Vipers' nest? Come counter our hissy rep with your stories of Mumsnet Niceness

I don't know how many people work at MNHQ but I think they must be over stretched. As I said earlier I was very upset by a bereavement thread because by accident I was up incredibly early and the only one to answer. I felt that MN let her down and when I enquired it was a case of 'nothing can be done'. A poster has kindly shown me that she did get the best of MN and I wonder why MNHQ couldn't have told me that, but I expect they simply didn't know - not because they didn't want to, or care- just a lack of time and staff and other pressing concerns.

I never feel alone.

I have made some amazing friends on here, who have been there for me no matter what.

surprisearrival it's not about wealth. It can't be. It's an anonymous forum where a tiny percentage of the threads have anything to do with money. When they do there are a ton of suggestions on how to stretch a chicken for three days and how to amuse children on no money. The number of threads I've seen supporting people who have no money.

I don't think a site that is non-confrontational and avoids telling people when they are wrong helps anyone. If you're being unreasonable then MN will cast the scales from your eyes. There's not point in posting in Aibu unless you are prepared to listen to the answer!

As a general point I would also nominate Talcandturnips for special recognition as the woman never fails to cheer me up no matter what mood I started out. :)

Friends have a toy that DD loves. Googling revealed that lots of people used to sell it, but no one seemed to anymore
. I started a thread asking if anyone knew where I could get one, and linked an image. Lovely Indith sent me her DD's old one, just for the price of posting. DD was then 14 months and was made up.

Two people asked me why I said 'SN wasn't safe' and PeneloPeePitStop (with a SN child) answered it. I have just been very aware that some of them get less than supportive answers.And to answer lisad123 you don't have to search for it, you merely go to last 15 mins, or last hour, or active etc.
My whole argument is that it would be a kinder place if you had to search - people wouldn't scroll by and put in quite a cruel two pennyworth, they wouldn't visit at all.

I love Mumsnet. I joined waaaaay back in 2002, just after my ds (dc2) was born.

I lived in a very remote rural area at the time, with very little on for new mums, and mn was a real lifeline through my PND.

I got a massive amount of support through a very very difficult unexpected pregnancy (with dd2 - I had a mirena that slipped) and the long thread with my birth congratulations is in dd2's baby box for posterity!

I've met some fabulous people, been supported but also able to offer support, last summer a mumsnetter came to mine for a holiday, had about 7 others round to visit. I'm very privileged to know expat and Giraffes and to have been a teeny tiny part of the awful journey they went through with Aillidh last year. I regularly meet Aitch at the school gate (and aitch, we will get that coffee this term!!!).

My dd2 developed a hip disability aged about 4 and the SN mums were fabulous at helping me negotiate all the stuff about wheelchairs etc. And many of you rejoiced recently when we got the all clear for her. I myself developed a neurological illness 16 months ago and I've become part of a very small group of others with similar issues offering support, and I also have a rather niche mental health problem, also supported on here.

One of the best things mn has done for me is to make me laugh. If I'm ever very down, I head to classics. There's very little that reading the Guinea-Pig obituary thread doesn't cure!!

Thanks mn for a great 11 years - hope I'm here at least 11 more!

i love this place.
last year, Bellavita sent me a gift. I had a thread which detailed a particularly hard time i was having.
it absolutely made my day. We met up for lunch.
this year when her dh was poorly, i sent her a gift. this place is mutually supportive - we all prop each other up.

ive had 3 threads now on the mh boards and the support on there has been my lifeline. total strangers have supported me through thick and thin.

and recently, the yoni threads have had me in hysterics.

ive vented about my DS who has special needs, ive had wonderful advice from folk in the same boat.

i adore mumsnet. i dont care what anyone else thinks. the people on here are fabulous. I would be totally lost without it.

