New NHS guidelines on IVF treatment to extend age limit up to 42 - what do you think?

i think its great and think it should be made higher,maybe up to 45?

Evil - My child is adopted. Are you satisfied now?

I'm opting out of this conversation now before I out myself.

Aha, thanks Helen!

Good point Jethro. It was only through having been on MN so long that I'd even heard of AMH let alone known that my result was low. The NHS consultant didn't even think to mention it until I said "Um...that looks low!" And as for the GP, she tried to send me along telling me not to worry because lots of celebrities have babies in their late thirties and forties, and she honestly didn't think there was a problem.

I don't think anyone misunderstood your post about entitlement, stella, they just disagreed with it and explained why they did.

But invariably the people saying that lots of women have a sense of entitlement over children are those that already have them.

It's not about a sense of entitlement, it is about a deep, primeval urge that takes over your life.

You are indeed lucky, SteIIa. But unless your child is a result of assisted conception or adoption, you probably don't know how it feels to face a future without children, and how desolate that experience is. Therefore, claiming as you did that women feel entitled to have children is erroneous. Some people may, but suggesting all do is simply incorrect, as well as callous and unhelpful to boot.

There's been lots of intelligent responses on this thread as well as the 'not so intelligent'.

From my perspective of both recent involvement with both NHS & the private sector, I'd would have just liked the NHS to have been more honest. We were 'under investigation' for almost 2.5 years with appointments months & months appart. Had the NHS said at appointment 2 - you will undoubtedly need IVF however at the moment this PCT has no funding & isn't likely to have funding for another 18 months' we would have made the decision to go private then (We were extremely lucky to have this option I know). But they didn't say this, they strung us along, giving us hope.

I'd also like the NHS to acknowledge that low AMH is a factor in infertility. It wasn't mentioned to me even though it is clear on my results. When these results were passed to our private consultant it was the first thing she picked up on.

No, it's not anyones right to have a child but in a country where we have a NHS it is surely a 'right' to have infertility investigated. Where do you draw the line - do obese people no longer deserve the right for medication for obesity caused diabetes? Smokers for lung cancer? Drinkers for alcohol related disease?

Basically - if you read my post carefully you will see that I didn't say needing IVF was about a sense of entitlement I said that lots of women feel that having a child is a sense of entitlement.

Having a child is not an entitlement for anyone.

I am not entitled, you are not entitled. Anyone who hopes for a child and has a child is lucky.

I am lucky.

I support the changes, and don't think that overall they would cost the NHS large amounts in comparison to treatment of some lifestyle choices illnesses that there is never any argument about. I know I couldn't go through the anguish of fertility treatment myself though, I'm not emotionally strong enough. When it looked as if DS1 might be an only child I investigate adoption from abroad as an option instead - though I now know that can bring lots of anguish in the procedures too.

It is interesting how varied the care is, RedToothBrush. The postcode lottery gets me three cycles, but we've not been offered any mental health services, or advised to seek them out (or where to look for them). We have been told that stress is a contributory factor to infertility, but that hardly helps much...

evilgiraffe that was the figure that shocked me most too, but I wanted to post the whole section, as not to be accused of being selective and to also point out what NICEs recommendations about counselling were, as judging by a few comments on this thread, people's experience seems to differ on that as much as the age limit varies from place to place.

I was signed up to a clinic a couple of years ago. No one wanted me! I then pulled out as fell pregnant but it did feel a bit like joining a dating website and getting no dates

I try not to take it personally

I also disagree with marylou's comment. How many couples conceiving the old fashioned way do you think have a spare lump sum of £3-10k sitting around the month they conceive?

FairyJen you made me giggle at "rent-a-womb" I have never even considered surrogacy - not having any sisters or SILs it's never occurred to me as a possibility.

RedToothBrush - really interesting info there, thank you. Much of that is depressimgly familiar. I was particularly shocked by levels of anxiety/depression due to infertility being comparable to those due to heart disease, cancer and HIV in one study. That's terrifying.

Look at it from the other side, abortion is available for women of any age... I know the cost is higher for ivf but I think if your desire for a child is so great that you would go through the process help should be there for you.

Yes they cost an awful lot more than that in the long run, but not in one go.

Quite. And if you find out at a certain age that you need IVF then you may not have the time to raise that money.

My personal circumstances are, that we could definitely afford a child, given we have a higher household income than most of our friends with children and most of them aren't badly paid. We could not raise £6000 like that, if we did ever need IVF. Realistically I think it would take a year or two to really save hard to get that kind of money - all the time reducing your chances of success.

We might be able to take out a loan, but thats not the way to start a family either, is it? And doesn't that in itself add to the stress and therefore may make it harder to conceive anyway?

evilgiraffe, might have missed something, but just grasped you are just at the point of referal to have IVF.. there is tonnes and tonnes of hope and possibility for you that it will work. Feel free to send me a pm if you need any advice or support. You have lots of chances of success too just like the women on this thread that are saying they have had IVF babies.

marylou, sorry, think it's a bit flippant to say that if you can't afford a cycle of IVF that you can't afford to raise a child.. IVF requires lump sums of hard cash- I've got a 2 year old and we certainly don't have £5k sitting around to 'raise' her loads of people live hand to mouth and successfully raise children. I don't however, disagree with the sentiment that I'd try to 'find' the money if I could - credit card, re-mortgage, beg/borrow friends or family.. loans, take in lodgers, I know people that have done all of that.

I think that every woman should have the right to a treatment of IVF for their first baby. Im 24 and it took me 6 months to fall pregnant and those months were some of the most stressful of my life. Its gutting not falling pregnant when your heart is set on it and you cant think about anything else but falling pregnant. Its all consuming. I know that time was on my side, but some women dont feel that consuming need until later on, or dont meet the right man to have babies with. And i think its better to wait until you meet the right person and can have a proper family environment.

People bash older mothers all the time but my mum had me at 39 after trying for almost two years, she waited until she met the right man and they have been together for 27 years and I had a stable family life. Id much prefer an older mother to have a baby in a stable family environment than a younger mother who was jumping between boyfriends. My mum was the best mother and still is the best and at 63 she is still very active and we have a fantastic relationship. If I hadent met my husband at 21, then I probably would be have been an older mother too. And would hope that Id have the right to IVF

MaryLou2, people are paying upwards of £6000 for a cycle of private IVF. There are lots of people who are parents who do not have that kind of money kicking around that can just be "found". When do you have to shell out that kind of money in one go for a child? Yes they cost an awful lot more than that in the long run, but not in one go.