Parenting: Cameron's childhood adviser says we're all getting it wrong. Is she right?

I get this parenting thing wrong on a regular basis, but I'm learning from my mistakes, and my 3 dc seem to be surviving pretty well.

Could the perfect parent please stand up?

Oh and at it being the Mother's fault. Its just an extension of the whole SAHM /WOHM - 'Damned if you do damned if you don't" argument.

I do have a problem with the sexualisation of children, particularly girls, but to tie this up with a sideswipe at women / mothers in general detracts from the one decent point in the whole piece.

Oh blah, blah, blah.

SOME parents may do this, but they're not issues I've come across in my social circle. Maybe she just hangs out with the wrong kind of people.

'Advisor on Childhood'. Oy !

Completely agree with her. Hopefully she'll be able to actually implement her ideas.

Actually (though I hate to admit it), I wholeheartedly agree with her on both points, and brought my older children up pretty much along these lines.

My older DC are turning out just fine- strong, resilient, active, pleasant and mature individuals with a wide variety of interests and excellent students. Oldest one is 19 and in 2nd year of university. Has lived in shared house since he started university as he got in through clearing and couldn't get halls. He seems absolutely fine. The DDs are all involved in a wide variety of things- DD1 works at weekends and very full-time study for the IB. They have strong intrinsic motivation and a very sensible attitude to friends (and who is, and isn't a friend).

Erm. I WISH I could afford to take ds to loads of "activities". But I can't,so is irrelevant.
As for the digital thing, yes, to a point that is true. Many kids of 11/12 seem to have smart phones on which they can pretty much do as they like, and see God knows what.
I think when ds gets older he will have a shock that he ain't getting an i phone!

But at the end of the day, if they give a shit about childhood, they could start by scrapping the new nursery ratios bollocks, re-opening the Sure Start centres, investing in new leisure centres and council pools (ours is literally falling apart) and stopping allowing councils to sell off green space.

My highly intelligent and articulated response to her well supported and document evidence for this is:

"You're a muppet"

It not even worthy of discussion. I think someone needs a new advisor to 'win back the woman's vote' if this is the best this one can come up with.

Can't see any data or other evidence being cited?

It does rather smack of middle class handwringing rather than anything constructive.

I'd rather we focused efforts of those parents who neglect and mistreat their children instead of this load of unevidenced tosh.

both have been discussed to death before - so 1. No What does she things thousands of young people are doing at university - relying on their manservants, perhaps? 2. contradicts 1 so typical government stupidity. I'd agree some parents don't supervise young people enough, fortunately most young people survive it. The level of supervision needs to vary with the degree of responsibility of the child.

Actually I think that a well chosen activity or two, especially one that builds on their interests and talents, is so good for children's self-esteem and developing attitudes to life and learning, that it would be great if the government could provide every child with an "educational enhancement" voucher to be spent on a weekly after-school activity of their and their family's choice.

Perhaps this is the sort of idea the government is trying to head off at the pass.

This from someone whose party has ended free legal aid for family cases?

Seriously?

"Most of us are getting it wrong in other ways that don't involved cupcakes" @ euphemism

Because I would think only a very small minority of (wealthy) parents are getting it wrong in the way she outlines.

Most of us are getting it wrong in other ways that don't involve cupcakes.

Did she actually say, "We're all getting it wrong" - or was that an inflammatory way to ask our opinions?

I understood the boredom bit to mean that being bored and not stimulated all the time can have the effect of making children use their imagination to come up with something to alleviate the boredom.

I was going to start a thread on this, having seen this on the front page of The times this morning ....
where the headline is "Parents have got it wrong, childhood guru warns"

Beneath the caption it continues, quoting Mrs Perry, Cameron's adviser on childhood ....

"We've created a treadmill. It's usually the mother that is orchestrating all of that and doing all the driving. We have created rods for our own back. Children need time to be bored."

Well, that just makes me think there was a time when a headline in The Times carried some weight, when it was based on some new research, had some rigour and substance. You would hope the same sort of things could be said for the publicised comments of the prime minister's adviser on childhood.

But these thoughts seem much less well thought through ....

Basically as posters have said up-thread do we really think that children would be better off without their parents active involvement in a wide variety of stimulating, educational activities, that often build on their existing and developing interests. Would my children really have been better off if I'd not taken them to ballet and Irish dancing, to taekwondo and karate (black belt at 10), to clarinet, trumpet, flute, and band practice, swimming with the family on Sunday afternoons, Quaker meetings on Sunday mornings. These more structured activities have still left plenty of opportunity for park, seaside, watching TV, playing computer games, building dens in the garden & yes, even being bored !

But if you're going to give advice to the prime minister and the country's parents Mrs Perry, and talk to The Times about your views, could you make sure that next time they're considered and founded on some rigorous research, and not just whatever ramblings you think will gain some publicity and perhaps a few votes from the lazy

If The Times is looking for a real childhood guru to advise the nation they could do worse than turn to Tina Bruce, early years educationalist whose philosophy can be summarised as follows ...

"Children need stimulating first-hand experiences which they can make their own through free-flow play"

So, yes, children need some time to play in childhood. But why not say so ?
Play should be at the heart of childhood, as well as exploration of a wide variety of stimulating activities, ... not boredom !

Yeah I feel sorry for the children who have endless activities after school. I mean that must be far worse than a child living in poverty or being abused.

Typical Tory twaddle.

Twats.

1. Not in my world - DH and I earn fairly well, but both work f/t so there is no time for an endless round of 'activities'. And much of the weekend is spent making sure the house doesn't end up a toxic dump. Most of the (perfectly normal middle class) parents round here are like this. Yes, my DDs used a before and after school club until last year, but now they walk to and from school independently, and they are certainly allowed to go and play outside. I do like baking and cooking, but IMO passing these things on to your DC is useful. Not just cupcakes, but roasts, curries, anything really. It's not an 'activity', it's an essential.

2. By the time you need to 'snoop' you're too late. You need to educate them before you let them out on the www. My older DD has a mobile phone - it is a phone. No camera, no gadgets, certainly no Internet. DD2 will not get a phone until she is in secondary. All Internet use in this house is supervised. Except mine, obviously. . No TVs in bedrooms in this house either - not the DDs, not ours either.

I switched off as soon as I read the words 'rod' and 'back'.

She's right about cupcakes though. I bloody love 'em.

I think we all need to just sick our fingers in our ears and get through the last few years of this joke of a gov.Lets face it any other party will be better for families than the condems.

What a load of rubbish about children being "overparented". My childhood was completely filled with "planned activity" outside of school, arranged by my mother: Brownies, dancing, acting, debating, later on charitable work and teaching younger children. I never had a spare moment. My parents took me here there and everywhere and were always there to support when I was performing etc. It did me no harm, did the world of good and I went to University and did just fine thanks.

Well when you have people in the party who think families spend their CB on stocking the wine cellar and going on 'decent'(whatever that is) ski-ing holidays what do we expect.