I can't begin to count the amount of sage advice, hand holding, support and general niceness I have had on here. Some people tell it like it is which can be hard to hear ( thank you Any F*er xxxxxx) but I never come away thinking that the people who post genuinely care.. That's why I bloody well love you lot xxxx

Plus the style and beauty section rocks xxxxxx

i think the Daily Mail article had it about right..Boden wearing Judgemental (judegey pants wearing) egotisitical mothers. I like the reviews but barring the single mothers threads I have never encountered a worse bunch of threads... egotistical, selfish and so so judgemental.mumsnet seems to be for the wealthy mums... even the "mumsnet recomends" emails are aimed at famiies with lots of money!

The power of Mumsnet never fails to amaze me.

I joined four years ago, pregnant at 17, very young, frightened and in circumstances far from ideal. I found compassion, understanding and support here. Kind people from my antenatal thread who had older children already sent me boxes of clothes for my DS.

I have made some of my dearest real life friends via this site, who I laugh with, cry with, drink with... Mumsnet meet ups are the highlight of my social calender. The next one is the day after my birthday, there shall be cocktails

The biggest reminder of how wonderful MN is I have ever time I walk around my house.

When I posted, two and a half years ago now, that I had finally found a landlord that had said yes on a property that was suitable for what I needed, I had tonnes of congratulations. I also had many, many posts from people who knew that I was setting up a home for the first time, offering me things to get started.

I was touched when someone offered me a lap shade, duvet cover, knife block, mini grill and place mats.

I was staggered when someone else said that, if I knew a man with a van, they had a sofa for me. This was later updated with the offer of a bookcase for DS as well.

I'm crying writing this now. To think that strangers, on the internet, could, would, and do, such kind things, expecting nothing in return... It restores some of my faith in humanity every time I sit down on my sofa.

Of course there will always be arguments here. Any time you throw so many people together into a situation, there will be disagreements. But that doesn't sum up a place. The power of Mumsnet is that we can be mid-bun fight, then find out one of our number is in need, and all buns are dropped as people do everything they possibly can - and often more - to help.

Mumsnet is a wonderful thing. I type this from the safety and comfort of my first ever home, a home that is still partially furnished by Mumsnetters.

So to all of you... Thank you. x

Penelo, I'm really sorry to hear that.

Avasiatropolis or something like that [really bad at remembering names!] was another lovely one who offered support at a particularly hard time between christmas and new year.

I will never forget crying with laughter at the whole garlic clove up the bum thread.

I also feel far more confident as a mother and a woman since finding this site. I find I am more understanding of what others are going through on the one hand, yet less inclined to put up with twattery in real life.

Mumsnet is my google when I want to not only know about something, but to get real user feedback sort of thing?

Ive had loads and loads of advice type stuff from reading the SN boards, support too.

Ive been in awe of the wooly hugs people, so kind and what a thing to organise! RatherbeonthePiste and the others [so sorry I cant remember the name] are amazing. Im a shit knitter so donated wool instead.

I agree with the person who said about all the stuff that goes unseen, I have been touched by PMs Ive received from people.

Ive learned loads about stuff Ive had no experience of.

I have appreciated when MNetters have posted on threads and sent PMs thanking me for sharing my experiences on having a child with SNs and offering support on some rather heated threads involving children with special needs. Some lovely lovely people who have stood up to be counted when they didn't need to, but just because they thought it was the right thing to do. There are quite a few and I don't really want to write names because I know I will forget someone important! Kungfupanda sticks in my mind though, 5madthings is another. When I remember the rest I will come back and post their names too.

I love reading the ghosty/weird stuff that happened type threads and the embarrassing things that happened to people ones are so funny and have me shaking with laughter until I have to read the posts out to whoever says 'why are you laughing Mum'

Mumsnet is so many things and it is fabulous.

This is hard.
As parent to kids with SN I really do see the good here, but there's horrible trollery towards people in my situation. And big fat silence about that.

It's a great site. Unless you're 'different'.

