Vipers' nest? Come counter our hissy rep with your stories of Mumsnet Niceness

I don't find any problems on the SN boards themselves (apart from the odd difference of opinion from posters) but there is often disablism on main board threads. Thankfully MNHQ are more on the ball with deleting them these days.

I have an on-topic post.

I am not a weepy type but this made a little bit.

I've just moved into a new house with a garden and an absolutely lovely woman whom I don't know in the slightest has sent me a whole selection of seeds to plant. And loads of instructions with them, and a little card.

It sounds so cliched but honestly, it has made me a little bit weepy - what a lovely thing to do.

MNers are incredibly kind.

Since joining mn four years ago, I've lurked far more than I've posted but I feel I've learnt so much about the challenges that other people face, different points of view etc. I do genuinely feel it has widened my outlook on the world. It's also made me laugh more times than I can remember.

I also credit the stories, links and words of wisdom on here for the wonderful experience that was DS2's home birth. Previously, I'd have dismissed it as being "too risky" or "not for me" but the wise women of mumsnet showed me that this was emphatically not the case.

In addition, the ladies on the Dec 2012 threads have been a constant source of support. Even though I've not always contributed the most, knowing that there are other people going through the same things at the same time has been massively reassuring. A few weeks ago, when I was in a bit of a state about something, they were there for me straight away. Thank you .

Oh, and DH and I have both registered with Anthony Nolan after reading about Billie and Aillidh.

Not bad for a nest of vipers....

Indeed Boffy, I was too.

Perhaps if people have tweaking suggestions, there could be a new thread started? I was enjoying reading the on-topic posts.

Yes, as jux said.

Exotic, I think MNHQ are working on revamping topics. Local had a big revamp recently.

There was a little push a while ago to post WWYDs IN WWYD topic but I don't think it lasted long.

When I was getting help with DS's SN, I found the SN boards to be a haven of warmth and support. I don't know what I'd have done without them.

Very true jux

You're so right Jux. It's much better for tabloid rags to have women fighting each other.

I agree: the issue here is that "Bad" news (ie conflict) is "good" news for the journos, while "good" news is bad news for them. Where is the mileage in lots of women people being nice to each other?

I've just done an analysis of the 100 threads in my "Active" conversations. OK, it's just a snapshot, but of this 100, only 15 were AIBU. Of that 15, only 3 were in any way contentious (about religion, Thatcher and Yonis/Nobdies). The rest were either funny, supportive or asking for advice - with no trolling or bitchiness.

This is before even checking out the other 85 threads which were the whole normal gamut of MN converstations, from legal advice, big/slim threads, relationships, style & beauty etc.

Go figure.

Jux, you've hit the nail on the head.

The problem is that women being nice to each other isn't much of a story, is it?

I would also like to add that I appreciate MNHQs efforts to put things right and to try to make it better. They have a difficult job as it is very hard to please everyone!

But they do listen IME.

I have been posting on Mumsnet since 2006 and would say that the good hugely outweighs the bad on here and any publication which says otherwise is simply guilty of lazy journalism.

I have never entered MN via Google. I don't understand why any regular would TBH - you just go to the web address/bookmark. Or, if you have googled, you just click the link to "talk" that it brings up. [shrug]

Of course TES isn't as popular as MN So I don't understand the comparison With fewer members, of course the atmosphere nd profile is going to be different.

Anyhow, this isn't what this thread is about.

If I enter the site most days via Google I would imagine that journalists do too.
Topics are not easy to find. When I was told that the thread I was looking for was on bereavement I had difficulty-I found it under body and soul, which is logical, but at the top style and beauty is what you see. Do those living abroad know they have a special section? It is under homes and gardens which doesn't seem the place. I know that HEers often miss the fact they have a special place.
I think the whole thing needs a revamp.
Of course TES isn't as popular as MN there are far more parents in the country than teachers. If you are not a teacher you wouldn't get a lot from it.
On the Jeremy Vine show it appeared to me that Justine was a bit vague on the supportive side (maybe just my impression) hence asking this question. If the site was signed differently I am sure that the kind side would come over better-rather than the first impression being bunfights on AIBU.

Posting again to say I agree with zzzzz last post.

I've been reading the thread though and am saddened to see that several posters have experienced problems on SN threads. It sounds as though this area is singled out more than some others by trolls and vicious posters. I'm really concerned to read this, and I think most MN would agree that it's appalling

I really don't think this is true actually. As far as I'm aware SN is 'opt in' and there are very few incidents of trollery on there. As someone else said, any 'trouble' tends to be on the main boards. MNHQ tend to delete disablist posts rather than going for the 'educate' line these days.

As I mentioned earlier, I have been heartened by posters who despite having no personal interest have stood up and challenged disablist views/posts.

I know that many MNers have had their eyes opened and have said what they have learned on here has made them think/act differently.

There are a handful of posters who dont/didnt feel their needs were/are met on The SNs boards and I'm not going to minimise their experiences by saying there are no issues, but I don't think any of it comes from a place of malice.

My personal views/feelings are very different from some other SN users, but I have still found it helpful and supportive and accept that different people will have different methods for coping and that is fine.

I really feel strongly and protective over the issue of the SN boards, because as zzzzz says, a great many children have benefitted from the advice and support found there.

Parents of children with SNs/disabilities are not one homogenous group, we are as different and varied as any other group of people with one common denominator, so it would be unrealistic to expect everyone to think/feel the same.

Overall the SN boards are a positive attribute to MN.

Wot, so women can't disagree with each other without being called vipers?

Personally I've had a lovely time on Mumsnet and it's definitely made a positive contribution to my life, from getting advice on how to deal with aspects of DS's Aspergers to the fantastic Let Toys Be Toys campaign that grew out of FWR.

The wonderful thing about Mumsnet is that there will always be someone who sees things the way you do and this makes you feel slightly less alone in the world.

Plus, Mumsnetters are hilarious!! Does anyone remember that brilliant 50 Shades of Grey thread a while? It had me PMSLing for days.

And over all of Mumsnet we have the lovely MNHQ, residing over us like a Mother Hen, dropping in with their posts every now and again to let us know they're looking after us!!!

Long Live Mumsnet!!!

OK, thanks BIWI - still it could perhaps be more prominent or better used ?
The popularity and prominence of AIBU could be a problem in terms of how we're initially perceived by lazy journos ?!
Perhaps I'll start a thread in WWYD about my on-going nightmare heating probs !

here

Convert mentioned my thread where I was looking for help getting medicine to my friend. She lived a hundred miles away from me and was having chemo for breast cancer. The treatment had made her hands and face swell up like balloons. She needed Piriton but couldn't get out of the house. I knew that Mumnet would help if they could.

I posted on here and within an hour had three practical offers of help from MNetters in north London. Zonedout, Heliumballoon and Mumofjust1.

Zonedout had some Piriton but couldn't leave her DC's. So she kindly sent it with a cab driver round to my friend's address. The poor driver must have thought she was bonkers but delivered the bottle to my swollen, tired and confused friend (who had never heard of mumsnet) with some trepidation. In her words "I looked like the elephant man and the driver looked terrified!"

My friend was overwhelmed - this was at the hardest part of her treatment and she wasn't coping well with the side effects. The Piriton eased the swelling and within half an hour she could breathe with ease again.
Zonedout wouldn't accept any money for her troubles.

This was almost a year ago and my friend has made a great recovery. She is back in the workplace and has moved house to my side of the country. She will never forget the night she had a knock on the door and found MN goodwill being delivered!

I thought there already was a WWYD topic?