Justine said

Thank, LadyM. Didn't think so, but wondered.

You can tell it's not MaryZ by the lack of a Zed :)

No, MmeLindor. I used to be LadySybildeChocolate before her sad demise. I was BelledeChocolate before (I kept the Chocolate so I wouldn't confuse people too much).

When I say I haven't pulled punches, I don't mean that I am a tough speak-as-I-see-it person (yuk and double- yuk), I just mean that I haven't ever felt that the deletion policy gets in the way of saying what I want to say (apart from having to bite tongue in the face of trolls, but that seems a sensible prohibition).

LadyMary
you are not MaryZ, are you?

I feel mean for being snarky on this thread last night. It always seems to me that MNHQ does a pretty good job with regard both to deletes and refusal-to-deletes. There has to be a chunk of discretion left to them -- you can only codify rules up to a point, and the catch-all "not in the spirit of the site" seems like a good cover for just letting the staff use common sense, which they seem to do pretty well.

It isn't hard to avoid being deleted. I don't think I've ever pulled any punches, but I've never been deleted afaik.

Wow.

Ds has gone all mushy!

he says you all need this!

Are you feeling a bit stressed?

look at the kittens instead

It depends upon why you use mumsnet then. I don't come on here to argue or wind people up. I have experiences and knowledge to share and the TV is rubbish so I need something to do.

I agree with your first two sentences, but as to the third, I'd say it can achieve hegemony, and that is the aim.

There's no need for any personal attacks though, just don't post. I don't like some of the things that people say, I just get off the thread. There's no need to insult someone, it achieves nothing.

I think we all understand the difference between 'you are being naughty' and 'your behaviour is naughty', but deluded / delusional are words that are often used in a similar way.

When I think about it, I'd use 'deluded' but would assume a person meant similar if they used 'delusional'.

And I agree - what matters is how the words are used - a personal attack is a PA regardless of the words used.

Just assume that everyone is at the same level, and there's no problem.

I know, but then you end up with a dialogue of the deaf, don't you?

You're assuming that everyone on here understands what you mean though, Plyuska. Any web site has a wide variety of users, you can't assume they all know the difference.

Also, as an adjective, "delusional" couldn't be applied to something inanimate, like an opinion, whereas clearly "deluded" could be.

It would be interesting if people's posts started having delusions.

Yes, indeed; not sure why that point is not clear?

I think the confusion is (partly) between "deluded" and "delusional". If someone is deluded, then they are mistaken, often partly through fooling themselves. If they are delusional, they have delusions.

Bad comparison, Garlic.

'Delusional' is used in a 'omg, what on earth are you talking about' kind of way. You may not like it, but it is. It wouldn't occur to me that someone was seriously questioning my MH.

Calling someone anorexic is different because its only used to speak of someone with an eating disorder.

Allagory, maybe your dh could do a webchat.

Garlic - and you think SHOUTING and < > comments help how? I find that far less tolerable than being called a twat.

Plyushka - How rude. Of course people wont 'get it' unless someone (like Helen just has) finds a way of explaining it that makes some sense. Simply repeating 'it's offensive' does not help in any way. Nor do sarky comments surprisingly enough.

Helen - I didn't see that on any of the sites I looked it up on & have never intended it as anything other than a belief held with strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary as in - 'you are delusional if you think your teenager doesn't swear when you are not around'. It's getting hard to know what you can actually say without unwittingly offending someone :(