Trolling of the Bereavement board

Rowan - OK, will do. I'm glad others reported it.

I read the thread and just had a feeling it wasn't on the level. I attempted to 'Report' it, but it just felt so 'nasty' doubting someone in Bereavement simply because of the way they'd written their OP - it wasn't even as if (at that stage when I read it) they had said anything contradictory or anything - it was simply a feeling.

However, we do have more than our fair share of very fucking warped trolls and I guess reporting doesn't do any harm, even if the poster isn't a troll.

Sad fucking world we live in where people get their kicks from trolling about anything - but bereavement?! Some people are lower than a snakes belly :(

I'm sorry for anyone who did post on the thread, especially anyone who has lost a child, being 'taken in' like that is a horrible feeling - but one most of us have experienced - unfortunately.

I think you need to remember that someone who makes up a thread about having lost a baby is obviously emotionally traumatised.

No sane person would do such a thing.

I don't think it's right to assume that every troll is a sick individual who gets kicks from making that stuff up. I think that actually, the vast majority of trolls are emotionally needy and have something very very wrong with them.

If you have shown them kindness and compassion then you know what? That wasn't wasted. That may be the only bit of love they've ever received from anyone.

How desperate must you be to make up a story about losing your baby?

So don't think that by posting you have wasted your time. They may not have lost a baby, but I think they were in genuine need and we should really encourage them to reach out for some rl help.

Wow - I'm shocked that the post in question was made up. I must be terribly naive as I believed it and couldn't make it past the first page (I'm a new mum and was only telling my OH about it this morning).

Shocking that someone would do this - they were obviously trying to make a point about leaving babies unattended on sofas or are you sick. I think MNHQ has an impossible task on their hands trying to catch Trolls before they've posted but at least they act quickly once they are aware .

Also, everyone who is saying they feel stupid or whatever, really, you shouldn't.

Con men have been taking people in in person for centuries. Don't be surprised you've been taken in by 'words on a screen'.

Omg I replied to that as I was in tears thinking of what she must going throu I feel so stupid now

Good god, was that a troll? That post really upset me :(

I feel the need to echo the statement about reporting.

You don't have to be coy about it to HQ. If you think it's not on, say so. Say 'this person seems like a troll.'

HQ will take a look and decide, the OP will never know what you said.

Why be coy?

And if it is upsetting to you personally, you might be better off hiding the whole topic yourself. It's great that you want to help someone, especially if you've been in the situation yourself, but sometimes the most important thing is self preservation.

I don't think they should select any threads to be hidden, it would be much better to stop all 'active', 'last 15 mins' etc and make people actively chose topics. I never ever select a topic - I just use the two buttons mentioned and get drawn into topics that I would be better missing. A short while ago there was a technical fault and I couldn't use either and really it was much better. e.g. I have never once gone onto HE but I comment quite a lot, just seeing them when scrolling down- I don't think I am very useful! Now that service us back to normal I am back to my normal browsing.

Everlong has said exactly what I was about to post. I will always report rather than post. Think very carefully before posting, as the OP is almost always ringing bells.

You know the worst thing ? We're five pages into a thread about a thread. The troll is enjoying reading these contributions.

They've probably name changed and have contributed to this thread too.

You know, like when a murderer pretends to care and gets into the search to find the missing person that they've killed.

thing is there's no definitive way to confirm whether someone is genuine or not. The only way to confirm if someone is a troll is if they have a previous mn history e.g. if they've been banned under a previous username and their IP clashes with one previously banned. But someone posting for the first time needs to be taken at face value even if they seem suspicious.

Which is why it's just not possible to do anything about trolls on a free website. People just need to be cautious of sharing their most personal life details with someone who they have no idea is genuine or not.

I don't get why people won't report though tbh. mn hq don't publish people's suspicions, nobody will know if you've reported, and if there's no reason to believe it's not genuine then they will tell you and move on. Mn hq receive hundreds of reports a day. they don't have the inclination to remember one of them about a poster who happened to be genuine.

I also don't get the "don't talk about how to spot trolls or they'll use it to hide better next time." Do people really think that these trolls don't know what they're doing? There are hundreds of news articles about trolls and the kinds of things that give them away. It's far better to arm people with the knowledge of what makes a troll look more troll-like than to worry about "giving information" to a troll who can find it anywhere else on the internet.

I agree with nearly all this thread and just want to add...(to state the obvious...but for a good reason...)

This (and other) fanasist trolls did a self-gratifying evil thing. It's as simple and as boring as that. They are entirely responsible and although we naturally use figures of speech such as 'sick' 'ill' etc to describe the behaviour, in truth, the person wrote a fake post because they chose to. (Let's be careful about using mental illness as an insult). I'd rather any trolls who read this thread find themselves spoken about in this boring, no-excuse, entirely responsible way. People find all sorts of ways to justify what they do and refuse to face up to how they just plain chose to do a me-first evil thing. So I'm hoping to give that perspective here! (Hence stating the obvious).

I came across it just after mnhq had commented, trolls on bereavement boards are the scum of the earth.

I know they must have some serious issues but I cant find it in myself to feel sorry for them.

I remember not long after ds4 was born at 20 weeks there being talk of trolls on the bereavement threads, it had never even crossed my mind that someone could do something like that.

Then I became paranoid that people might think I was lying, its just shit.

What narks me is that people who make things like this up are so good at it that people believe them at face value. They rely on being taken at Face Value whilst all the time laughing at how stupid and gullible people are for believing them.

They laugh at the people they are conning for being conned by them. It's a form of bullying really.

ColdTeaAgain - the same people who con charities, or have a plausible sob story etc etc

It's mostly attention seeking. I've learned over the years that genuine attention seekers are as ruthless as they are shameless.

I was the first person in amongst all the sympathy responses to even hint at a query i.e. hope you get some grief counselling for the children from Social Services Child Protection Team (Hint hint).

Even if ScottishMummy loftily replied with words to the effect that, 'the appropriate authorities will be made aware.'

Turned out not to be true. Yep, there's some sick people out there who would make this stuff up. With just enough facts to sound plausible. Usually this time of year too.

There is no answer to trolls - Angel - none whatsoever.

We call them trolls, but a more accurate description would be fantasists. The internet is full of them, unfortunately.

Hiding the bereavement board like that wouldn't be a good idea imo.

I know a lot of bereaved parents particularly feel like they can't speak about their children and have to hide their pain away so they don't upset people, hiding bereavement would be like an extension of that rl feeling. I think people would also post in other topics where they maybe wouldn't get sympathetic and measured responses.

I don't know what the answer is though

Unbelievable. I read that thread and almost wrote a post but something made me change my mind about leaving a message, just didn't feel right and now I know why. Am relieved to hear that it isn't true but I'm shocked that someone made up a story about a baby dying.

I'm pretty new to mumsnet and don't really know much about trolls, I thought they were just people who hurl abuse etc, I had no idea this sort of thing went on :( why do people do this?

I saw the first couple of dozen posts on that thread but didn't twig. In fact I reported someone else for being inadvertently insensitive and starting another thread about leaving a baby with a 9 year old, that one was deleted too, the poor OP probably felt terrible.

I agree with Satinsandals - the bereavement board ought not to appear in Most Active, it ought to be opt-in only like SNs, and maybe not searchable on google like OTBT.

It annoys me that even when I have opted out of boards in they aren't excluded from th Most Active box on the RHS of the screen so I still end up getting sucked in.

MN surely tech could do some kind of check on new posters? A bit like an address targeting function? It could be done automatically.

So when you register the system checks to see if you're banned etc (or does the manual check you do when a post is suspicious)

I work for a software house, I know it's technically possible