Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

MNHQ moving a thread AGAIN due to bereavement without OP asking.

109 replies

LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 12/09/2012 16:17

I am quite cross (again).

Once more, we have seen MNHQ move a thread from another topic to 'bereavement' without the OP requesting it. Why do you do this? Frankly it really pisses me (and others I believe) off that we cannot talk about infant death without having to be sidelined ushered into the bereavement topic. People suggest the move in good faith perhaps, thinking (albeit in a terribly patronising way) that any bereaved parent of an infant must be protected form robust discussion and 'supported'.

Please, MNHQ, I demand to know (once again) if you have a policy of doing this, and your reasoning. I don't have the time to explain exactly how marginilised it can make you feel when you realise that a forum that you love dearly shows itself to want to keep people with certain experiences away from the rest of the site. Please respond.

OP posts:
5madthings · 12/09/2012 16:52

i am also annoyed it was moved and more so as the op couldnt then find her own thread.

can mnhq please explain why they did this without the op requesting it? and also why she wasnt messaged so she would know where to find the thread.

there wasnt even a message on the thread to say that it would be mivef.

i think it was a perfectly reasonable aibu thread and the op chose to post it there and that should have been respected.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 12/09/2012 16:51

In fact, the 'support' was what was out of line. The question was very robust and did not call for suggestions of how to remember her son quietly, that wasn't what she wanted. If she wanted hand-holding and candle suppliers she could have posted in bereavement in the first place.

OP posts:
frasersmummy · 12/09/2012 16:49

The post that was moved was not about the death of her child perse .. it was about something her friends has siad around his birthday and the poster wanted to know if she was being reasonable or not

Therefore it was in the right place but it was moved making the op come back and apologise because she thought she had upset people which she didnt ..

so why was it moved mnhq.. it does feel like child death is always shunted off the main board asap.. like we shouldnt taint other parts of the board with our sad stories

Hopeforever · 12/09/2012 16:49

As someone who is in a very sensitive position at the moment, who is using MN as a way of coping while bed bound, I am thankful it was moved.

It is good that there is a topic for bereavement, that we can hide when we need to and use when necessary or be on when we are in a position to help others.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 12/09/2012 16:48

I don't think she was looking for support or a fight, but a debate. The OP is clearly an intelligent person who understands the forum and what AIBU entails.

The fact is that (and just like last time) the OP did not ask n=for it to be moved, and it was done anyway. How is that 'supportive'? That's just rude.

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 12/09/2012 16:48

I am not a bereaved parent, but moving these threads has saddened and angered me.

onceortwice · 12/09/2012 16:42

It's a difficult one.

I've posted on the other thread (hopefully sympathetically, but obviously without the experience of having lost a child).

Several people have pointed out that I shouldn't post because I don't know what I'm really posting about (which of course I don't, I'm just trying to offer a PoV).

MN do, I believe, try to protect people from insensitve or unthoughtful posts. AIBU is, I think most would agree, a bit of a minefield. It would be unfair for someone looking for support to be hit with a very different PoV (which would be fair to say is allowed in AIBU).

Should it have been moved? I don't know, but I don't think the OP was looking for a fight, I think she was looking for support. I responded on because of AIBU but wouldn't have if it had started in Bereavment, but on the whoe, I am not sure the advice I offered was really appreciated.

If people want to post in AIBU, then there has to be a general agreement that there might be several views you don't like / agree with.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 12/09/2012 16:40

I've reported my post for a quicker response (hopefully). Got to go to bed now but I hope the hear back by the morning.

OP posts:
CailinDana · 12/09/2012 16:36

Hear hear Loopy.

The OP couldn't even find her own thread because she didn't know it had been moved.

Is there a reason for moving it?