The night DS was born, I was scared and alone in a hospital bed. He'd had suctioning and CPR, wasn't feeding, and DH had been chucked out as it was the middle of the night. I was more scared than I've been in my life and MN was there for me. I got replies to my post saying HELP faster than I could get a midwife by my bedside. I'm so, so grateful for Mumsnet. Every single day.

Millions of users vs a couple of whiney posts in the DM? No contest.

Using MN is like swimming in at the seaside in the UK.
There is no point faffing about at the edges, jumping back because the water is cold, a bit of seaweed just wrapped itself around your ankle or you stood on a sharp stone.
You have to commit to it - wade on in there until you are up to your neck, start splashing about, envelop yourself in it and join in with all the other people splashing around.
It's a lovely place to be and the sense of well-being persists long after you stagger out and towel yourself down.

OK - so once in a while a turd floats past or you have a close encounter with a dead crab, but mostly it is an absolute, life-affirming pleasure to be here.

MN has helped me in so many ways. From my first post, where I asked for advice on ditching the dummy and got wise thoughts, mostly along the lines of "why bother, it's no big deal, leave it until he's ready".

Through a couple of life changing upheavals where wonderful MNers held my hand through very dark times, at all hours. They helped me through turmoil, stuck beside me, 'listened' and supported. They made the unbearable bearable minute by minute and I will be eternally grateful. I'm lucky to have a good network of supportive friends and family IRL, however it was Mumsnetters that helped me most when I was in dispair.

Some people in the media have made up their minds about MN, I'm not sure they are the types who are open to changing their opinions. But really, it takes a small amount of simple research to see the truth. Maybe the truth, however lovely just doesn't make good news .

I can't remember everlong, it was years ago. I don't think it was another woman scenario. I seem to recall it being a family squabble or something and the person's house was BIL or something. The car wasn't there anyway.

MN has literally changed my life. It has given me the realisation that my relationship is not normal, and the support (both practical and hand holding) to actually gather myself and leave (very soon) the emotional abusing twunt that I have wasted 10 yrs of life on. Nowhere in real life could have provided me with the support that I've had from a bunch of strangers who truly understand what I'm going through because they've been there too.

I have been on Mumsnet since 2004 and still love it as much as ever!

I was at Weightwatchers on off for 20 years, losing and gaining the same stone......could not face it again.

I looked at a low carb thread in Jan with Biwi and her gang and have now lost 20lbs!!!

The support is amazing and invaluable and I have made some great friends. Biwi even strokes my hair. Tis lovely.

I first found MN after googling my symptoms when I was feeling very ill at 9 wks pg. I found the fabulous LucindaE's HG thread and it pretty much saved my life. My doctor wasn't listening and only going back in with the knowledge I found on here got me a diagnosis. By that point I was so dehydrated my veins had collapsed and my potassium levels were so low there was a major risk of kidney damage. I was hospitalised for a long time. Everyone on that thread then supported me throughout what turned out to be a very scary and stressful pregnancy.

I learned about the "count the kicks" campaign on here and bought a wrist band. I was admitted several times for reduced movement. The final time they decided to induce. After a terrifyingly quick labour DS was born blue and floppy with the cord around his neck. Thankfully he was resuscitated very quickly and has suffered no ill effects. Without MN I wouldn't have pushed the midwives to act. I would has trusted their advice that movements slow down the closer you get to full term. My DS would have died.

When my whole world collapsed 4 months later the nest of vipers came to my rescue again. My then DH had a fling with a mutual friend. I started a thread the next day and the instant flood of support was just overwhelming. They literally got me through it minute by minute. There is no way in the world I would have had the strength to do what I've done without this place.

A year later and MN is my company when I'm lonely. It's often the only adult conversation I have in a day. It's also friffing hilarious!

It's no exaggeration to say that MN has changed my life.

I just,love NLs description of the Hive Mind. For good or Ill.

I drove 10 miles down the road at about midnight one night to see if someone's DH's car was outside a particular house and report back. I'd forgotten about that!