Trolling of the Bereavement board

Unless you have lost a child I dont think you can fully understand the hurt that these people cause. I agree with Everlong and Shabbs they are sick and twisted and to me that is what they will always be! They disgust me!

I have to agree with Everlong. I have known several trolls on the bereavement sites who introduce elements to their story that are very, very similar to what happened when my sons died. Things that make me think (or USED to make me think) 'Oh my word I remember feeling like that I will message them now to tell them how we coped with that!!' Thats how they reel you in.

A few years ago I had one that followed me onto FB - because, at the time, I believed her I readily accepted her friends request. When New Years Eve came around she threatened that if I went out to celebrate she would take her own life. I went out and when I came home there were several MNetters searching on the threads for me to say she 'needed me!!' She was a troll and I was dragged into her story which was 100% false!

Everlong is right - this kind of troll knows exactly what they are doing.

I do not wish to get into any kind of argument on here of all places. I am often being misunderstood and now feel that I have no room to speak or have an opinion on this as I have not lost a child. I have been mentally ill however as have members of my family. Some of them have been calculating in their cruelty and some of them have been abusive because of their own childhoods and because they've not known any other way. I am lucky in that I managed to escape the mental abuse and whilst I still have emotional issues from time to time, I have enough loving people around me to support me.

My family have hurt me time and time again and it helped me to try and understand why.

I posted on here thinking that for those who were angry and who felt hurt and betrayed might take comfort from the fact that an emotionally disturbed person may still have taken on board what they said. It might have helped a little to ease their own emotional pain, to make them feel visible for once in their lives.

I was not offering this up as any kind of an excuse. As I said, I saw people in pain trying to understand why any troll would do this and I tried to help.

I have now opened up way too much and as a result left myself quite vulnerable too. So please don't be too dismissive of what I post and try to see it in the light in which it's intended.

Ah. Thanks for that. I wondered sometimes if that is the case.

More reasons for someone to report more quickly than they may otherwise do.

WannaBe, you are right of course and I am certainly not making excuses. I am probably being naive because I cannot imagine anyone in their right mind doing such a thing.

But then, of course, the world is full of nasty people who do horrid things so why shouldn't this be the same.

I'm sorry, Everlong, I certainly didn't mean to offend you. I totally understand why these people make you angry. It's just that such behaviour is so bizarre and I just don't see what anyone would get from it unless they were needy and unstable.

I think that it's insulting to the genuinely bereaved to explain away the behaviour of such trolls on the basis that they must be unwell. In fact it gives justification to anyone to troll about anything and it be able to be explained away in the name of mental illness. In fact mental illness is also used far too often to justify behaviors IMO when actually most people are perfectly in control of their behaviour.

These trolls, even the long-term ones are far too calculating. They know exactly what they are doing, what to post and when, how to word posts to make the maximum impact. If You're savvy enough to register on a site time and time and time again under different details so people don't know where you are, knowing exactly where to post, what to post and how to post it then you're savvy enough to seek professional help for your "mental illness". I save my sympathy for the genuinely bereaved and the genuinely mentally ill, not for the sick bastards who seemingly get something from exploiting the vulnerabilities of others and who probably rub their hands together at those who come on here and sympathise with them because they "must be mentally ill."

A person does not know they have been reported, so I never see the harm in reporting and letting mumsnet check it out.

If the poster is genuine, they will never know they have been checked out.

If they are not genuine, then they need checking out as soon as possible.

Kate mumsnet : ..We're grateful to everyone who reported it to us, which meant we were able to nip it in the bud relatively quickly..

If lots of people report, does that mean mumsnet act or see or are aware, more quickly?

Sick and twisted from birth, or sick and twisted through circumstance and upbringing?

Oh my! I've just read Rowan's post stating that some people continue to re-register simply to post troll posts on the bereavement board.

Everlong, I totally understand what you are saying but I sincerely hope you're wrong. What you and the other mums who are regulars on the board have gone through is, of course, the most unimaginable pain. I cannot begin to comprehend that someone would simply enjoy lying about such a thing. I'd far rather, rightly or wrongly, believe they have some form of MH issues. Especially someone who tries to do it over and over again.

But attention seeking does mean that in essence, something is wrong, doesnt it.

I read the op and my initial gut feeling was disbelief.

I spent the day feeling bad for being such an unfeeling, disbelieving cow, and mulling over what it said in the post. I don't usually look at the bereavement board and I'd clicked it by accident (fat fingers)

I am going to make it my new year's resolution to actually report posts if they make me suspicious. I've never reported anything before, I've waited for others to do it, but if everyone thought like that nothing would ever get reported.

I should imagine you feel terrible, angry, betrayed and all those things plus more besides.

I tried to offer an alternative explanation for such trolls. I didn't want people to feel that their heartfelt posts and offers of help had gone to waste. That the troll may well have been a genuinely needy, damaged person and that some of the kindness shown to that person, may actually have got through.

I was trying to help in my own clumsy way.

People do just make things up for kicks. My SIL made up a still born son because she was 'jealous of the attention' I got because my son and daughter died. Nothing traumatic in her life, no need for it, just attention seeking.

Some people are just wankers, usually I try and give people the benefit of the doubt, but to try and get sympathy for a fake situation, from people who have actually been in that situation, is disgusting and not worthy of anyones sympathy imo.

But why?

I don't buy it that people are that cruel and twisted. This person must have some sort of emotional turmoil. They obviously want the attention, so something, somewhere has gone wrong in their lives if the only attention they can get is from trolling about dead babies at Christmas.

Maybe I'm just being a sucker, but I like to think that most people are generally good people and the rest usually have something terribly wrong with them. Not that this excuses their behaviour, but there is usually a motive behind what they do and it's not always 'just because'.

THECliff - of course we don't know about this particular poster (MN might be able to enlighten us somewhat, if it's a repeat offender who does all different kinds of mad crap OR who came from the Other Board Debacle), but it's not true at all that the person must be 'emotionally traumatised' Some people are just out and out wankers - truely.