involved with me at the time did.)

I remember feeling very alone, very much like a rabbit in the headlights totally terrified to do anything because I didn't want to be seen to do the "wrong" thing. However I had no idea what the right thing to do was - I kept being told what I was doing wrong but because it was all very subjective I did not know how to fix it or make it right.

Because I have not experienced more "heavy duty" SS involvement I don't know how well informed parents usually are about the steps they should be taking in order to prove themselves as good parents. I just remember feeling not only confused and stupid and low because I didn't know what the right thing was to do and I was frightened that I wouldn't be good enough even if I tried my very hardest, I also had this constant and utterly paralysing fear hanging over me that "If I fuck this up, they'll take him away from me." And I must stress that the involvement was incredibly low level and nowhere near that stage. I cannot imagine how much worse that fear must be when there is a very real chance that SS may remove your child or children. It's total fight or flight, both of which, obviously, are the worst things you can do.

I think it also would have helped to know that the fact I was a young parent was, yes, probably an extra red flag to them, but not in a way that it would automatically count against me without me being able to do anything about it.

My only concern about the idea is the potential for scaremongering and/or conspiracy theorists which, TBH, the thread I mentioned above had its fair share of, and terrified me half to death especially as I had a "cute, white boy under 3". Also, although this is a lesser concern, the potential for it to be "directions on how to avoid SS" which could be accessed by someone who wanted to avoid them in order to cover up actual abuse. But it sounds more as though it's geared up to support people to work with SS which I think is a great idea.

Hi, this is great & I'm glad it's being done.

It would be great to have some input from registered health professionals ie. counsellors / arts therapists, etc. I'm sure that a lot of health professionals would welcome advice too, ie what to expect if called upon to contribute to court / child protection proceedings.