New NHS guidelines on IVF treatment to extend age limit up to 42 - what do you think?

You have no f*cking idea

Polka- alcoholism is a disease, childlessness is not.

Sheila - you talk as if a child was a lifestyle item, like a car or a nice house. Now maybe to people who can pop them out without a second thought that's all they are, I do sometimes wonder the way people talk on here. But really it is an incredibly foolish and heartless way to talk to women who long for children they may never have.

Hard not to see wanting treatment after you have ruined your health by choice with cigarettes,food,alcohol or laziness as entitled.

I'm biased from personal experience, so I agree with the revised guidelines. as others have said though, what really matters is how your pct applies them.

I've got fertility problems. It sucks. It is really upsetting. And the reasons are medical, not because I'm too old. in fact, my DH and I started ttc before we were married because we expected some problems. If we hadn't, we'd just be going through everything a year later and older.

I don't see myself as any more entitled for fertility treatment as I was for broken bones. In fact, I think it's amazing we live in a country with the NHS. And any IVF treatment I receive will be a blessing.

This is a really sensitive issue for those of us suffering from infertility. And trust me, having ivf is not a decision taken lightly.

Mrs DV - Why does it follow that because someone is desperate for a child the NHS must obviously enable them to have one?

Hard not to see that as entitled.

Have read this with great interest and a got bit emotional, so hope you will forgive the long post. It always astonishes me how different things are across the Channel. In The Netherlands where I am, many women don't start families until they are in their 40s which is considered absolutely fine. We pay for our health insurance same as we would our NI and I am entitled to three rounds of IVF all included in my package and it wouldn't be a problem for me to start this in my 40s if I so choose. Granted, we pay a bit extra every month for an enhanced deal (it's sort of state but private at the same time and you have to pay, I don't really understand it), but for us it is worth the extra 30 a month which covers all sorts of other things as well such as free eye and dental care!

Yes, it's a much smaller population here but I think France and Germany too have very good IVF schemes.

At the (grand) age of 34 after having met my dream man two years ago (after a divorce), we had been trying for a year and a half when I trotted down to our GP and got an immediate referral to a specialist gynecological unit and an appointment within 2 weeks. On forums I have read, I've seen people complain of waiting lists of six months personally I didn't think that was too bad! I know of women who traveled to Belgium to clinics as it was a) faster and b) cheaper. Not sure if there isn't some sort of reciprocal agreement either but I could be wrong.

I am sure there are expats and Dutch ladies on this forum who would say I am looking at the system a bit too much with rose-tinted spectacles, but from my experiences here it has been so much more straightforward. It's mainly that the outlook is just so totally different and it's just accepted that yes, as a woman you would like the opportunity to at least try for a family with your loved one.

When trying, I felt like a complete and total failure as a woman every time my period arrived. It was the most dejected, depressing awful feeling in the world that I couldn't give the man I loved babies. Having gone from a marriage where I couldn't ever stomach the thought of children to where I so badly wanted to provide the man I love with a family and not being able to do so broke me every month.

To some of the posts here who say it is only natural to not get pregnant if it just isn't going to happen, well my pragmatic, ruthless side would agree - that was my opinion with my ex. But now I totally understand that desire and feel a bit ashamed of my past opinion.

I nearly went through the pain of IVF (and who knows, I may still have to). I have had a friend who went through it with heartbreaking results on the first time. With my health issues, should my DH and I be denied the chance of a IVF because it would impact on my health too much? Who has the right to make that decision apart from us - we go into it eyes wide open. What IVF continues to do is offer hope. I would not want to take that away from anyone.

I am thrilled that the UK is bending a bit on this issue. I wish it would look to its neighbors to see if there are some lessons to be learnt on providing such care and save families and ladies spending 10000s.

Take no notice expat. It's just a stupid, ill thought out comment x

'Maybe if we actually stopped with all the life preserving treatments maybe we could sustain our time on this planet...'

Words fail me.

Frankly the issues of infertility/IVF treatment and adoption/fostering are totally unrelated and do not merit extended discussion on the same thread. They are not either/or options.

Children who need families need families who want THEM. They don't need families who want them to make up for not having their own. Fostering in particular would be totally unsuitable for a family who have been desperate to have their own child.

