Is soft plat hell what you get if you're trying to tidy up your girl's freshly washed hair?

Indeed.

Reply and respond are synonyms.

In the same way as if you said, "Lovely weather we're having" and I replied, "Wonderful for ducks."

I believe the key thing is that it's a response/reaction to a previous statement or action, rather than something entirely unconnected.

You can reply to a letter or an email, for example. Or reply with gunfire. In either case, no questions need to have been asked.

Ah but then some smart alec will wind us up by posting "To be or not to be" all over the shop...

It can always be arranged...

Only hypothetically

Yes, you blooming well are! Tsk, you lot...

By 'replies', we mean a reply to a (subsequently) deleted post.

So, if I post: "RowanMumsnet, you are a cow"...

... And RebeccaMumsnet replies: "I agree with HelenMumsnet: RowanMumsnet, you are a total cow" or even "Oi HelenMumsnet, what do you mean: RowanMumsnet is a cow?"

...We may well delete RebeccaMumsnet's post as well as HelenMumsnet's post because RebeccaMumsnet's post is repeating the personal attack that HelenMumsnet is making (and which gets her post deleted).

Def a reply situation, IMO

Yeah, Maryz is right - that's the situation the wording is meant to deal with

Oh I see, yes. That is a nice distinction.

Apologies if I sound a bit intense This is the closest I've got to a proper non-Christmas-based conversation in about a week

OK

What's the difference between a 'reply' and a 'response', and why would the second be better? (Disclaimer: I may be being thick)

(Further disclaimer: given the size of Tech's to-do list, this conversation in almost certainly academic in more than one sense)

You're seriously complaining that we're not being clear enough?