"Dad of four" is probably the biggest factor against you, Johnnybear. That is a large family, and I can imagine it would be daunting for an adopted child to join you, though I'm sure you're more than capable of providing a loving home.

DH and I will probably try adoption if IVF fails. Until then, though, I would dearly love to pass my own genes on - I think we're worth it. I couldn't give a damn about "designing" a child, but conceiving one at all would be a huge deal for us.

Olivia, are you okay? I'm confused.

And PS there's no need to shout.

There have been debates about over population in the last few days, Johnny.

Perhap you should find it so we can stick to the topic at hand.

The comments about leaving it too late are a bit harsh. i didn't meet my XH until I turned 30. If I had had a child before then, just to be the "right age", I would have been a single parent for the sake of having a child. I married at 33 and had my first and only child at 36. Not by choice, but just because that's how my life panned out.

XH had a very low sperm count and hypospadius, I had endometriosis. We were very lucky to conceive, but if we hadn't I wouldnt have had IVF as I was too overweight and wouldn't have been considered for it. If I had been ten years younger I would have gone for it.

I have one friend who is 42 and had 3 miscarriages. Despite her age, they wouldnt do any tests until she had had 3 of them. She had tests, nothing wrong.

Another friend was turned down for IVF for various reasons. She then developed endometrial and ovarian cancer and had a full hysterectomy at the age of 34, so no chance at all of having her own kids.

I think that IVF should be available to all, so that everybody could have one child if they need assistance to conceive. It should not be a postcode lottery, it should be the same across the country.

johnnybear - do you really, honestly think adoption is that simple? Practically, emotionally, physically? Really?

It's not like popping to the Children Shop and picking a child.

Love is not all you need to be an adoptive mother or father.

Seriously. I find it to be a really offensive attitude towards the countless people who are battling infertility currently. Of only it were as simple as you paint it.

Johnny my children aren't designer children anymore than those conceived naturally are.

The fact is many children in care need specific types of people as parents,their challenges are far harder to handle than those of children not dealt a shite hand in life.Not all parents are equipped to deal with these kids,they just aren't,very few are I suspect.

Nice post johnny
You wouldn't be without your children but me wanting my own children is me wanting a designer baby?

IVF is nothing short of miraculous. I know from first hand experience. You cant judge people for wanting this untill you have walked a mile in there shoes.

Most people wont even see it any way due to the post code lottery.

THIS COUNTRY NEEDS FOSTER PARENTS TOO......!!!!!!!

Maybe if we actually stopped with all the life preserving treatments maybe we could sustain our time on this planet...I've lost family and a child and still I believe that for the sake of "feelings" we are destroying the place we live in...Why would anyone go through years of pain (both physical and emotional) 1000's (sometimes 10's of thousands) of pounds? when there are so many children waiting is beyond me, i wish i could adopt but they wouldn't give a single gay dad of 4 the time of day.....People say "you just don't know what you're getting with an adopted child" (sorry for this bit) so fucking what!! you don't know what you're getting when you conceive naturally or through IVF so why does it matter...of course if you want a "designer baby" (oh yes this is where its going for the sake of "science") then crack on with it but if what you have is love for a child then go love a child....x

Would you like a cough sweet Olivia?

It's a recommendation only, it doesn't mean anything will actually change.

Having just found out on Sunday that my one funded NHS IVF attempt has failed, I now have to pay for any future attempts, which is understandable. I am 35, have been trying to conceive for over 3 years and neither my husband or I have any children. Other than 2 days last week when I had faint positive lines on 2 pregnancy tests, I have never been pregnant.
I agree that I shouldn't expect to be able to have a baby, but I want one. I also don't expect the NHS to have to keep paying for me as I know it's not essential treatment. But as my doctor pointed out to me, not everything the NHS pay for is essential treatment, broken limbs from skiing accidents for example. I don't have to have a baby, you don't have to go skiing

Hello OliviaMumsnet?

Agree that the time it takes to get assessed/start treatment takes far too long.

It's been 2 years since I first went to see my GP with concerns about my fertility. In those two years I've had just 3 appointments with a fertility specialist, 1 operation (laparoscopy), 5 rounds of Clomid and have just come to the end of a second round of ovulation induction. But from talking to others it seems I've been lucky to get that much. Surely that can't be right in this day and age.